fox_confessor: (Default)
[personal profile] fox_confessor
I have to admit to having become very lazy over the last few months, but over the last few weeks especially. It's been delightful, or would be if I didn't suffer from Protestant Guilt (I should be working! Why am I not working?). I've cross stitched and read (nearly fifteen books this year so far, which I think might be a record since my twenties), and watched documentaries, and had brunch (only the once, this morning, but it was delightful and deserves a mention). My house is a tip (well, parts are, because I have a natural tendency toward cleanliness that I picked up I know now from whence because certainly all my family, even the bits I don't talk to, tend toward hoarding). I've given up cooking almost completely--we have soup and sandwiches and eggs, when one of us can be bothered, or cereal. Lots of fruit and cocoa, because that's delightful, too.

The guilt ruins it all slightly (though only slightly, not enough to make me change, it appears) and I've even called it being "lazy" above. Why do I feel like I need to do more, do you think? I have no one to please but myself, so why is it being lazy? Because it feels like being lazy. I suspect it's because I'm a woman and so I've been conditioned to think I have to be Doing and Managing and Keeping House, and whiling away a perfect good Sunday doing nothing but things that give me pleasure must be wrong in an inherent sort of way. Things are getting done (I mean, the Things That Must Be Done Eventually By Someone)--I've paid my bills for the month, my kitchen isn't literally a cesspit, the garbage can is on the curb, the litter boxes are relatively clean. I should have vacuumed maybe. The new blind (one broke) and air filter are bought but not actually installed. That could have been done today, I suppose. What I need to do is banish guilt though. It's a mostly useless emotion, right? Unless I've actually done something bad to hurt someone else, and I don't think my floors being a bit bad is doing that.

I don't want to go back to cooking, though. All that work for a twenty minute meal? When I do, it's because I have a taste for something, like beef stew or spaghetti.

Anyway, I'm not being lazy tonight. I'm enjoying myself tonight because tomorrow it's back to work where not doing anything all day (or at least only things that bring me pleasure) should leave me riddled with guilt :D Tonight I'm leaning toward chicken noodle soup (from a can!), a thick slice of bread and butter with orange marmalade (I've bought the lovely expensive stuff as a treat because my grocery bill has been slashed drastically since I don't buy meat anymore), an orange, and a cup of cocoa. More cross stitching. More reading. More of the ridiculous Chuck (it's not all documentaries).

Anyway, after my weird spiral of anxiety / sadness / terror that was Friday night, I took myself out of the house on Saturday for some tiny shopping and errand running, and perspective returned (for the most part). I bought myself a tiny blue porcelain bird and a loaf of rye bread. I started reading Longbourn by Jo Baker, professional (and exceptionally well written) Pride and Prejudice fanfiction :D about the lives of the Bennet's servants. I quite like it though I suspect awful things are going to happen at some point and I'm not going to like it as much anymore.
Date: 2014-02-18 05:36 am (UTC)

msilverstar: (Default)
From: [personal profile] msilverstar
We're pretty low on cooking too these days, girlchild a ridiculously picky eater and I worry about her health, but she's as stubborn as her dad and her brother and will not bend. Also, as my mom pointed out, how many decades of dinners?

Anyway, I'm glad you are feeling better and enjoyed your weekend!

May I please have a link to the P&P fanfic about the servants?
Date: 2014-02-18 05:37 pm (UTC)

From: [identity profile]
Picky eaters are so strange to me. I'll eat anything almost, or at least try it (usually more than once). My sister was a really picky eater as she was growing up. Wouldn't touch seafood or eggs, would only eat white meat chicken, would pick off every visible (and some invisible) signs of fat (which made eating lunch meat fun). The only vegetable she would eat were green peppers and green beans. I'm not even sure which fruits she would touch. She rarely ate sweets. Wouldn't touch anything ethnic at all (wouldn't even drink a cola in a Japanese restaurant). Luckily, as she grew up, she expanded her horizons. She's much more willing to try things now and has a lot more variety in her diet, so hopefully it's something your daughter will grow out of.

The story, Longbourne is actually a book ( that I was making a joke about being fanfiction. Still, read it if you've an interest. I think it's quite good and the mentions she makes about the original Pride and Prejudice characters are in character, and her original characters are well thought out. I've really enjoyed it so far, particularly as a huge Austen fan.
Date: 2014-02-22 07:46 am (UTC)

msilverstar: (elijah oh noes)
From: [personal profile] msilverstar
Twenboy was moderately picky when he was younger but now will eat nearly anything. Teengirl is getting pickier and pickier, I throw up my hands!


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