Case of You, 5/7

[fox_confessor]

Title: Case of You, Chapter 5
Author: Dani
Fandom: Lotrips
Pairing: Billy/Dom
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: A work of fiction; the recognizable people in the story belong to themselves and have never performed the actions portrayed here. I do not know the actors nor am I associated with them in any way. If you are underage, please do not read this story. I am not making any profit from these stories, nor do I mean any harm.
Notes: see chapter one two three, four


May 2000

It's late morning when Billy finally wakes up. The sun shines brightly through a gap in the curtains, and Billy wishes he had remembered to pull them together before he'd gone to bed. Then he remembered he wasn't in his house, and they weren't his curtains. Yawning, Billy rolls onto his back and stretches his arms over his head, feeling the sheet wrinkling beneath his back. A whole day free from feet and filming; a whole day of nothing but relaxation. He smiles lazily at the ceiling and considers the possibility of starting his day off with a nap. An excuse to stay in bed, perhaps. An excuse to stay in bed with Dominic, definitely.

“What are you grinning about?”

Hearing Dominic’s sleep-bristled voice, Billy turns onto his side and reaches over to rest his hand on Dom’s bare hip. “Nothing, really. Just pleased that it’s--” He raises his head from his pillow to glance at the alarm clock. “Ten forty-two on a Saturday morning, and I’m here in bed with you rather than in feet with you, or stuck in a bog with you or--”

“I’m sensing a theme,” Dominic laughs, sliding his hand up Billy’s arm before he pulls Billy closer to kiss his pale shoulder. “So what are we going to do today?”

“Why do we have to ruin a perfectly good day with doing?”

“Lazy Billy,” Dom mumbles against smooth, warm skin.

“Ah, but lazy’s good.” Billy pulls his shoulder away from Dominic’s lips to get better hold of his attention. “Lazy keeps us in bed.”

“Bed is good,” Dominic leers, rolling closer since Billy is insisting on remaining so far away.

“Bed is grand,” Billy says, concluding what seemed to be one of their rare non-arguments. They lay quietly for a few minutes, and he doesn’t mind at all, as long as Dominic continues to stroke his hand over his back.

And the more comfortable Billy seems to be with that touch, the more certain Dominic is that spending a day in bed might not be such a good idea after all. He's quite sure that it won’t lead to anything more than what they’ve already done, and while nice, what they'ev already done only leaves him wanting more. More than Billy was ready for. Much more.

“We could go round to wineries again. Have lunch in the country,” Dom suddenly says, his hand traveling further down Billy’s back.

“Sounds suspiciously like doing.”

“Gather the lads and go surfing.”

“That’s definitely doing.”

“Doing that requires you in a wet suit,” Dominic says, his grin fading a little as his hand reaches the waist of Billy’s jeans, but he doesn’t let it disappear completely.

Billy laughs, envisioning Dominic in a wet suit and thinking the idea has its merits. “Just full of ideas, aren’t you?”

Dominic nods, wondering just how many more of those ideas he’d reveal, as he leans in for another kiss but in a different place. His favorite place. Taking his time to linger against lips that are quick to respond, something Dominic is still getting used to, he can’t get past the two simple thoughts in his head: his Billy and finally.

Letting Dominic’s body rest heavily against his own, Billy embraces Dominic tightly as they break the kiss. Dominic’s buried his face into the crook of Billy's neck and Billy feels rather than hears a happy sigh. “What exactly did we do last night?”

Dominic tenses, raising his head slightly. Serious questions require diversionary tactics. He lets his hand slide down to Billy’s waist and down onto his denim-clad hip. He wonders just how comfortably Billy could have slept in these jeans. “You don’t remember? Should I explain? Or demonstrate?” One look from Billy tells him that it can’t be avoided. He sighs again, less happy, thoughts of a worry-free day fleeing. He lifts himself from Billy’s body and moves back to his side of the bed, but makes sure to take hold of Billy’s hand first.

“Of course I remember.” Billy doesn’t think he’ll ever forget. Not until the next time, at least. But would it be the same the next time? “You said you loved me.”

“You said you were quite fond of me.”

Billy can hear an unusual nuance in Dominic's voice. Petulance? Pain? “This is hard for me.”

Dominic flattens their palms together before bringing the back of Billy’s hand to his lips, hiding a frown that he can’t avoid. “I know.”

“Do you, Dom? You’re able to do this …” Billy gestures towards Dominic’s nude body, barely covered by the sheet. “… so easily. Every touch. Every kiss. For me, there’s this constant struggle going on. Even though I know, in my heart, that I love you, it’s a constant struggle with myself to show you. I don’t know how to end it, how to not worry about what others--” His explanation that had turned into a soliloquy of sorts is interrupted by a strong bounce of the mattress. Silent, Billy watches Dominic practically sit up, the sheet falling to reveal more as he smiles broadly. “What?”

“You just said that you loved me.”

“Dom,” Billy says quietly, trying to keep his eyes trained on Dominic’s and not on his body. “Did you hear anything--?"

Putting two fingers on Billy’s lips, Dominic leans down to kiss his nose. He isn’t going to let this moment get away from him, no matter what it takes, no matter how much Billy fights him. “Say it again.”

“Dom.” Billy finds it difficult to remember what he’d intended to say in the first place, with Dominic smiling so sweetly, near blushing. It's not often that he’s seen Dominic blush.

“No, not my name. Say it, Billy.”

“C’mon, I'm trying to be serious here,” Billy mutters against the fingers on his lips.

“Say it with me. I.” Dominic can see the exasperation on Billy’s face as he begins to turn his head, but he isn’t going to give up that easily.

Billy frowns when Dominic grabs his chin, forcing him to stay still. “Christ, Dom. This is getting silly.”

“I,” Dominic repeats.

“Oh, fine, then,” Billy sighs. “I.”

Dominic moves his head closer until he can no longer see Billy’s glare. He presses his lips to the softness just below Billy’s ear, letting his tongue touch the skin briefly, before rising up again to see that the frustration has vanished from Billy’s face--just as Dominic had planned. “Love,” he continues.

“Love.”

Dominic smiles, triumphant. “You."

“I do love you, Dom, but-” But Dominic is kissing him again.

***

There was a time when Dominic had gone surfing with Billy and was much more interested in learning the techniques Billy’d picked up so quickly. Then there came a time when he had to start forcing himself to concentrate on that technique for fear of concentrating on other things, like a snug wet-suit on Billy's body. Now he frowns, irritated as Orlando snaps his fingers in front of Dominic’s face before he can continue the thought. “What?”

“Haven’t heard a word I said, Sblom.”

“Uh.” Dominic notices a fourth towel missing from their row. “Where’d Elijah go?”

“Unbelievable. You’ve got it bad.”

“I’ve …” Dominic gives a quick glance to his crotch, just to be sure. “Got it bad? Oh, you mean … yeah.”

“It’s like you’ve never actually done anything with him. I mean, don’t you two get sick of each other?”

“Well, no.” Dominic wonders if keeping his mouth shut about the details is, in a sense, lying. “Uhm, I mean--”

“Never mind, you’re beyond salvageable at this point.” Orlando gets up and grabs his board from the sand. “Keep an eye on me, mate. Going to try an inverted aerial this time.”

“Oh, really? Great! Go for it. Good luck and--” Dominic spots Billy trudging up the beach, and smiles. “Okay, see you Orli!” He pats the space on his towel next to him when he catches Billy’s eye.

“Why is Orlando swearing at you?” Billy asks, laying his surfboard down before he collapses onto his towel next to Dominic.

“Was he?”

“I clearly heard the word ‘wanker,’ among others,”

“Hmm,” Dominic says, watching Billy ruffle the edge of his towel over his face and head. “Tired?”

“Yeah,” Billy says, and notices Dominic gazing at him when he drops the towel.

“Can I kiss you?”

Billy looks around at the other people on beach. “Not here, Dom.”

Dominic nods. It’d been worth a shot. “No problem.”

“I never figured you’d be like this.”

“Like this?” Dominic wonders if he’d really been overdoing it. Maybe Orlando was right. “What’s ‘this’?”

“Just really affectionate. Always pegged you as a cheeky bastard, not a, you know.”

“No, I don’t know, actually.”

It's not been that long since their conversation in bed that morning, and Billy is close to being tired of hearing his own voice. But he can’t help himself as the questions continue to come to him. “Does your family know?”

“Ah, I see where you’re going with this.” And no way to distract Billy this time. Not on a crowded beach, anyway. “Yeah, they know. Not about you, yet. But they know that I like men as well as the ladies.”

“And it was easy?”

“Not with all of my family, but the ones who count still love and accept me.” Dominic watches Billy’s face for a sign of what might have been bothering him, besides the obvious. “Is your sister upset about us?”

Billy looks away, hoping his answer won’t change things between them. “Haven’t told her.”

Dominic frowns, a little disheartened and unsure of where to go with the conversation. If Billy hadn’t yet told the person he was closest to, then he has to wonder if Billy ever will. “Bill-”

“I’m sorry.”

Dominic's stomach drops in fear. From experience, he knows that those particular words said in that tone of voice never lead anywhere good. He tugs Billy over to him, needing to touch him for reassurance. “For what?”

“Making you miserable.”

“You don’t.”

“I must. Constantly doubting us. You. I’m even making myself miserable.”

Knowing that he can’t pull Billy even closer, can’t embrace him, and is already doing enough to make Billy uncomfortable in public, Dominic lets go of Billy’s hand. “Do you want us to be together?” He's somewhat surprised that Billy is still leaning on him.

“I like being with you.”

“Then we’ll work on it. Together.”

Billy rests his head on Dominic’s shoulder, suddenly oblivious to their surroundings. “You want to surf for a bit longer and then we’ll go back to your place?”

“Sounds like a plan.” Dominic slowly sneaks an arm around Billy’s waist. Success.

“Need to stop by my place so I can change clothes.”

“You can wear some of mine.”

“I’ll need to shower.”

“You can shower at my house. I promise not to peek.”

Billy sighs. “Why are you so bloody patient with me?”

“You know the answer to that.”

“If we did break up--”

“Don’t.” Dominic tightens his arm around Billy, trying to go back to the comfort and ease of just a few minutes ago. He wishes he could decipher the code that would keep them there.

“Just this last question and I promise no more today.”

“Last one and you’ll promise to do what I want the rest of the day?”

“What do you mean, what you want?”

“Never mind. Either promise and ask or go catch another wave.”

Billy twists his lips in concentration before answering, “All right. Promise.”

“Ask away.”

“If we did break up, would we still be friends?”

Dominic doesn't need long to answer. “Of course. I would need my best friend’s shoulder to cry on.” He screws up his face and pretends to cry, nuzzling Billy’s shoulder. He feels Billy’s fingers in his hair and settles down, wrapping his other arm around Billy’s waist. “You’re stuck with me.” Then he feels Billy pull away.

“You’re doing a shitty job of keeping this a secret, you know?” Orlando stands in front of them, leaning on his surfboard and smiling. “Not that I mind though. Don’t have to stop on account of me.”

“And you have the worst timing in the world, Orli. D’you know that?”

“Excuse me. What was it you told me on the phone the other day? ‘Just because I'm in a relationship doesn’t mean I’ll abandon my friends?’ was it?”

“Ach, he’s jealous, Dom.”

Laughing with Billy, Dominic gives him a squeeze. “He has a right to be, I suppose.”

“So, do either of you want to go out for drinks tonight, or the both of you, since you’re inseparable.”

Billy looks up at Dominic. “Sounds good to me. How about you?”

It's not a day in bed, nor is it a perfect day in terms of the amount of ‘serious’ talks they’ve had so far, but he’d still spent the day with Billy. And even better, Billy is smiling at him, so Dominic smiles back. “Stuck with me, remember?”

***

Elijah follows Orlando out of the club, keeping his eyes on the back of Orlando's shirt. The place is packed, loud, and insanely crowded--Orlando's choice, Dominic was quick to point out--and when they finally push through the door, Elijah's ears are ringing. He sags against the brick facade of the building while Orlando walks around, stretching his back. "I think I'm done."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. I'm hungry."

Orlando grins and settles next to Elijah against the wall. "I thought you were wanting to go home, like the Monaboyds."

Elijah barks out his laughter and walks to the curb and back. Back at the wall, he leans his shoulder tight against Orlando's. "Monaboyds. They're going to fucking kill you for that."

"That's why we don't say it around Billy."

Elijah nods and begins to pat his pockets, looking for his pack of cigarettes. He knows exactly what Orlando means by not saying anything like that around Billy. Even Dominic doesn't always take things like that as a joke anymore. That they have been able to stay together so long--four months being long in Elijah's experience of Hollywood romance--says a lot to him, and he hates sees the ragged edges that tell him it's less than perfect.

After a few minutes of quiet. Orlando nudges Elijah's arm, his pack of cigarettes held out. Elijah remembers now that that is why they left the club in the first place. "Thanks."

"Can't think about it too much."

"I think it's going to be weird, you know, when they break up."

"If, Elijah. There's still hope. Aren't you Californians supposed to be optimists?"

Elijah nods, then shrugs. In the beginning he'd been fascinated by Billy and Dom's relationship but lately--especially in the last month or so--he's worried about them. Gone are the days of teasing and bantering, and he knows--because Sean's told him--that filming takes its toll, and Elijah knows it. The pace is brutal, but most of them work through it by believing in Peter--by believing that they are making cinematic history. That's great for salvaging a person's professional life, but it's hell on an actor's personal life. Elijah's already been through two relationships--a makeup artist and a local girl. He can't imagine what it's doing to Billy and Dom, who see each other all the time. He says nothing more about it, though, not now. "Did you want to go back inside?"

"I thought you were hungry."

"I was. Am." Orlando's cigarettes taste stale to Elijah, musty. Just the one makes his mouth feel dry, and he coughs a bit as if it's his first ever. Holding it out, he stares at the burning tip, his lip curled into a sneer. He finds he would actually like to go home, but he's too embarrassed to ask--too desperate to have Orlando think he's SoCal cool. He draws in another ragged breath of smoke and lets it sit in his lungs until he can't stand it anymore, blowing it out and waving his hand in front of his face. Feeling like he's earned it, he finally crushes the cigarette beneath his heel. "Let's get some eggs or something. An omelet."

"Sure, man. We'll have whatever." But Orlando doesn't move, waiting until Elijah impatiently begins to pace. "Dom said you didn't go home alone the other night."

"Yeah. Whatever."

"He said it was one of the cameramen."

"I just wanted to see what it felt like." Elijah shrugs and stops in front of Orlando. The guy really hadn't been someone Elijah was interested in. He really had been curious, and now that he felt as though his curiosity was settled, he was impatient again. Even if Billy and Dominic didn't last past six months, they would still have had more than Elijah's been able to find. He was tired of being told to wait--to be patient--so he says nothing else but juts his chin out in challenge, a mannerism he has unconsciously picked up from Dominic.

"You could have come to me for that."

"Right. So you could tell me again that I'm too young."

"I haven't told you that before. You're confusing me with Sean."

"Whatever. I'm hungry."

Orlando reaches out to gently cuff Elijah's ear then drags him hard against his chest by Elijah's neck--holds him there effortlessly. Elijah squirms for a few seconds, trying to pull away, then gives up. "Are you just going to tell me why you're being so pissy with me?"

"I'm not." Elijah squirms again, trying to loosen his head then drops his arms.

"Did it hurt? Are you scarred for life?"

"No. I mean, yes. By the smell of you. Vegetarians use deodorant, you know."

Orlando ignores the comment. "Did he call the day after?"

"I didn't want him too. Anyway, he's already left for the South Island. I told you, I just wanted to see what it felt like."

"So tell me what it felt like."

"No." Elijah finally pulls his head out of the lock of Orlando's arms and swats at him. Elijah's hair is sticking up and he makes an effort to smooth it before straightening his clothes. "It was just a blow job, anyway. He was fucking huge."

"Did he bring his camera?"

"Wanker." The syllables of the insult fall flat with Elijah's accent, sounding hard, breaking over the k. Orlando cringes and Elijah says it again just to annoy him. "Wank-er. And no. I still want to try it." Elijah bites at his thumbnail, tearing off a ragged edge. He can't believe he's not catching hell for not being able to say what it he's talking about. "I want it to be with someone I know. Like, I mean. I don't want it to be random."

"Fair enough."

When Elijah finally dares to look up at him, Orlando looks relieved. He remembers back to when they had first kissed--the same night that Billy and Dominic had first kissed. They've kissed a dozen times since then--Orlando really did like to kiss, considered it almost a team sport--but for Elijah nothing had compared to that first night. He'd be lying if he said he didn't find Orlando attractive, but he worried again that it was just homesickness--blind need for companionship. Curiosity. He wonders if it is all those things for Billy with Dominic. He hopes not. "I'm hungry."

"Right. Is that American for I don't want to talk about this anymore."

"Do you think Fidel's has closed the kitchen yet?"

Orlando eyes Elijah for a long moment and Elijah carefully wipes his face clear of any particular expression, something he was learning from Billy. Orlando reaches for Elijah but gently now, pulling him close for a hug and a smacking kiss to his cheek. "If they have, we'll stop for pastries somewhere."

At the end of the night, in his own bed, Elijah thinks about that first kiss again. In Hollywood, no one stays together for long. Everybody is moving off, going for other projects. There's too much distance, too much money, and too much time. He wants New Zealand to be different, but he knows that it can't last. Forcing his thoughts from Orlando, he hopes that Billy and Dom can find a way to be different, too.

***

“D’yeh like that song, Dommie?”

“What song?”

Billy begins to hum the first lines of "Strawberry Fields Foreveer" as Dominic staggers a bit under Billy’s weight, maneuvering them both up the walk towards his house. “It’s my favorite Beatles song.”

“I thought 'Lady Madonna' was your favorite.”

“Not when I’m drunk. When I’m drunk, it’s 'Strawberry Fields.'"

“I’m glad we’ve cleared up that misconception, then. Here. Lean against the wall.” Pulling his keys out of his pocket, Dominic sorts out the right one and slided it into the lock. Billy's knees seem to give and he sways heavily against Dominic's body, and the key drops to the doorstep with a faint clink as Dominic turns to catch him. Grumbling, he struggles to retrieve the key and keep Billy on his feet at the same time. “C’mon, Billy. Stand up.”

Billy smiles drunkenly and places a wet kiss on Dominic’s cheek. “You, Dominic Monaghan, are my boyfriend.”

“You’re completely pissed, you know that, right?” Dominic smiles back, pulling Billy up by his shoulders while working the key in the lock. Finally swinging the door open, Dominic pulls Billy inside. “Can’t believe I'm the more sober one, for once. And you probably won’t even remember any of this.” Walking towards his bedroom, he feels Billy’s heavy breath on his neck. “Time to put you to bed.”

“Finally taking me to bed. About time.”

“To sleep,” Dominic clarifies, for the both of them. He steers Billy towards the bedroom door and through it. Once they're at the bed, he let Billy fall onto it and kneels down to pull his shoes off. “I wonder how many times you’ve done this for me.”

“Loads. The fucking knots you tie on your trainers are impossible, you know that.”

Chuckling, Dominic pulls Billy back onto his feet and begins to unbutton his shirt.

“You’re going to hate me one day.”

Dominic’s hand stills on the buttons. “No.”

“You are. You’re not going to be able to stand the sight of me.” The blurriness clearing from his eyes, Billy pushes away Dominic's hands. One empty sleeve hangs down and he raises his hand as if seeing it for the first time. Dropping it back to his side, he looks Dominic straight in the eyes. “I love you, Dominic Monaghan, and it scares the hell out of me.”

Surprised, Dominic reaches his hand out to touch Billy’s cheek. “I love you too, Billy.” Taking a step closer, he rests their foreheads together. He can smell the sweet, warm scent of wine on Billy's breath--like summertime.

Billy presses a kiss to Dominic’s lips before kissing a path to his ear. Suckling lightly at the lobe, he whispers, “So why don’t you fuck me?”

Dominic puts his hands on Billy’s hips, pulling him closer and kissing him back. He wants to, very much, and for a moment even considers it. “No.”

“Please, Dom.” Billy reaches down and cups Dominic through his jeans. Feeling the immediate response, Billy kisses him again while pushing and pulling them both towards the bed.

Dominic puts his hands on Billy’s shoulders, resisting. He squeezes his eyes shut, struggling not to look at Billy’s lust-darkened eyes and kiss-reddened lips. He takes a deep breath and exhales it shakily. “No, Billy.”

“Why?” Billy demands, lightly kissing the corner of Dominic’s mouth. “You don’t want me?”

“You know I do. Stop trying to tempt me.”

Billy kisses him again, shrugging off Dominic’s hands and pushing their bodies flush together. “I want you to fuck me.”

Dominic grabs Billy’s wrists and twists them away and back, leaning in to kiss him before he drags himself away. “Stop it.” He tries to sound stern but it comes out in a breathy kind of whisper, his control slipping away. He knows that if he opens his eyes and sees Billy looking at him exactly the way he’s wished for, that his control will abandon him completely.

“Why?”

“Because you’re drunk and you’ll regret it afterwards.”

“No. I want this.” Billy attempts to pull his hands away from the bind of Dominic's, his voice sounding petulant in his drunkenness. He's too drunk to make much progress though and gives up by sinking back onto the bed. “I just want this to feel real.”

“It is real.” Dominic shakes Billy a bit, feeling ragged and a bit desperate. He pushes Billy onto his back, gathering up his legs and flipping them onto the bed. Billy doesn't move, just looks up at him through half masted eyes. It's hard to tell if Billy will even remember any of this in the morning, much less regret it. After a moment, Dominic begins to take off his shirt. "I'm going to get you some water. You're going to hate life in the morning."

"There's no feet."

"No. Lucky for you."

"I can hold my drink."

"Right." Dominic shucks his jeans and kicks them into a pile.

"Lay down with me for a bit, Dominic. Tell me everything's going to be okay."

Dominic sits on the edge of the bed and holds his head between his hands. Billy is rubbing at his back, humming beneath his breath. "Poor Dommie," he whispers between choruses. "You deserve better."

"There's no one better, Billy."

"You could just fuck me now."

"Shut it."

"Right. Poor virgin Billy. Poor Dommie."

"Go to sleep, Billy."

"Not until you say it. Not until you promise."

Dominic rolls over to lay on his side next to Billy. "Everything's going to be okay, Billy."

"Liar," Billy answers immediately and begins to cackle--a sound that pitches wildly high for a moment, threatening to capsize them both before Billy wheezes for breath. "I'm sorry, Dom."

"I know." Dominic hugs Billy to him tightly but it feels different now, colder. Billy's first snore startles him but then Dominic pushes Billy onto his side so that Billy's back is against Dominic's chest then he wishes he had turned out the light first. He doesn't want to get up now but knows he will in a bit. He can't sleep when it's so bright, and a part of him wonders if he'll sleep at all tonight, however dark he can turn the room.