(no subject)

Ever wake up one day to discover that your entire life seems...I don't know. Switched about somehow. Shifted, like nothing is stable beneath my feet, which I suppose is the cumulative result of this year's changes, challenges, and problems. It doesn't mean I liked it (it being the stuff that happened earlier in the year and the stuff that's going on now). It's making my heart hurt and I don't know how to fix it or even how to talk about it, though I just had a good 12 hours to think about it.

The good news is that I'm home from vacation. It's 5:30 in the morning and I haven't been to bed yet. It seems like a bad idea at this point. My back officially HATES trains now (it always has but this is open revolt). We (my mom and I) had a really good time. I only went really moody once (Thursday night, but then I tend to do that at the end of trips). I suspect the lack of sleep will make me quite moody today, too. I'm predicting tears.

Of course, there's too much to do for tears. I need to unpack and do laundry and pick up kittens, who are no doubt traumatized by not having their own beds and their own spots in the sunshine (and their own humans to boss about). I also have to manage Christmas though I'm not in the mood at all and I don't know what to do about it (gifts and such, my mood is apparently a lost cause). This year, man. I will be glad to see the end of it, though of course there's still a dentist appointment first thing Monday morning to get a crown put on and my mom's surgery on Friday and ... Anyway. I'm just putting it out to the universe that nothing bad should happen in 2014 as I had my fill this year. I just... stop, you know?

I need a plan to get through this weekend, and it will definitely begin with breakfast at Panera's.