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fox_confessorTitle: The Old Lie, part 4/4
Username:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
escribo
Genre: action/adventure, romance
Rating: NC-17
WARNINGS: Violence, language, sex
Word Count 27,500 (this part roughly 7400)
Summary Magical AU. Seven years after the end of the war, Harry's new tutor turns out to have a secret and a crush on Sirius Black. When the past catches up to him, will it destroy the family he's finally found?
Author's Notes Originally written for the 2011![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
rsbigbang. Thank you to kiltsandlollies for the beta work. The title is a reference to the Wilifred Owen poem "Dolce Et Decorum Est".
***
It was late and the wind blew cold through Violeta's thin robe. She'd left her flat in a hurry after receiving an urgent owl from the Traitor. She didn't call him that in person, of course, only just thought it on the occasions when he pulled her away from her warm fire with his whingings and needling. He'd let his own fire go out, the wood too damp to keep it burning, and she tugged her scarf more firmly around her neck as she watched him pace the room, tearing apart the loaf of bread she'd brought him.
Peter Pettigrew had been handsome once, back when they'd been in school together. Perhaps not as good looking as James Potter or Sirius Black, especially not Sirius, but she'd found him cute enough--easy going and affable. He'd been so eager to be liked then, to have a girl--any girl--pay attention to him. He still liked that. Now, he was pasty from years of hiding in the dimmest corners of whoever and whatever was willing to shelter him, his skin hanging from his once pudgy frame as worry and stress ate away at him. He was nearly unrecognizable; though, Violeta noted, he still had his funny, scurrying walk that when combined with his overlarge front teeth gave him the appearance of a very large, very starved rat. Violeta shivered delicately at the imagery and picked her way further inside what he laughing called his study to perch on a broken chair.
"Does the werewolf have them?" Peter asked when he was finally finished with his meal, and wrapped the remains in a filthy handkerchief that he tucked into the recesses of his robe.
"I don't know yet. I'm not sure."
"You said--"
"I know what I said. Mundungus said it was him."
"You should have let old Dung take them from him, then."
"He wouldn't do it. He's afraid of Remus. It's better this way. It's just going to take time."
"We don't have time," Peter spit out. "Our master is coming, Vi."
"I had heard rumors--"
"We can hasten his return and have all the things that were promised us as reward for all that I gave up. No more scrounging around." Peter swept his gaze and dirty hand around the room, and the single candle flickered, casting shadows over the broken furniture and peeling wallpaper. "We have to have those scrolls. You must force the werewolf to give them to you."
"I will."
"How?"
"I told you. He's lonely--a werewolf can hardly be anything else. It'll be easy to convince him that we're meant to be together, and then he'll give me anything I ask. Men are fools when they're in love."
"Like me."
"No. Peter, I didn't mean that."
"Never mind. I didn't turn spy out of love for you. You were just a convenient way in."
Violeta bristled, hating the sound of Peter's voice but recognizing the lie. "You need me now, though."
"We need each other, Vi," he said, his eyes glittering as he tented his fingers in greedy thought. "When the Dark Lord returns, we'll need each other. The others will paint us as traitors--you who have gone back to being a simple potions mistress working with none other than Lily Evans herself, she who defied the Dark Lord three times. He won't be most pleased by that, I believe."
"And you who ran away when you had the chance to kill the werewolf after you discovered he was a spy, but didn't take it."
The Traitor made a sound of disgust and turned his back to her, rattling through some old firewhiskey bottles, searching for one that had even just a sip left but coming up empty. Violeta crossed her arms over her chest and wrinkled her nose. She couldn't believe she had once loved this ruin of a man, risked everything for him--continued to do so. She supposed she must love him still, though the idea was repugnant. "Something was going on when I went to the Potters' tonight."
"What?"
"I don't know, but Remus was there, and Sirius Black." The Traitor stopped his search, straightening though he didn't turn to face her. Violeta stood to cross the room, to tower over him. She knew he hated that; he always had. "You're not surprised, are you? After what happened at the museum. That was sloppy. I suppose you talked Dolohov into taking you there."
"Carrow. It was a mistake, I know," he said, his voice low, measured. "It's just that we're so close, and I need the scrolls. You said he had them."
"We'll get them."
"How can you even be sure? You said that Sirius had them."
"I thought he did." Violeta took a stumbling step back, her heel catching on a knot in the weathered oak planking. Peter caught her around her wrist, steadying her, his long, yellowed nails digging into her soft flesh. She gasped before she could help herself, pulling away from him before he could see her revulsion, though she knew it was too late.
"And now the werewolf," Peter spat. "Do you find him as handsome as you did Sirius?"
"I'm doing this for you--for us."
"And not just because it's as much your fault that the scrolls were lost to us in the first place? Of course you were lucky, weren't you, Vi? You had me to protect you. Me to take the blame."
"I didn't mean for it to happen the way it did," she said, hating the plea in her voice. It had been her fault, of course, that he'd been caught--that the plan had failed and the Dark Lord had fallen. He was right. She did need him. If Lord Voldemort ever discovered her role, he would destroy her. "Peter, listen," she whispered, turning to him again--reaching for him. "I just need more time. The Potters are having a party tomorrow night, but Remus isn't going. He'll be alone at the cottage. I'll go to him then."
"And do whatever is necessary?"
"Of course. I'll get the scrolls.
"We can't wait any longer."
"I know, Peter."
"I've waited so long as it is."
"I know. I’m sorry. I'll get them."
"And if you fail?"
"I won't."
"But if you do, we'll take the boy."
"Harry?"
"I was surprised to see that he looks just like James, though he has his mother's eyes. The werewolf fought hard to protect him." Peter pulled aside the collar of his shirt and showed Violeta the hastily healed wound along his neck. "If you fail, we'll see if the life of the boy is worth the scrolls."
Violeta swallowed hard and blinked against the sudden stinging in her eyes. Even at the height of the war, Violeta had never developed a taste for blood like some of the others--like Peter had. She believed in what she had fought for, had believed in Lord Voldemort, but something still revolted inside her at the thought of killing a child, especially Lily's son, not when they could so easily be turned. "I won't fail, Peter."
***
"It's freezing out here."
At the sound of Sirius' voice, Remus leaned forward from his hiding place at the side of the Potters’ house and smiled. He had only slipped away from the party for a moment when Sirius had gone into the kitchen to get them fresh bottles of butterbeer and he certainly hadn't expected Sirius to come searching for him. He watched as Sirius set down the open bottles on the stairs and crossed the garden. Sirius was looking particular wonderful tonight, in Remus' opinion. His bright red jumper, a gift from Harry who had picked it out all on his own, set off his gray eyes and his jeans clung to his long legs and showcased his particularly fantastic arse. Not that Remus was looking. Not much anyway.
When Sirius took his hands, rubbing them between his own, Remus dropped his gaze to his feet, his cheeks warming. "Not even wearing gloves," Sirius murmured. "You are the most ridiculous man. What are you doing out here?"
"Nothing. There were suddenly too many people," Remus said, and it was true enough. It wasn't just the Potters’ usual group, but Ministry people, politicians and others who were there to curry favor with either James or Professor Dumbledore. Remus hadn't planned to come at all, but then Lily had sent Sirius to Remus' cottage to talk him into it, and Remus found it impossible to say no. He suspected Lily knew that.
"You mean you saw Violeta come in."
"Yeah. I guess I didn't want her to see me."
"Why?"
"She asked me to come with her and I turned her down. I said I was going to have a quiet night in."
"You still could," Sirius said, and Remus thought Sirius' smile went a bit triumphant though Sirius kept his attention on bringing warmth to Remus' hands, and Remus thought he could almost lose himself in the feeling of Sirius' long fingers and the calluses on Sirius' palm. Remus suspected the distraction was likely the point.
"With you?" He'd meant for it to come out as a tease--a joke--but cringed when it came out sounding breathlessly hopeful even to his ears and he tried to tamp it down.
"If you'd like."
Remus felt a flush of warmth creep up his throat and over his cheeks as hope rushed back in. Remus eased his hands from Sirius' though Sirius stood so close that Remus couldn't escape him. He wasn't sure how much it bothered him that Sirius had learned enough about him to anticipate that. He suspected not much, since even the thought that Sirius paid that much attention made something warm and pleasant pool in his chest, and he struggled not to let Sirius see the effect he was having.
"I suppose I should say something to her. I don't want her to be angry.”
"Why not?" Remus' laugh escaped him before he could stop it, and Sirius grinned back, taking Remus' hands back between his own. "Can I ask you a question?"
"If you'd like."
"Are you interested in her?"
"I didn't think she'd be much interested in me."
"That's not an answer."
"No, I guess not. I guess I meant that I'm not used to people flirting with me. I don't have much practice, being what I am."
"And what are you?"
Remus looked up at Sirius then, his eyes wide with disbelief to find Sirius' usual tease was gone, replaced by honest concern. Ever since Sirius had found out about Remus' role in the war, the idea of his being a werewolf had become secondary, and it was strange to Remus, who had, with the exception of his relationship with Dumbledore, always been judged for it. It had been his defining characteristic--maybe not the first thing someone knew about him, but the last thing they remembered. Sirius and the Potters treated it as if it were just an illness he suffered from on occasion--an inconvenience. In the Potters’ case it meant that Remus had found the family he'd missed since his father had been murdered, but in Sirius’ it had translated into something else altogether. His schoolboy crush was amplified, improved by time, age and acquaintance. Remus found that he was quite on the way to falling in love with Sirius Black when he looked like this--full of care and compassion--and Remus had to look away before he betrayed himself completely.
Sirius wouldn't let him get away that easily though.
"C'mon, Remus," he whispered, catching Remus' chin between his thumb and forefinger and dragging his knuckles along Remus' jawbone. "You're one of the strongest Wizards I know, and your bravery during the war isn't a secret anymore. You're funny, smart, handsome--"
"Stop."
"Before I mention your extraordinary arse? I'm not surprised that someone is interested in you. What I want to know is if you're interested back, or if I'm in with a chance?"
Remus dropped his eyes, embarrassed, but Sirius nudged his face back up and Remus felt it--that swoopy, ridiculous feeling that he used to get as a boy with a crush.
"It's funny," Sirius whispered.
"What is?"
"It's like I've been waiting for something for ages, and now everything just clicks into place. I understand why James natters on about love. It feels fucking fantastic, like flying."
"Without a broom," Remus whispered back and was rewarded once more by that bright, victorious grin that Sirius had been leveling at him more and more often. Remus' hands began to shake at the sight of it and he reached for Sirius to steady himself. "That's some line."
"Is it working?"
Remus laughed, Sirius joining in, until they were both giggling like children--until Sirius leaned in, nudging his nose along the warm skin of Remus' neck. Remus could hear Sirius breathing him in, and curled his fingers more firmly around his jumper. "Is it working, Remus?"
"Yeah. I think it is."
Remus didn't wait for Sirius to kiss him, but slid his hand around Sirius' neck and pulled him down. It was brief, only just the faintest brush of lips, though when Sirius didn't pull away, Remus tugged him closer and kissed him more thoroughly and could only think about how absolutely brilliant it was, better than any dream. Sirius tasted warm, sweet, and buttery from their drinks earlier but his tongue, when it swept across Remus' lips once and then again until Remus opened to him, was hot and velvety. Remus slid his hands over Sirius' back, bringing them together, and Sirius pressed his body against Remus where he leaned against the house. Remus could feel how hard Sirius was, and he moaned deep in his throat, nearly doing it again when Sirius breathed out a laugh, moving his kisses along Remus' jaw.
"About that quiet night in," Sirius whispered, pushing his hips more firmly against Remus' and Remus pushed back. "Would you mind terribly if we left the party?"
"Should we tell James and Lily?"
"They're likely to figure it out." Sirius took Remus' earlobe between his teeth, nibbling gently, before he whispered, "I really wish we hadn't put up the wards to prevent anyone from apparating on the grounds."
"If I remember correctly, that was your idea."
"I should have thought it through more carefully."
"Remus?"
Startled by the sound of a voice, Sirius took a step away from Remus and deeper into the shadows while Remus leaned forward to see Violeta where she stood on the back steps in a pool of light from the lanterns. "Violeta."
'There you are," she called to him. "Lily thought you had gone back to your cottage."
"I was just on my way back."
"Oh, would you mind if I walked with you?" She asked as she took a step down onto the grass. "I really wanted to speak with you."
"Actually, I was--"
"Hello, Vi." Sirius stepped out of the shadows and slid his hand over Remus' back before drawing him closer.
"Sirius." Violeta stopped, clearly unsure of herself as she looked from Remus to Sirius and back again. She pushed a strand of hair that had escaped from her ponytail from her eyes and bit at her lip. "Are you--" she began and stopped as she took them in, seeming to answer her own question. "I had hoped…"
"I'm terribly sorry, Vi. I didn't mean to--" Remus started. "Sirius, I'll--"
Sirius nodded and pressed his lips against Remus' forehead before he walked down the path that led to the wood and Remus' cottage. Remus watched him, drawn to him, and was eager to follow, only pulled back to Violeta when she cleared her throat.
"You and Sirius looked very cozy," Violeta said, her voice stiff as she folded her hands in front of her and she held herself straight and still.
"I didn't mean to lead you on."
"You didn't. It was my fault. I read more into your smiles that you clearly meant." She flashed a thinsmile, the line of her lips severe. "I've dated Sirius, you know, as has half the population. I don't want to see you hurt, Remus."
"I'm sure I appreciate your concern, Vi."
"It's only just that he's terribly unreliable."
"I'm sorry you found him such. He's been very kind to me."
"I'm sure, Remus, but in your condition--"
Violeta moved closer, smoothing Remus' collar but Remus stepped out of her reach. "I am sorry if you feel I've led you on. It wasn't my intention."
"I could be good for you," she argued as she curled her fingers into his robe. "We could be good for each other. If you'd only just give me a chance."
"I'm sorry, Vi."
"Please don't do this."
"I don't mean to hurt you, but I never thought of us as more than friends." Remus turned from her, pulled away less gently than he meant to as he started down the path to his cottage--to Sirius. "I am sorry, Vi."
"Do you really think that Sirius Black wants you, a great, dirty werewolf? He wants to fuck you and tell his friends he's had you. He can't love you. He'll never love you."
Remus didn't turn around; he couldn't bear to see her face or to think about the things she'd said. He didn't believe her, not about Sirius. He couldn't, not now that he'd touched Sirius--kissed him. He continued down the path, his cold hands buried deep into his pockets. Ahead, just where the path turned deeper into the wood on the way to his cottage, he saw that Sirius was waiting for him and it was even easier to keep walking.
"I'm sorry, Remus!" Violeta yelled but he kept on, not looking back. "Please understand. Please come back! I don't want it to end like this!"
***
When Sirius woke, it was late morning and the milky winter sun was high in the sky, spilling in through the window of Remus' bedroom and falling into a shaft on the bed. Sirius stretched like a lazy cat before he tugged a mostly sleeping Remus back into his arms. Remus grunted, burrowing his face into Sirius' neck, and Sirius laughed quietly, his hand reaching beneath the pile of blankets to stroke along Remus' bare skin--down his scarred back and over his waist and hip, until he could curl his fingers around Remus' cock. Sirius kissed Remus' face, his cheeks and eyelids and his lips as Remus hummed out his pleasure, his eyes still closed. He reached for Sirius' cock, too, but Sirius only just batted his hand away, catching his wrists and pushing them into the sheets, pushing his body firmly into Remus'. Remus nudged his cheek, smiling as Sirius rocked against him until he was stuttering out his breaths with tiny, desperate sounds.
"Like this," Sirius muttered as he grazed his teeth against Remus' throat, moving so that their cocks aligned--so that Sirius could fist them both and move until they came together. Sirius collapsed heavily onto Remus, releasing his wrists, and Remus turned to kiss him, to hold him.
They lay like that until Sirius rolled onto his side to lay next to Remus, whispering, "Good morning," just to watch Remus smile again and to see him open his eyes.
'Mmm. Happy Christmas."
"Is is, isn't it? No wonder I got what I wished for."
"Did you?"
"Mmm," Sirius hummed, stroking his hand low across Remus' belly. "Best Christmas morning I've had since I got my first broomstick."
"It is just about perfect," Remus agreed. Sirius watched as Remus closed his eyes again and reached to lace his fingers with Sirius'.
"Just about?"
"I was just thinking how tea would go down a treat."
Sirius barked out a laugh, leaning in to kiss Remus again before he swung his feet onto the floor, the sheets pooling around his waist. "I'll make it and breakfast, too, if you have anything in your cupboards."
"There might be a jar of marmite and some biscuits."
"So you're not going to woo me with your culinary skills, then."
Remus grinned and curled more firmly onto his side around his pillow, his eyes wide open now as he watched Sirius stand and stretch before he tugged on his jeans, leaving them zipped but unbuttoned.
"You stay here and sleep, then. I'll manage," Sirius said and Remus only hummed at him again.
Out in the kitchen, Sirius filled the kettle with water as he sung Christmas carols, feeling ridiculously happy for the first time in an age. He tapped the kettle with his wand once, twice to heat the water to boiling before pouring it over the tea bags he'd found in the cupboard. While they steeped, he wandered the small kitchen finding it devoid of food, even of the promised marmite. He thought maybe he could run up to James' and raid their kitchen while Remus slept, knowing that Lily would likely take pity on them. On the small desk in the corner among the texts and parchments, Sirius found a scrap of paper but no quill to leave a quick note. He opened first one drawer and then another before he found one of those strange Muggle pens and something else--something he never expected to see.
It was a small, silver knife with the letters O.B. elaborately carved along the blade. An S had been added in a rough hand to make the initials read S.O.B.--Sirius Orion Black. As Sirius turned the knife over in his hand, he tried to remember the last time he'd seen it. It'd been years. He’d always thought that Regulus had taken it. A moment later, he heard the floorboards creak behind him, and he turned to find Remus in a pair of faded khakis and an old jumper walking toward him with a slight limp.
"Is your knee all right?"
"Only a little stiff. What did you find?"
Sirius showed him the knife and Remus blushed. "Ah. You dropped that once," Remus said as he came closer.
"Years ago. I had to have been still at Hogwarts when I lost it."
"And I should have given it back. I was sixteen and rather stupidly sentimental, I'm afraid."
"You had a crush on me?" Sirius asked, raising his eyebrows.
"Rather."
"I wish I'd known."
"You should have it back." Remus closed Sirius' hand over the knife and leaned in to press a kiss to Sirius' bare shoulder. "I'm sure it meant something to you, and I was wrong to have kept it."
"You would say that," Sirius said fondly as he flicked open the blade. "It belonged to my father. He didn't so much give it to me as I borrowed it without telling. I found it particularly useful when I was younger, and so I took it from his desk one day."
"Yeah, I--ehm--discovered its usefulness over the years. You should still have it back."
"No… I want you to keep it." Sirius closed the blade and slipped it into Remus' pocket before he settled his hands onto Remus' hips. "Consider it a Christmas gift."
"I thought I’d already been given my gift. Twice."
"We'll get breakfast sorted," Sirius said, grinning against Remus' lips, "and make it a third."
Remus slid his hands down to cup Sirius' arse, to tug him closer as they began to kiss again, when the silvery spectre of James' stag patronus shimmered to life in the kitchen. Sirius shivered at the sight of it, dreading the panicked message even as James' voice filled the kitchen. Remus was already on the move, shoving his shoes onto his feet and grabbing his cloak as Sirius caught up and managed only just an old t-shirt of Remus' and shoes before they were both out the door, wands drawn.
Sirius ran ahead through the woods, finding the door to the house open and the kitchen ransacked.
"James!" Sirius yelled and then again when there was no answer. He found James in the hall, a gash on his head. Sirius collapsed next to him, turning him onto his back and feeling for a pulse. It took him a few minutes to get James to come around and by that time, Remus was there, casting protective spells over the house and calling for Harry and Lily. There was no answer.
"They've gone," James said, his voice breaking. Sirius helped James sit up, to lean against the wall as Remus came back through.
"We've got to get you to St. Mungo's."
"No! I'm fine," James said as he struggled to his feet. "They've taken Harry and Lily."
"Who has? At least sit down, James."
"I can't sit. They're gone. I have to get them back."
"We will," Remus said as he helped Sirius support James and move him into the kitchen. Sirius righted a chair and pressed James into it as Remus pointed his wand at the wound on James' head and said the incantation to staunch the flow of blood. "Did you see who it was?"
"It was Peter with--I don't know, that burly fellow from the Ministry. Carrow. They came through with Violeta."
"Violeta?" Sirius looked over his shoulder to where Remus stood in the doorway, casting another spell as the ground, and watched as Remus faltered for a moment.
"She floo called this morning in tears. She said she wanted to talk to Lily. I was annoyed. It's Christmas, I said, but you know how Lily is. I took Harry out to look at his gifts beneath the tree but I heard a commotion in the kitchen and I went to see. Harry ran ahead of me, and then I don't know. I wasn't prepared, and they were gone before I could draw my wand.
"There's no trace of them on the grounds. They had to have left through the Floo," Remus said. "She must have let them past."
"I was so stupid. I knew she and Peter had been together in school, but it was so long ago. I didn't think she could have anything to do with the Death Eaters. I should have seen."
"You couldn't have known," Remus said from where he knelt by the fire, once again casting an incantation, and Sirius was thankful for his calm. "There's something here."
James was on his feet again immediately, wand drawn, and Sirius caught him as he swayed on his feet. "What is it?"
"A message of some sort. Stand back." Sirius and James watched as Remus awkwardly stood, reaching to steady himself with a hand to Sirius' shoulder. He pointed his wand at the floo, the flame roaring to life, and then the kitchen was filled with the sound of Peter's laughter as they remembered it from years ago but gone slightly high, hysterical. He shook his head, displacing some of the embers before his mouth opened and a message came forth:
James, my old friend, I hate that we're forced to meet like this. I had hoped that one day you would come to understand how very persuasive the Dark Lord could be, but you only defied his will--his power. If only you'd seen reason when the Dark Lord gave you the chance, then things could have been so different. I don't wish to harm your family, but you must see that this is the only way. I have been forced to live like a rat for too long, my master banished. The time has come to set things right. I want the werewolf and the set of scrolls he's stolen from us. I want you to bring him to me by noon at my mother's grave. I was very touched to see that you've kept it up, my friend, and out of respect for that, I think you'll agree that the werewolf is a very small sacrifice in exchange for the life of Lily and your son."
The message ended and the fire consumed the image of Peter and then died away, leaving the kitchen cold and silent.
"Scrolls?" James asked, shaking Sirius' hand from his arm. "I don't understand this. What do they want?"
While Peter had spoken, Sirius had watched Remus, seeing how he paled visibly, his hands beginning to shake. Sirius reached for him now but Remus shook his head.
“They want these,” Remus said, and drew out a roll of parchments from inside his robe. He broke the string that held them together and tossed them onto the table. Sirius recognized the one he had seen in Remus' cloak when they'd been at St. Mungo's, and he stepped forward to press it open.
"What are they?" James asked. "Why do they want them?"
"They belonged to my father. He created them." Remus sat in the chair that James had abandoned and watched quietly as James and Sirius bent over the scrolls. There were five all together, faded and smudged in places, the handwriting rushed but thorough. The runes were perfectly formed, and Sirius lined them up along the table, seeing now that they formed a complete spell.
"After I was bitten," Remus continued, "my father was desperate to find a cure. He blamed himself. He discovered this instead--a spell to resurrect the dead and restore a fractured soul."
"He said that you stole them. He meant now," James said. "Gringotts. Grimmauld Place."
"They stole them first. Voldemort was offering a cure to the werewolves in order to gain their support. It was lies, all of it. There's no cure, but my father--" Remus stopped, and cleared his throat, straightened in the chair, struggling to go on. "He wanted to save me. I was all he had left. He was going to trade the spell for their cure but then he found out they were lying, so he broke the parchment into five scrolls and hid them away. By then they knew what it was, what he’d accomplished, and they killed him for it.
"Before he died, he told me what he had done. During the war, I listened for news--discovered that they were hunting for them, too, but Professor Dumbledore told me to wait."
"He knew about them?" Sirius asked.
"I told him everything. When the war ended, he told me what he knew, and I've been searching for them since."
"That's how you knew Regulus had one."
Remus nodded and then looked at the scrolls for a moment. They looked harmless--inconsequential--but Sirius knew from the look on Remus' face how much they had cost him.
"What were you going to do with them?" James asked.
"I was going to destroy them. I had to have all of them before I could--my father had put protective spells on them. I only just got the last."
"At the museum."
"I'm sorry, James. I thought we would be safe. I was invited to be there. They didn't even know what they had."
"Someone did."
"I told Violeta. I didn't know about her and Peter. I never suspected. I wouldn't have put Harry in any kind of danger if I’d only just thought." Remus stood and gathered the scrolls together, using the remnants of the string to tie them back together. "Peter wants me. I'll take the scrolls and trade them for Lily and Harry."
"They'll kill you," James said, and this time when Sirius reached for Remus, he didn't move away.
"I know," Remus said. "But I won't let anything happen to your family, James. I couldn't live with myself."
"There has to be another way. I'm not going to sacrifice you."
"Sirius is right, Remus. I can't let you do that. Besides, they'll use the scrolls to bring Voldemort back. We can't let that happen." James said. "We have to gather the Order together. Dumbledore."
"There isn't time," Sirius said as he looked at the clock.
"Then we'll go together. The three of us," James said as he took the scrolls from Remus. "We'll fight together."
***
There'd been no time to make a plan. At the edge of James' property, they apparated to the now abandoned village where Peter had grown up, landing in a field just outside of the derelict church where his mother was buried. Snow was just beginning to fall, and Remus tugged his worn traveling cloak more firmly around his shoulders and the hood low over his face. He could see that the churchyard wouldn't offer much protection in a fight. They were walking into a trap and they all knew it. To either side of him stood James and Sirius, tall and handsome in their black robes. James was nearly vibrating with pent up adrenaline, and Sirius took Remus' hand, giving it a squeeze as he offered a grim smile. Remus knew he couldn't let anything happen to either of them. They had no plan, but a small one was beginning to form in Remus' head.
As the church bells began to ring out the hour, startling them all, Sirius squeezed Remus' hand one last time before striding ahead across the field to hide on the other side of the church, meaning to protect them if things went poorly--and they were almost assured that they would. Sirius moved quickly across the yard, and hid himself just as the last bell tolled and silence descended once more. It was then that they heard the pop of apparition as Peter and Violeta arrived in the cemetery.
"James! My old friend," Peter greeted them. He gave a little bow, his smile revealing a mouth full of yellow and decaying teeth. With his arms spread wide, the sleeves of his lurid, grease stained jacket hitched to show three inches of his wrists and the dirty hands below. "I was so worried you wouldn't come, and you've brought a guest."
"Where are they?" James yelled, drawing his wand. "I want to see Lily and Harry."
"Oh they're very near. Only, your boy is so very like you James. He got up to a bit of mischief, like we did at school, do you remember? I'm afraid I've had to lock him up."
"Have you hurt him?"
"Heavens, no. Just like I would have never hurt you, James. Do you remember how close we were? Why, you've visited my mother's grave every year on the anniversary of my death. I owe you so much, James, and I mean to pay you back."
"Just get on with it, Peter," James hissed, raising his wand, and Remus grabbed his arm to stop him from firing off a hex.
"Patience. I've waited seven years for this moment. Where's Sirius? I had hoped he'd come as well."
"He's not here."
"I doubt that. He was always the one you turned to first, wasn't he? Never me. You never quite understood me, did you? You thought I was weak--"
"I didn't, Peter. We were friends."
"You and Sirius were friends--best of friends, nearly brothers--but I loved you best, didn't I? And still it was never Peter Pettigrew that you turned to, until the very end. Until you needed a secret keeper, and even that was a laugh, wasn't it? Stupid, fat P-P-Peter as secret keeper?" Peter smoothed his hands down the lapels of his jacket and rocked back onto his heels. "My Lord Voldemort was very pleased me with that day. He promised me he wouldn't kill you, James, unless you forced him to. He only wanted the boy."
"I want to see him, Peter," James said as he took a step forward.
"Yes, I'm coming to that. You brought the werewolf, I see. Excellent. And the scrolls?"
"I have them," Remus said. "You can take them when Lily and Harry are safe."
"Oh, I think I'll be deciding the order of things here, werewolf. You tricked me once and it won’t happen again. You remember Violeta, of course. Tricked her as well, didn't you?"
"I didn't."
"Oh, she told me all about last night. How she came to you and how you went off with Sirius Black instead. Are you sure he's not here, James?"
"I told you it didn't have to be like this, Remus," Violeta said. "Your life was worth it, I hope."
"Were you going to kill me last night, Vi?"
"I had it planned out very prettily. I would have made it look like you attacked me and that I killed you in self-defense. No one would have blamed me. Lily and Harry wouldn't have to be involved. They would have found you and no one would have known about the scrolls. But now--"
"Now, I'll have the pleasure of killing you myself," Peter said, grinning again. "Do put your wand away, James, and bind him tight. Hands behind the back, I think. That's it; make sure he can't get loose. His wand, too, please."
Remus turned his back to James, holding very still as the thin blue rope lashed his wrists together. James turned him gently by the shoulder and reached inside his robe to take his wand, before he turned back to face Peter. Violeta darted forward and took Remus' wand from James before scurrying off to the side and out of the way. She had her own wand pointed at James, as did Peter.
"And the scrolls as well."
James dug his hand into Remus' robe one last time and came up with the scrolls. He held them up to show to Peter. "I want to see Lily and Harry now."
Peter grinned again and waved his hand toward the top of the church. Remus and James saw that Lily and Harry were trapped in the bell tower with Rodolphus Lestrange keeping watch. "They're quite safe. Rodolphus insisted on coming along once he heard that the werewolf would be here. It seems that Lupin killed his brother some years back as Rabastan was retrieving one of the scrolls. So by rights, it should belong to him, I suppose. If you would be so kind, James, to bring the scrolls and the werewolf to me."
***
Sirius eased his way into the boarded-up church, being careful to make no noise. Inside, he could see the hulking figure of a man who was rather gleefully smashing small statues against the marble floor. Carrow. Sirius inched down the dark nave toward the altar. The benches had been tossed about and broken to bits, some of them, and Sirius winced as his shoes crushed the plaster that had fallen from the ceiling, the sound loud to his ears. Carrow was too involved in his vandalism to hear, and so it was too late for him to notice when Sirius cast his spell. The full body bind felled him, and Sirius made sure to secure him tightly before he knocked him out. He had only just straightened up when he felt the tip of a wand press into the side of his neck.
"Hello cousin."
***
Remus looked up and saw Rodulphus, older now but still so very much like Rabastan had been in life, and then, at the church stairs, there was Sirius and the witch, Bellatrix, threatening him at wandpoint. Remus expected to feel fear but found none. Instead, he felt a burning rage--for his father, for James and his family, for himself. He trudged behind James, only just waiting until the scrolls were in Peter's hand and Peter had motioned for Rodulphus to free Lily and Harry and apparate with them into the cemetery before he looked up again, his plan suddenly clear to him.
"There now," Peter said, raising his wand to press it against Remus' chest. "Everything’s the way it should be, right, James? And to show you that I can be merciful as well, take your family and go."
James looked at Remus, and Remus gave him a grim smile and then a slight nod, before he leveled a kinder smile in the direction of Sirius. James returned it, and Remus waited until James stood between Rodulphus and his family before he charged at Peter, ignoring the searing pain in his shoulder as first Peter and then Rodulphus fired a strong stinging hex against him. Remus' momentum caught Peter and they both fell to the ground. James drew his wand and fired back at Rodulphus before Rodulphus could cast another spell, and Sirius launched himself at Bellatrix.
"Go, Lily!" James roared as he ran to Remus' aid. "Take Harry."
Remus heard the pop of apparition once more and rolled to his back, wanting to be sure that Lily and Harry were safe now. Near him, Peter was on one hand and both knees, his free hand cradling a broken nose, the scrolls on the ground just out of his reach. Remus aimed a kick at Peter's ribs and Peter howled in pain, and Remus took his chance to move toward the scrolls before Peter could.
"Accio scrolls!" Violeta screamed, her voice just on the edge of hysteria, and the sheaf of parchments flew into her hand. Seeing they were safe, Peter screeched with laughter and struggled to his feet.
"Sirius!" James shouted as Rodulphus hurled curse after curse at him, pinning him behind a large headstone. Beside the church, Bellatrix and Sirius flung curses at one another. James tried to free Remus from his binds, only just managing it in time for Remus to roll away from another of Peter's hexes.
Ignoring the pain that wracked his body, Remus ran toward Violeta. He had no wand, no hope, but blindly charged ahead, unwilling to let her get away with the scrolls. His fingers curled around her arm as she began to apparate away, and he tugged hard, hearing as if from far away Sirius and James shouting at him, and then he fell to the ground and all went dark.
***
"You gave us a scare. Again."
"What happened?"
"Splinched yourself good grabbing onto Violeta like that."
"I couldn't let her get away. What about Harry and--"
"They're fine, thanks to you. Again." Sirius pushed Remus' hair from his forehead, staring down hard at him for a moment, biting back more words of concern. "It's not that I mind having the same conversation," he joked instead. "But could we maybe not keep having it at St. Mungo's? I hate hospitals."
"Me, too."
"I haven't decided if what you did back there was incredibly brave or extremely stupid."
"Probably a little of both. What happened?"
"After Lily got away with Harry, she called for help. They arrived in time to capture Bellatrix and Rodulphus."
"And Peter?"
"He disappeared. They're searching for him."
"With the scrolls?"
"No. They're safe with Professor Dumbledore now. He's going to destroy them."
"Good. And Violeta?"
"She didn't make it. Peter killed her in the end."
"I'm sorry."
"I know. I can't forgive her. She wanted you dead, but I knew her at school. She was Lily's friend. I'm sorry for them. For all the pain this war has caused." Sirius cleared his throat and looked away. He was grateful when Remus took his hand.
"Will they let me go home soon, do you think?"
"I should call the nurse."
"In a minute." Remus smiled at Sirius and clutched his hand harder. "I suppose I should find out if I have a home to go back to? And a job."
"Of course you do," Sirius said, and watched as relief crossed Remus' face. He smiled and closed his eyes, leaning back into his pillow. "The Potters want you back, especially Harry."
"A thief and a werewolf?"
"I want you back."
Remus opened his eyes and tilted his head to look at Sirius. "I thought I was going to lose you."
"Not likely. Not ever. Not when I've only just got you."
It barely started as a kiss. Sirius closed his eyes, his mouth pressed only just against Remus' lips. They breathed together, Remus tangling his hands in Sirius' hair and Sirius framing Remus' face with his fingers--touching him tenderly, learning him--until Remus parted his lips to kiss Sirius more gently than he had ever been kissed by anyone before. Sirius sank down onto the bed, into Remus. It was still so new, this thing between them, despite all that they had shared since the night of the party, but everything about it felt right, and if Sirius had ever been sure of anything, it was of this moment.
part 1
part 2
part 3
part 4
Username:
escriboGenre: action/adventure, romance
Rating: NC-17
WARNINGS: Violence, language, sex
Word Count 27,500 (this part roughly 7400)
Summary Magical AU. Seven years after the end of the war, Harry's new tutor turns out to have a secret and a crush on Sirius Black. When the past catches up to him, will it destroy the family he's finally found?
Author's Notes Originally written for the 2011
rsbigbang. Thank you to kiltsandlollies for the beta work. The title is a reference to the Wilifred Owen poem "Dolce Et Decorum Est". It was late and the wind blew cold through Violeta's thin robe. She'd left her flat in a hurry after receiving an urgent owl from the Traitor. She didn't call him that in person, of course, only just thought it on the occasions when he pulled her away from her warm fire with his whingings and needling. He'd let his own fire go out, the wood too damp to keep it burning, and she tugged her scarf more firmly around her neck as she watched him pace the room, tearing apart the loaf of bread she'd brought him.
Peter Pettigrew had been handsome once, back when they'd been in school together. Perhaps not as good looking as James Potter or Sirius Black, especially not Sirius, but she'd found him cute enough--easy going and affable. He'd been so eager to be liked then, to have a girl--any girl--pay attention to him. He still liked that. Now, he was pasty from years of hiding in the dimmest corners of whoever and whatever was willing to shelter him, his skin hanging from his once pudgy frame as worry and stress ate away at him. He was nearly unrecognizable; though, Violeta noted, he still had his funny, scurrying walk that when combined with his overlarge front teeth gave him the appearance of a very large, very starved rat. Violeta shivered delicately at the imagery and picked her way further inside what he laughing called his study to perch on a broken chair.
"Does the werewolf have them?" Peter asked when he was finally finished with his meal, and wrapped the remains in a filthy handkerchief that he tucked into the recesses of his robe.
"I don't know yet. I'm not sure."
"You said--"
"I know what I said. Mundungus said it was him."
"You should have let old Dung take them from him, then."
"He wouldn't do it. He's afraid of Remus. It's better this way. It's just going to take time."
"We don't have time," Peter spit out. "Our master is coming, Vi."
"I had heard rumors--"
"We can hasten his return and have all the things that were promised us as reward for all that I gave up. No more scrounging around." Peter swept his gaze and dirty hand around the room, and the single candle flickered, casting shadows over the broken furniture and peeling wallpaper. "We have to have those scrolls. You must force the werewolf to give them to you."
"I will."
"How?"
"I told you. He's lonely--a werewolf can hardly be anything else. It'll be easy to convince him that we're meant to be together, and then he'll give me anything I ask. Men are fools when they're in love."
"Like me."
"No. Peter, I didn't mean that."
"Never mind. I didn't turn spy out of love for you. You were just a convenient way in."
Violeta bristled, hating the sound of Peter's voice but recognizing the lie. "You need me now, though."
"We need each other, Vi," he said, his eyes glittering as he tented his fingers in greedy thought. "When the Dark Lord returns, we'll need each other. The others will paint us as traitors--you who have gone back to being a simple potions mistress working with none other than Lily Evans herself, she who defied the Dark Lord three times. He won't be most pleased by that, I believe."
"And you who ran away when you had the chance to kill the werewolf after you discovered he was a spy, but didn't take it."
The Traitor made a sound of disgust and turned his back to her, rattling through some old firewhiskey bottles, searching for one that had even just a sip left but coming up empty. Violeta crossed her arms over her chest and wrinkled her nose. She couldn't believe she had once loved this ruin of a man, risked everything for him--continued to do so. She supposed she must love him still, though the idea was repugnant. "Something was going on when I went to the Potters' tonight."
"What?"
"I don't know, but Remus was there, and Sirius Black." The Traitor stopped his search, straightening though he didn't turn to face her. Violeta stood to cross the room, to tower over him. She knew he hated that; he always had. "You're not surprised, are you? After what happened at the museum. That was sloppy. I suppose you talked Dolohov into taking you there."
"Carrow. It was a mistake, I know," he said, his voice low, measured. "It's just that we're so close, and I need the scrolls. You said he had them."
"We'll get them."
"How can you even be sure? You said that Sirius had them."
"I thought he did." Violeta took a stumbling step back, her heel catching on a knot in the weathered oak planking. Peter caught her around her wrist, steadying her, his long, yellowed nails digging into her soft flesh. She gasped before she could help herself, pulling away from him before he could see her revulsion, though she knew it was too late.
"And now the werewolf," Peter spat. "Do you find him as handsome as you did Sirius?"
"I'm doing this for you--for us."
"And not just because it's as much your fault that the scrolls were lost to us in the first place? Of course you were lucky, weren't you, Vi? You had me to protect you. Me to take the blame."
"I didn't mean for it to happen the way it did," she said, hating the plea in her voice. It had been her fault, of course, that he'd been caught--that the plan had failed and the Dark Lord had fallen. He was right. She did need him. If Lord Voldemort ever discovered her role, he would destroy her. "Peter, listen," she whispered, turning to him again--reaching for him. "I just need more time. The Potters are having a party tomorrow night, but Remus isn't going. He'll be alone at the cottage. I'll go to him then."
"And do whatever is necessary?"
"Of course. I'll get the scrolls.
"We can't wait any longer."
"I know, Peter."
"I've waited so long as it is."
"I know. I’m sorry. I'll get them."
"And if you fail?"
"I won't."
"But if you do, we'll take the boy."
"Harry?"
"I was surprised to see that he looks just like James, though he has his mother's eyes. The werewolf fought hard to protect him." Peter pulled aside the collar of his shirt and showed Violeta the hastily healed wound along his neck. "If you fail, we'll see if the life of the boy is worth the scrolls."
Violeta swallowed hard and blinked against the sudden stinging in her eyes. Even at the height of the war, Violeta had never developed a taste for blood like some of the others--like Peter had. She believed in what she had fought for, had believed in Lord Voldemort, but something still revolted inside her at the thought of killing a child, especially Lily's son, not when they could so easily be turned. "I won't fail, Peter."
"It's freezing out here."
At the sound of Sirius' voice, Remus leaned forward from his hiding place at the side of the Potters’ house and smiled. He had only slipped away from the party for a moment when Sirius had gone into the kitchen to get them fresh bottles of butterbeer and he certainly hadn't expected Sirius to come searching for him. He watched as Sirius set down the open bottles on the stairs and crossed the garden. Sirius was looking particular wonderful tonight, in Remus' opinion. His bright red jumper, a gift from Harry who had picked it out all on his own, set off his gray eyes and his jeans clung to his long legs and showcased his particularly fantastic arse. Not that Remus was looking. Not much anyway.
When Sirius took his hands, rubbing them between his own, Remus dropped his gaze to his feet, his cheeks warming. "Not even wearing gloves," Sirius murmured. "You are the most ridiculous man. What are you doing out here?"
"Nothing. There were suddenly too many people," Remus said, and it was true enough. It wasn't just the Potters’ usual group, but Ministry people, politicians and others who were there to curry favor with either James or Professor Dumbledore. Remus hadn't planned to come at all, but then Lily had sent Sirius to Remus' cottage to talk him into it, and Remus found it impossible to say no. He suspected Lily knew that.
"You mean you saw Violeta come in."
"Yeah. I guess I didn't want her to see me."
"Why?"
"She asked me to come with her and I turned her down. I said I was going to have a quiet night in."
"You still could," Sirius said, and Remus thought Sirius' smile went a bit triumphant though Sirius kept his attention on bringing warmth to Remus' hands, and Remus thought he could almost lose himself in the feeling of Sirius' long fingers and the calluses on Sirius' palm. Remus suspected the distraction was likely the point.
"With you?" He'd meant for it to come out as a tease--a joke--but cringed when it came out sounding breathlessly hopeful even to his ears and he tried to tamp it down.
"If you'd like."
Remus felt a flush of warmth creep up his throat and over his cheeks as hope rushed back in. Remus eased his hands from Sirius' though Sirius stood so close that Remus couldn't escape him. He wasn't sure how much it bothered him that Sirius had learned enough about him to anticipate that. He suspected not much, since even the thought that Sirius paid that much attention made something warm and pleasant pool in his chest, and he struggled not to let Sirius see the effect he was having.
"I suppose I should say something to her. I don't want her to be angry.”
"Why not?" Remus' laugh escaped him before he could stop it, and Sirius grinned back, taking Remus' hands back between his own. "Can I ask you a question?"
"If you'd like."
"Are you interested in her?"
"I didn't think she'd be much interested in me."
"That's not an answer."
"No, I guess not. I guess I meant that I'm not used to people flirting with me. I don't have much practice, being what I am."
"And what are you?"
Remus looked up at Sirius then, his eyes wide with disbelief to find Sirius' usual tease was gone, replaced by honest concern. Ever since Sirius had found out about Remus' role in the war, the idea of his being a werewolf had become secondary, and it was strange to Remus, who had, with the exception of his relationship with Dumbledore, always been judged for it. It had been his defining characteristic--maybe not the first thing someone knew about him, but the last thing they remembered. Sirius and the Potters treated it as if it were just an illness he suffered from on occasion--an inconvenience. In the Potters’ case it meant that Remus had found the family he'd missed since his father had been murdered, but in Sirius’ it had translated into something else altogether. His schoolboy crush was amplified, improved by time, age and acquaintance. Remus found that he was quite on the way to falling in love with Sirius Black when he looked like this--full of care and compassion--and Remus had to look away before he betrayed himself completely.
Sirius wouldn't let him get away that easily though.
"C'mon, Remus," he whispered, catching Remus' chin between his thumb and forefinger and dragging his knuckles along Remus' jawbone. "You're one of the strongest Wizards I know, and your bravery during the war isn't a secret anymore. You're funny, smart, handsome--"
"Stop."
"Before I mention your extraordinary arse? I'm not surprised that someone is interested in you. What I want to know is if you're interested back, or if I'm in with a chance?"
Remus dropped his eyes, embarrassed, but Sirius nudged his face back up and Remus felt it--that swoopy, ridiculous feeling that he used to get as a boy with a crush.
"It's funny," Sirius whispered.
"What is?"
"It's like I've been waiting for something for ages, and now everything just clicks into place. I understand why James natters on about love. It feels fucking fantastic, like flying."
"Without a broom," Remus whispered back and was rewarded once more by that bright, victorious grin that Sirius had been leveling at him more and more often. Remus' hands began to shake at the sight of it and he reached for Sirius to steady himself. "That's some line."
"Is it working?"
Remus laughed, Sirius joining in, until they were both giggling like children--until Sirius leaned in, nudging his nose along the warm skin of Remus' neck. Remus could hear Sirius breathing him in, and curled his fingers more firmly around his jumper. "Is it working, Remus?"
"Yeah. I think it is."
Remus didn't wait for Sirius to kiss him, but slid his hand around Sirius' neck and pulled him down. It was brief, only just the faintest brush of lips, though when Sirius didn't pull away, Remus tugged him closer and kissed him more thoroughly and could only think about how absolutely brilliant it was, better than any dream. Sirius tasted warm, sweet, and buttery from their drinks earlier but his tongue, when it swept across Remus' lips once and then again until Remus opened to him, was hot and velvety. Remus slid his hands over Sirius' back, bringing them together, and Sirius pressed his body against Remus where he leaned against the house. Remus could feel how hard Sirius was, and he moaned deep in his throat, nearly doing it again when Sirius breathed out a laugh, moving his kisses along Remus' jaw.
"About that quiet night in," Sirius whispered, pushing his hips more firmly against Remus' and Remus pushed back. "Would you mind terribly if we left the party?"
"Should we tell James and Lily?"
"They're likely to figure it out." Sirius took Remus' earlobe between his teeth, nibbling gently, before he whispered, "I really wish we hadn't put up the wards to prevent anyone from apparating on the grounds."
"If I remember correctly, that was your idea."
"I should have thought it through more carefully."
"Remus?"
Startled by the sound of a voice, Sirius took a step away from Remus and deeper into the shadows while Remus leaned forward to see Violeta where she stood on the back steps in a pool of light from the lanterns. "Violeta."
'There you are," she called to him. "Lily thought you had gone back to your cottage."
"I was just on my way back."
"Oh, would you mind if I walked with you?" She asked as she took a step down onto the grass. "I really wanted to speak with you."
"Actually, I was--"
"Hello, Vi." Sirius stepped out of the shadows and slid his hand over Remus' back before drawing him closer.
"Sirius." Violeta stopped, clearly unsure of herself as she looked from Remus to Sirius and back again. She pushed a strand of hair that had escaped from her ponytail from her eyes and bit at her lip. "Are you--" she began and stopped as she took them in, seeming to answer her own question. "I had hoped…"
"I'm terribly sorry, Vi. I didn't mean to--" Remus started. "Sirius, I'll--"
Sirius nodded and pressed his lips against Remus' forehead before he walked down the path that led to the wood and Remus' cottage. Remus watched him, drawn to him, and was eager to follow, only pulled back to Violeta when she cleared her throat.
"You and Sirius looked very cozy," Violeta said, her voice stiff as she folded her hands in front of her and she held herself straight and still.
"I didn't mean to lead you on."
"You didn't. It was my fault. I read more into your smiles that you clearly meant." She flashed a thinsmile, the line of her lips severe. "I've dated Sirius, you know, as has half the population. I don't want to see you hurt, Remus."
"I'm sure I appreciate your concern, Vi."
"It's only just that he's terribly unreliable."
"I'm sorry you found him such. He's been very kind to me."
"I'm sure, Remus, but in your condition--"
Violeta moved closer, smoothing Remus' collar but Remus stepped out of her reach. "I am sorry if you feel I've led you on. It wasn't my intention."
"I could be good for you," she argued as she curled her fingers into his robe. "We could be good for each other. If you'd only just give me a chance."
"I'm sorry, Vi."
"Please don't do this."
"I don't mean to hurt you, but I never thought of us as more than friends." Remus turned from her, pulled away less gently than he meant to as he started down the path to his cottage--to Sirius. "I am sorry, Vi."
"Do you really think that Sirius Black wants you, a great, dirty werewolf? He wants to fuck you and tell his friends he's had you. He can't love you. He'll never love you."
Remus didn't turn around; he couldn't bear to see her face or to think about the things she'd said. He didn't believe her, not about Sirius. He couldn't, not now that he'd touched Sirius--kissed him. He continued down the path, his cold hands buried deep into his pockets. Ahead, just where the path turned deeper into the wood on the way to his cottage, he saw that Sirius was waiting for him and it was even easier to keep walking.
"I'm sorry, Remus!" Violeta yelled but he kept on, not looking back. "Please understand. Please come back! I don't want it to end like this!"
When Sirius woke, it was late morning and the milky winter sun was high in the sky, spilling in through the window of Remus' bedroom and falling into a shaft on the bed. Sirius stretched like a lazy cat before he tugged a mostly sleeping Remus back into his arms. Remus grunted, burrowing his face into Sirius' neck, and Sirius laughed quietly, his hand reaching beneath the pile of blankets to stroke along Remus' bare skin--down his scarred back and over his waist and hip, until he could curl his fingers around Remus' cock. Sirius kissed Remus' face, his cheeks and eyelids and his lips as Remus hummed out his pleasure, his eyes still closed. He reached for Sirius' cock, too, but Sirius only just batted his hand away, catching his wrists and pushing them into the sheets, pushing his body firmly into Remus'. Remus nudged his cheek, smiling as Sirius rocked against him until he was stuttering out his breaths with tiny, desperate sounds.
"Like this," Sirius muttered as he grazed his teeth against Remus' throat, moving so that their cocks aligned--so that Sirius could fist them both and move until they came together. Sirius collapsed heavily onto Remus, releasing his wrists, and Remus turned to kiss him, to hold him.
They lay like that until Sirius rolled onto his side to lay next to Remus, whispering, "Good morning," just to watch Remus smile again and to see him open his eyes.
'Mmm. Happy Christmas."
"Is is, isn't it? No wonder I got what I wished for."
"Did you?"
"Mmm," Sirius hummed, stroking his hand low across Remus' belly. "Best Christmas morning I've had since I got my first broomstick."
"It is just about perfect," Remus agreed. Sirius watched as Remus closed his eyes again and reached to lace his fingers with Sirius'.
"Just about?"
"I was just thinking how tea would go down a treat."
Sirius barked out a laugh, leaning in to kiss Remus again before he swung his feet onto the floor, the sheets pooling around his waist. "I'll make it and breakfast, too, if you have anything in your cupboards."
"There might be a jar of marmite and some biscuits."
"So you're not going to woo me with your culinary skills, then."
Remus grinned and curled more firmly onto his side around his pillow, his eyes wide open now as he watched Sirius stand and stretch before he tugged on his jeans, leaving them zipped but unbuttoned.
"You stay here and sleep, then. I'll manage," Sirius said and Remus only hummed at him again.
Out in the kitchen, Sirius filled the kettle with water as he sung Christmas carols, feeling ridiculously happy for the first time in an age. He tapped the kettle with his wand once, twice to heat the water to boiling before pouring it over the tea bags he'd found in the cupboard. While they steeped, he wandered the small kitchen finding it devoid of food, even of the promised marmite. He thought maybe he could run up to James' and raid their kitchen while Remus slept, knowing that Lily would likely take pity on them. On the small desk in the corner among the texts and parchments, Sirius found a scrap of paper but no quill to leave a quick note. He opened first one drawer and then another before he found one of those strange Muggle pens and something else--something he never expected to see.
It was a small, silver knife with the letters O.B. elaborately carved along the blade. An S had been added in a rough hand to make the initials read S.O.B.--Sirius Orion Black. As Sirius turned the knife over in his hand, he tried to remember the last time he'd seen it. It'd been years. He’d always thought that Regulus had taken it. A moment later, he heard the floorboards creak behind him, and he turned to find Remus in a pair of faded khakis and an old jumper walking toward him with a slight limp.
"Is your knee all right?"
"Only a little stiff. What did you find?"
Sirius showed him the knife and Remus blushed. "Ah. You dropped that once," Remus said as he came closer.
"Years ago. I had to have been still at Hogwarts when I lost it."
"And I should have given it back. I was sixteen and rather stupidly sentimental, I'm afraid."
"You had a crush on me?" Sirius asked, raising his eyebrows.
"Rather."
"I wish I'd known."
"You should have it back." Remus closed Sirius' hand over the knife and leaned in to press a kiss to Sirius' bare shoulder. "I'm sure it meant something to you, and I was wrong to have kept it."
"You would say that," Sirius said fondly as he flicked open the blade. "It belonged to my father. He didn't so much give it to me as I borrowed it without telling. I found it particularly useful when I was younger, and so I took it from his desk one day."
"Yeah, I--ehm--discovered its usefulness over the years. You should still have it back."
"No… I want you to keep it." Sirius closed the blade and slipped it into Remus' pocket before he settled his hands onto Remus' hips. "Consider it a Christmas gift."
"I thought I’d already been given my gift. Twice."
"We'll get breakfast sorted," Sirius said, grinning against Remus' lips, "and make it a third."
Remus slid his hands down to cup Sirius' arse, to tug him closer as they began to kiss again, when the silvery spectre of James' stag patronus shimmered to life in the kitchen. Sirius shivered at the sight of it, dreading the panicked message even as James' voice filled the kitchen. Remus was already on the move, shoving his shoes onto his feet and grabbing his cloak as Sirius caught up and managed only just an old t-shirt of Remus' and shoes before they were both out the door, wands drawn.
Sirius ran ahead through the woods, finding the door to the house open and the kitchen ransacked.
"James!" Sirius yelled and then again when there was no answer. He found James in the hall, a gash on his head. Sirius collapsed next to him, turning him onto his back and feeling for a pulse. It took him a few minutes to get James to come around and by that time, Remus was there, casting protective spells over the house and calling for Harry and Lily. There was no answer.
"They've gone," James said, his voice breaking. Sirius helped James sit up, to lean against the wall as Remus came back through.
"We've got to get you to St. Mungo's."
"No! I'm fine," James said as he struggled to his feet. "They've taken Harry and Lily."
"Who has? At least sit down, James."
"I can't sit. They're gone. I have to get them back."
"We will," Remus said as he helped Sirius support James and move him into the kitchen. Sirius righted a chair and pressed James into it as Remus pointed his wand at the wound on James' head and said the incantation to staunch the flow of blood. "Did you see who it was?"
"It was Peter with--I don't know, that burly fellow from the Ministry. Carrow. They came through with Violeta."
"Violeta?" Sirius looked over his shoulder to where Remus stood in the doorway, casting another spell as the ground, and watched as Remus faltered for a moment.
"She floo called this morning in tears. She said she wanted to talk to Lily. I was annoyed. It's Christmas, I said, but you know how Lily is. I took Harry out to look at his gifts beneath the tree but I heard a commotion in the kitchen and I went to see. Harry ran ahead of me, and then I don't know. I wasn't prepared, and they were gone before I could draw my wand.
"There's no trace of them on the grounds. They had to have left through the Floo," Remus said. "She must have let them past."
"I was so stupid. I knew she and Peter had been together in school, but it was so long ago. I didn't think she could have anything to do with the Death Eaters. I should have seen."
"You couldn't have known," Remus said from where he knelt by the fire, once again casting an incantation, and Sirius was thankful for his calm. "There's something here."
James was on his feet again immediately, wand drawn, and Sirius caught him as he swayed on his feet. "What is it?"
"A message of some sort. Stand back." Sirius and James watched as Remus awkwardly stood, reaching to steady himself with a hand to Sirius' shoulder. He pointed his wand at the floo, the flame roaring to life, and then the kitchen was filled with the sound of Peter's laughter as they remembered it from years ago but gone slightly high, hysterical. He shook his head, displacing some of the embers before his mouth opened and a message came forth:
The message ended and the fire consumed the image of Peter and then died away, leaving the kitchen cold and silent.
"Scrolls?" James asked, shaking Sirius' hand from his arm. "I don't understand this. What do they want?"
While Peter had spoken, Sirius had watched Remus, seeing how he paled visibly, his hands beginning to shake. Sirius reached for him now but Remus shook his head.
“They want these,” Remus said, and drew out a roll of parchments from inside his robe. He broke the string that held them together and tossed them onto the table. Sirius recognized the one he had seen in Remus' cloak when they'd been at St. Mungo's, and he stepped forward to press it open.
"What are they?" James asked. "Why do they want them?"
"They belonged to my father. He created them." Remus sat in the chair that James had abandoned and watched quietly as James and Sirius bent over the scrolls. There were five all together, faded and smudged in places, the handwriting rushed but thorough. The runes were perfectly formed, and Sirius lined them up along the table, seeing now that they formed a complete spell.
"After I was bitten," Remus continued, "my father was desperate to find a cure. He blamed himself. He discovered this instead--a spell to resurrect the dead and restore a fractured soul."
"He said that you stole them. He meant now," James said. "Gringotts. Grimmauld Place."
"They stole them first. Voldemort was offering a cure to the werewolves in order to gain their support. It was lies, all of it. There's no cure, but my father--" Remus stopped, and cleared his throat, straightened in the chair, struggling to go on. "He wanted to save me. I was all he had left. He was going to trade the spell for their cure but then he found out they were lying, so he broke the parchment into five scrolls and hid them away. By then they knew what it was, what he’d accomplished, and they killed him for it.
"Before he died, he told me what he had done. During the war, I listened for news--discovered that they were hunting for them, too, but Professor Dumbledore told me to wait."
"He knew about them?" Sirius asked.
"I told him everything. When the war ended, he told me what he knew, and I've been searching for them since."
"That's how you knew Regulus had one."
Remus nodded and then looked at the scrolls for a moment. They looked harmless--inconsequential--but Sirius knew from the look on Remus' face how much they had cost him.
"What were you going to do with them?" James asked.
"I was going to destroy them. I had to have all of them before I could--my father had put protective spells on them. I only just got the last."
"At the museum."
"I'm sorry, James. I thought we would be safe. I was invited to be there. They didn't even know what they had."
"Someone did."
"I told Violeta. I didn't know about her and Peter. I never suspected. I wouldn't have put Harry in any kind of danger if I’d only just thought." Remus stood and gathered the scrolls together, using the remnants of the string to tie them back together. "Peter wants me. I'll take the scrolls and trade them for Lily and Harry."
"They'll kill you," James said, and this time when Sirius reached for Remus, he didn't move away.
"I know," Remus said. "But I won't let anything happen to your family, James. I couldn't live with myself."
"There has to be another way. I'm not going to sacrifice you."
"Sirius is right, Remus. I can't let you do that. Besides, they'll use the scrolls to bring Voldemort back. We can't let that happen." James said. "We have to gather the Order together. Dumbledore."
"There isn't time," Sirius said as he looked at the clock.
"Then we'll go together. The three of us," James said as he took the scrolls from Remus. "We'll fight together."
There'd been no time to make a plan. At the edge of James' property, they apparated to the now abandoned village where Peter had grown up, landing in a field just outside of the derelict church where his mother was buried. Snow was just beginning to fall, and Remus tugged his worn traveling cloak more firmly around his shoulders and the hood low over his face. He could see that the churchyard wouldn't offer much protection in a fight. They were walking into a trap and they all knew it. To either side of him stood James and Sirius, tall and handsome in their black robes. James was nearly vibrating with pent up adrenaline, and Sirius took Remus' hand, giving it a squeeze as he offered a grim smile. Remus knew he couldn't let anything happen to either of them. They had no plan, but a small one was beginning to form in Remus' head.
As the church bells began to ring out the hour, startling them all, Sirius squeezed Remus' hand one last time before striding ahead across the field to hide on the other side of the church, meaning to protect them if things went poorly--and they were almost assured that they would. Sirius moved quickly across the yard, and hid himself just as the last bell tolled and silence descended once more. It was then that they heard the pop of apparition as Peter and Violeta arrived in the cemetery.
"James! My old friend," Peter greeted them. He gave a little bow, his smile revealing a mouth full of yellow and decaying teeth. With his arms spread wide, the sleeves of his lurid, grease stained jacket hitched to show three inches of his wrists and the dirty hands below. "I was so worried you wouldn't come, and you've brought a guest."
"Where are they?" James yelled, drawing his wand. "I want to see Lily and Harry."
"Oh they're very near. Only, your boy is so very like you James. He got up to a bit of mischief, like we did at school, do you remember? I'm afraid I've had to lock him up."
"Have you hurt him?"
"Heavens, no. Just like I would have never hurt you, James. Do you remember how close we were? Why, you've visited my mother's grave every year on the anniversary of my death. I owe you so much, James, and I mean to pay you back."
"Just get on with it, Peter," James hissed, raising his wand, and Remus grabbed his arm to stop him from firing off a hex.
"Patience. I've waited seven years for this moment. Where's Sirius? I had hoped he'd come as well."
"He's not here."
"I doubt that. He was always the one you turned to first, wasn't he? Never me. You never quite understood me, did you? You thought I was weak--"
"I didn't, Peter. We were friends."
"You and Sirius were friends--best of friends, nearly brothers--but I loved you best, didn't I? And still it was never Peter Pettigrew that you turned to, until the very end. Until you needed a secret keeper, and even that was a laugh, wasn't it? Stupid, fat P-P-Peter as secret keeper?" Peter smoothed his hands down the lapels of his jacket and rocked back onto his heels. "My Lord Voldemort was very pleased me with that day. He promised me he wouldn't kill you, James, unless you forced him to. He only wanted the boy."
"I want to see him, Peter," James said as he took a step forward.
"Yes, I'm coming to that. You brought the werewolf, I see. Excellent. And the scrolls?"
"I have them," Remus said. "You can take them when Lily and Harry are safe."
"Oh, I think I'll be deciding the order of things here, werewolf. You tricked me once and it won’t happen again. You remember Violeta, of course. Tricked her as well, didn't you?"
"I didn't."
"Oh, she told me all about last night. How she came to you and how you went off with Sirius Black instead. Are you sure he's not here, James?"
"I told you it didn't have to be like this, Remus," Violeta said. "Your life was worth it, I hope."
"Were you going to kill me last night, Vi?"
"I had it planned out very prettily. I would have made it look like you attacked me and that I killed you in self-defense. No one would have blamed me. Lily and Harry wouldn't have to be involved. They would have found you and no one would have known about the scrolls. But now--"
"Now, I'll have the pleasure of killing you myself," Peter said, grinning again. "Do put your wand away, James, and bind him tight. Hands behind the back, I think. That's it; make sure he can't get loose. His wand, too, please."
Remus turned his back to James, holding very still as the thin blue rope lashed his wrists together. James turned him gently by the shoulder and reached inside his robe to take his wand, before he turned back to face Peter. Violeta darted forward and took Remus' wand from James before scurrying off to the side and out of the way. She had her own wand pointed at James, as did Peter.
"And the scrolls as well."
James dug his hand into Remus' robe one last time and came up with the scrolls. He held them up to show to Peter. "I want to see Lily and Harry now."
Peter grinned again and waved his hand toward the top of the church. Remus and James saw that Lily and Harry were trapped in the bell tower with Rodolphus Lestrange keeping watch. "They're quite safe. Rodolphus insisted on coming along once he heard that the werewolf would be here. It seems that Lupin killed his brother some years back as Rabastan was retrieving one of the scrolls. So by rights, it should belong to him, I suppose. If you would be so kind, James, to bring the scrolls and the werewolf to me."
Sirius eased his way into the boarded-up church, being careful to make no noise. Inside, he could see the hulking figure of a man who was rather gleefully smashing small statues against the marble floor. Carrow. Sirius inched down the dark nave toward the altar. The benches had been tossed about and broken to bits, some of them, and Sirius winced as his shoes crushed the plaster that had fallen from the ceiling, the sound loud to his ears. Carrow was too involved in his vandalism to hear, and so it was too late for him to notice when Sirius cast his spell. The full body bind felled him, and Sirius made sure to secure him tightly before he knocked him out. He had only just straightened up when he felt the tip of a wand press into the side of his neck.
"Hello cousin."
Remus looked up and saw Rodulphus, older now but still so very much like Rabastan had been in life, and then, at the church stairs, there was Sirius and the witch, Bellatrix, threatening him at wandpoint. Remus expected to feel fear but found none. Instead, he felt a burning rage--for his father, for James and his family, for himself. He trudged behind James, only just waiting until the scrolls were in Peter's hand and Peter had motioned for Rodulphus to free Lily and Harry and apparate with them into the cemetery before he looked up again, his plan suddenly clear to him.
"There now," Peter said, raising his wand to press it against Remus' chest. "Everything’s the way it should be, right, James? And to show you that I can be merciful as well, take your family and go."
James looked at Remus, and Remus gave him a grim smile and then a slight nod, before he leveled a kinder smile in the direction of Sirius. James returned it, and Remus waited until James stood between Rodulphus and his family before he charged at Peter, ignoring the searing pain in his shoulder as first Peter and then Rodulphus fired a strong stinging hex against him. Remus' momentum caught Peter and they both fell to the ground. James drew his wand and fired back at Rodulphus before Rodulphus could cast another spell, and Sirius launched himself at Bellatrix.
"Go, Lily!" James roared as he ran to Remus' aid. "Take Harry."
Remus heard the pop of apparition once more and rolled to his back, wanting to be sure that Lily and Harry were safe now. Near him, Peter was on one hand and both knees, his free hand cradling a broken nose, the scrolls on the ground just out of his reach. Remus aimed a kick at Peter's ribs and Peter howled in pain, and Remus took his chance to move toward the scrolls before Peter could.
"Accio scrolls!" Violeta screamed, her voice just on the edge of hysteria, and the sheaf of parchments flew into her hand. Seeing they were safe, Peter screeched with laughter and struggled to his feet.
"Sirius!" James shouted as Rodulphus hurled curse after curse at him, pinning him behind a large headstone. Beside the church, Bellatrix and Sirius flung curses at one another. James tried to free Remus from his binds, only just managing it in time for Remus to roll away from another of Peter's hexes.
Ignoring the pain that wracked his body, Remus ran toward Violeta. He had no wand, no hope, but blindly charged ahead, unwilling to let her get away with the scrolls. His fingers curled around her arm as she began to apparate away, and he tugged hard, hearing as if from far away Sirius and James shouting at him, and then he fell to the ground and all went dark.
"You gave us a scare. Again."
"What happened?"
"Splinched yourself good grabbing onto Violeta like that."
"I couldn't let her get away. What about Harry and--"
"They're fine, thanks to you. Again." Sirius pushed Remus' hair from his forehead, staring down hard at him for a moment, biting back more words of concern. "It's not that I mind having the same conversation," he joked instead. "But could we maybe not keep having it at St. Mungo's? I hate hospitals."
"Me, too."
"I haven't decided if what you did back there was incredibly brave or extremely stupid."
"Probably a little of both. What happened?"
"After Lily got away with Harry, she called for help. They arrived in time to capture Bellatrix and Rodulphus."
"And Peter?"
"He disappeared. They're searching for him."
"With the scrolls?"
"No. They're safe with Professor Dumbledore now. He's going to destroy them."
"Good. And Violeta?"
"She didn't make it. Peter killed her in the end."
"I'm sorry."
"I know. I can't forgive her. She wanted you dead, but I knew her at school. She was Lily's friend. I'm sorry for them. For all the pain this war has caused." Sirius cleared his throat and looked away. He was grateful when Remus took his hand.
"Will they let me go home soon, do you think?"
"I should call the nurse."
"In a minute." Remus smiled at Sirius and clutched his hand harder. "I suppose I should find out if I have a home to go back to? And a job."
"Of course you do," Sirius said, and watched as relief crossed Remus' face. He smiled and closed his eyes, leaning back into his pillow. "The Potters want you back, especially Harry."
"A thief and a werewolf?"
"I want you back."
Remus opened his eyes and tilted his head to look at Sirius. "I thought I was going to lose you."
"Not likely. Not ever. Not when I've only just got you."
It barely started as a kiss. Sirius closed his eyes, his mouth pressed only just against Remus' lips. They breathed together, Remus tangling his hands in Sirius' hair and Sirius framing Remus' face with his fingers--touching him tenderly, learning him--until Remus parted his lips to kiss Sirius more gently than he had ever been kissed by anyone before. Sirius sank down onto the bed, into Remus. It was still so new, this thing between them, despite all that they had shared since the night of the party, but everything about it felt right, and if Sirius had ever been sure of anything, it was of this moment.
part 1
part 2
part 3
part 4