Jul. 20th, 2010 10:17 am
Fic: These Four Kings (Year Three 1/4)
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fox_confessorTitle: These Four Kings (Year Three 1/4)
Author: Dani (![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
escribo)
Word Count: 4129
Rating: PG
(Pairings: in the future will be remus/sirius, lily/james)
Timeline: October 27, 1973
Summary: Lily doesn't like anyone, most especially not boys, of all things.
Disclaimer: All Harry Potter characters are the property of J.K. Rowling and Bloomsbury/Scholastic. No copyright infringement is intended. I've not made nor seek any profit.
Year 1: one/ two/ three/ four/ five/ six/ seven
Year 2: one/ two/ three/ four
"Which one do you like, Lily?"
"Which one of what?"
Sabine rolled her eyes and tilted her head toward where the Gryffindor third year boys stood huddled together, apparently deep in conversation. At least, James and Sirius had their heads together, arguing it seemed, with James waving his arms about and Sirius scowling back at him. Whatever was happening, Lily suspected it would mean trouble, and she huffed a little in spite of herself. Remus would look up just then and gave her a half-smile, shrugging his shoulders a bit as if to say he didn't know what it was about either. Lily grinned back at him before she remembered she was supposed to be not interested in them, any of them, even Remus.
"It has to be Sirius," Sabine was saying when Lily turned her attention back to her friends, and Alice nodded in agreement. Lily had always thought Alice had more sense than that, and she turned her back on both the boys and the conversation, unwilling to be dragged into it. This was their first weekend into Hogsmeade and she didn’t mean to have it ruined by James Potter and Sirius Black managing to make something explode before they'd even left the gates of Hogwarts.
"I like James," Iana said, and Lily huffed again. She'd never thought that Iana had any sense when it came to boys, but Iana only laughed at Lily and pushed her thick braid over her shoulder. Sabine and Alice twisted in line to watch the boys again and Lily didn't mean to, she really didn't, but her eyes were drawn to them too as they passed a folded sheet of parchment between them--one of their permission slips, it looked like--while James still gestured wildly toward the castle.
"He's funny," Iana added. "He's always good for a laugh, and he let me take a turn at his broom when the other boys wouldn't."
"I suppose you thought it was funny when he used a Gemino curse on Sev's wand. It took him hours to sort out which was his."
"It was a bit, Lily. Besides, James just did it for a laugh, not like when Snape cast a trip jinx on me last month when I came out ahead of him on the Potions practical."
"I don't think he did it on purpose, Iana. He said it was an accident."
"But he didn't apologize, did he?"
Iana swept her dark hair from her eyes when Lily didn't answer, and Lily didn't say anything else. Couldn't. Severus hadn't apologized, even after Lily had reminded him twice. They all shuffled forward a bit in line, closer to their turn at having Professor McGonagall inspect their permission slips before handing them over to Mr. Filch, and then they would be allowed to pass through the gates and walk down to Hogsmeade.
Lily was excited to see the all-Wizarding village. She never felt as if she got to spend enough time in Diagon Alley when she went with her parents and Petunia to pick up her school supplies, and she didn't want anything to ruin what could be a perfect day. She turned again to look where the boys were still arguing, the gap between them wider now because the boys weren't paying attention. James was still pointing back to the castle and Sirius had his hands on his hips, looking off into the distance very much like someone who had just lost an argument he hadn’t been much keen on having in the first place.
"C'mon, Lil. You never answered." Sabine slipped her arm through Lily's and whispered just loud enough for the other girls to hear. Lily was amazed that she could actually remember a time when Sabine wasn't completely boy crazy and they used to play games and talk about things that didn't end in who do you like?. "If you had to choose one. One of the four or Azkaban."
"I can’t imagine how that would come up."
"Pretend! If you had to choose one of them to kiss, which would it be?"
"I wouldn’t kiss any of them!"
"Just play along, Lily. She’ll never let up, you know she won’t." Alice laughed out loud, her red knit beret slipping down over her eyebrow, and she tugged on Lily’s hand. "Kiss, marry, throw off a cliff."
"I'd throw them all off a cliff," Lily said but couldn’t resist grinning back at Alice.
"Even Remus?"
"No, not Remus."
"So, you like Remus."
"I didn't say that."
"I'd kiss James," Sabine said. "Marry Remus, and throw Peter off a cliff."
"What about Sirius," Zoe asked.
"What wouldn't I do with Sirius?"
"Sabine!" Lily's cheeks went red as she looked at Sabine in shock. Sabine only giggled, looking over her shoulder at Sirius. He looked up just then and caught them staring. He nudged James with his shoulder, and then to Lily's horror, all four boys were looking at them, which sent Iana, Alice, Zoe, and Sabine into another round of giggles. They were all boy crazy, Lily realized--knew, actually, but it worried her to think about it because maybe it meant there was something wrong with her. Even Petunia's increasingly infrequent letters were filled only with news of this boy or that.
Lily looked away, thankful that they were next to hand over their permission slips and the proximity to Professor McGonagall seemed to sober the other girls a bit. It was then that Lily noticed Severus was waiting for her on the other side of the gate, having already passed through. He looked stiff and awkward in his school robes when almost everyone else was wearing flared jeans, t-shirts and jumpers. He was staring at her, his scowl almost as dark as Sirius' had been, though his lips twitched into something resembling a smile when she waved. After handing over her permission slip, Lily started to call out to Severus but Sabine slipped her arm through Lily’s again and pulled her back.
"I'd throw him off a cliff, too."
"Don't, Sabine. He can hear you."
"Good. You know he added too many chopped newt eggs to my cauldron in Potions yesterday. Made it boil over and I had points deducted, didn't I."
"He didn't mean to. He was trying to help, and besides, it would have boiled over anyway because you had stirred it wrong. You'd gone anti-clockwise instead of--"
"Oh, I don’t care, Lily. I didn’t want his help, is the point. Sirius was just about to come over and then there was Snape in the way, as usual."
"So that's it. You're mad because Black didn't help you."
"Not just, but he would have if Snape hadn't butted in. Besides, you know he called Alice a--"
"Don’t repeat it! He didn't, anyway. Theo Avery did."
"But he didn't say anything to stop it, did he? Just stood there." Alice, Zoe, and Iana had joined them now, listening as Sabine warmed to her topic. "And what about what happened to Ben Goran? That was definitely Severus, and he's always being rude to Remus, Snape is, even though it's James and Sirius who prank him."
Lily didn't say anything--couldn't. Severus had promised to apologize to Ben after hexing him in the library. The Ravenclaw had only been trying to help Lily study for Charms, after all, and it wasn't flirting, of all things, and Lily really hated that even Severus thought that boys and girls couldn't just be friends. They were only thirteen (going on fourteen), for goodness sake, and Lily couldn't understand what the hurry was. She also couldn't deny that Severus was really rude to Remus. Sabine was right, it was James and Sirius who played pranks and acted like idiots, not Remus, who was unfailingly kind to everyone. She really couldn't see why Remus was even friends with the other boys since he was so different from them.
The girls finally stepped away from Professor McGonagall and Lily shook her head, not wanting to think about it all anymore. She just wanted to go to Hogsmeade and not argue about Severus or speculate about who liked who. She turned toward her friends, ready to herd them all through the gates.
"Wait for me, Lily!" Zoe called as she began to race back toward the castle. "I forgot my bag. It's on my bed. I won't be a minute."
Lily nodded, stopping to wait with the other girls, and her eyes fell on the Gryffindor boys as they were handing over their permission slips and Professor McGonagall began to scrutinize them closely and lecture them about their behavior whilst off campus.
"We're going to the Shrieking Shack first," Iana called out, smiling at James when he looked up. "You could come with if you'd like."
The boys looked at each other as if she'd asked them to go to the moon, and Lily noticed that Remus even paled visibly. She wondered if maybe he was afraid of the stories they'd heard of a particularly violent haunting. She could only imagine what James and Sirius had come up with, no doubt designed to scare the boys in the younger years.
"All four of you could come, of course," Iana added, blushing a bit now when the boys just continued to stare.
"I can't go at all," Sirius finally said, stepping away from the other boys as they stood crowding around Professor McGonagall. "My mum said she'd only send my signed permission slip if I didn’t get detention the whole first quarter."
"Maybe Professor McGonagall--"
"Don't even finish that sentence, Mr. Pettigrew. No signed permission slip, no Hogsmeade."
"But it wasn't even Sirius' fault. He just took the blame for it, is all," James said, giving Professor McGonagall his most winning smile. Lily laughed quietly into her hand, knowing it never worked on Professor McGonagall but finding it funny that he always tried anyway. When she caught herself laughing, she huffed for the third time, remembering too late that she didn't find James Potter the least bit funny.
"If you had a hand in teaching Mr. Filch's mops and brooms to dance, Mr. Potter."
"I didn't!"
"They've never been the same since," Mr. Filch whinged, shaking his head at the loss.
"Please do feel free to unburden your conscience. I'm sure I could find a suitable punishment for--"
"Really, I didn't!" James stepped up quickly and handed over his signed permission slip and then hurriedly slid through the gates to where the girls stood. He grinned back at the boys and wiped his hand across his brow as if he'd already run all the way to Hogsmeade and back. Peter immediately followed, keeping his eyes down so that Professor McGonagall wouldn't think he had been involved at all, Lily suspected. Then there was Remus, who handed over his permission slip but stepped out of line, away from Professor McGonagall, to stand next to Sirius.
"You may go into the village, Mr. Lupin," Professor McGonagall called to him. "Your permission slip is in order."
As Lily watched, Sirius put his hand on Remus' back and gave him a little push toward James, but Remus just dug his heels in and shook his head.
"Go on, Remus," Sirius said. "You don't have to stay with me."
"It's not fair if I go and you have to stay. It was my fault you had detention," Remus whispered so that Professor McGonagall couldn't hear but Lily was standing just close enough as she waited for Zoe. "Besides, I didn't really want to go anyway. I don't want to see the Shack."
"You don't have to. I'll tell James not to make you go."
"You know he'll want to." Remus and Sirius both looked up when James called out, C'mon Lupin, and Lily watched as Remus twisted his fingers in a nervous gesture. "Besides, I was saving my pocket money to buy a chess set for my dad for Christmas. It'll take everything I have to get him something nice."
"I told you I'd give you some for today," Sirius whispered to Remus who was shaking his head. Sirius gave a small huff of his own before he looked up again, this time catching Lily watching them. "What are you looking at, Evans?"
"Nothing."
"Spying on us, like your boyfriend, Snivellus."
"He's not my boyfriend, and don't call him that."
"Still spying."
"I wasn't. I couldn't help but overhear though. I'm sorry, but I don't really want to see the Shack, either, Remus," Lily lied. She took a step forward, smiling at him and ignoring Sirius. She reached out to tug on his jacket sleeve. "We could walk down to the village together instead and see the owlery."
Lily was taken aback when Sirius brushed her hand away as he stepped in front of Remus, pushing him back and looking down at Lily with disdain.
"He's not going at all, he said," Sirius said, his voice gone cold. "We've other things to do than look at ruddy owls."
Lily took another step back, looking from Sirius's scowl to where Remus looked at her over Sirius' shoulder with wide eyes, but Remus said nothing. For a moment, Lily was worried that Sirius might actually try to hex her, and she considered calling out to Professor McGonagall, who was busy with a group of Slytherins, some who were in second year, Lily was sure, but then Remus seemed to sense it, too, and pulled hard on Sirius' arm.
"Let's just go back up to the castle," Remus whispered, and Sirius nodded once, and then looked past Lily as if she was no longer there, as if she no longer mattered.
"Go on, James," Sirius said. "And don't forget to bring me back the thing you promised."
"I won't."
Lily finally turned away and nearly into James, and she wondered when he had come back so close. He grinned at her and she huffed again, really wishing she'd quit it because it reminded her terribly of her mother and Petunia when they'd get angry, and she wasn't angry. At least, she wasn't angry now.
"We could still go to the owlery," James said, his eyes flashing behind his glasses, and if Lily didn't know better, she'd say he was trying to make her huff again. Lily didn't; she only turned and walked back to stand with her friends, wondering what was taking Zoe so long. Looking back up to the castle, she watched as James and Peter finally left, waving to the girls on their way out the gate, and then Remus and Sirius walking back toward the castle, Remus steering Sirius away from the Slytherins, and finally Zoe as she came running toward them.
Severus was still waiting for her, she found, and she smiled at him again though this time his scowl remained. She let her friends move past and walked slowly enough that they couldn't hear her when she greeted him.
"Isn't Loony Lupin allowed out without Sirius Black to hold his hand?"
"Don't, Severus."
"It's what he is."
"And I suppose I'm--"
"Of course not," Severus said, cutting Lily off before she could toss out the insult she knew he must have heard his friends call her before.
"It's what you called Alice."
"I said I was sorry for that."
"You told me you were sorry, not Alice."
"I'm not friends with Alice."
"That doesn't matter, Sev. It was an awful thing to say, just like calling Remus names. He's never anything but nice."
"To you, perhaps. Of course, he would be, wouldn't he."
"What do you mean?"
"You know what I mean, and I don't like it."
"I don't know. Remus and I are friends, Sev, like you and me."
"Like you and me," he mocked and Lily stopped them both on the path with a hand to his shoulder.
"What exactly are you on about, Severus?"
"Remus Lupin fancies you, is what I'm on about, and you--"
"Stop. He doesn't, and before you start on about anything else, I don't fancy anyone either. It's ridiculous, and I'm tired of all this talk about who I do or don't like." Severus looked down at his hands, his face carefully blank, and Lily felt suddenly tremendously sorry for him. "Will you come with us today?"
"They won't want me to."
"I'd like you to."
"Then let us just go together."
"I promised the girls." Lily knew it was the wrong thing to say. He had clearly heard her when she offered to go alone to the owlery with Remus and she watched as hope fled his face, the line of his mouth hardening. He looked up the road and so did she, seeing that the group of Slytherins were coming through the gate, their numbers diminished since Professor McGonagall had sent the second years scampering back up to the castle.
"Never mind," he said, walking backwards, and for a moment Lily was torn but said nothing to stop him, only just turned and ran to catch up with the other girls.
Later, when it was finally just Lily and her friends, the day was better. For a while, Sabine and Iana had giggled over boys, replaying the things James had said, the way Sirius' hair had fallen just so into his gray eyes. By the time they'd reached the village, they both agreed it would be better to be poor and in love--because it was romantic--than to be rich, and so Remus had featured briefly in their gigglings. After that, there had been too much to see and do to worry about boys, and Lily had been relieved.
It was nearly dinner when the girls finally stumbled back into the Gryffindor common room, and by then, Lily had all but forgotten everything except her new quills, her bag from Honeydukes, and the puffskein that was humming contentedly in her jumper pocket. By the fire, she spotted Sirius and Remus playing chess, and for a moment she watched as Remus' fingers twitched above his pieces as though he might move them like Muggle chess. Sirius sat on the floor at his feet, leaning against the couch where Remus sat with the chessboard, and Lily wondered if maybe he'd forgotten about this morning, too.
Slipping her hand into her pocket, she stroked her finger over the soft fur of the puffskein. She hated that they couldn't all just be friends because of this strange thing with Severus. She hated more that maybe Remus thought that she was like Severus, or worse, like the other girls. She didn't want things to get weird, didn't want things to change. She'd had enough of that with Petunia.
After a moment, Lily reminded herself that she was a Gryffindor--more brawn that brains, the Slytherins said, but who were they to know. It was courage that Gryffindors shared, and she refused to be cowed by a thirteen-year-old boy who thought he ruled the world. Ignoring Sirius and thoughts of Severus, Lily pushed back her shoulders and walked over to Remus, grinning at him when he looked up.
"Hogsmeade was loads of fun. You really should have come. I brought you back a chocolate frog, though." Lily dug into her bag and offered him a the slightly rumpled chocolate, hoping it hadn't been crushed too badly. She was glad she had when Remus' eyes lit up all bright and he grinned at her, a dimple creasing one cheek.
"Thanks, Lily."
"It's your go, Remus," Sirius said, tapping the chessboard with his finger to get Remus' attention again.
"I asked Professor McGonagall, and she said the next Hogsmeade weekend would be in early December. Will you go with us then?" Lily wasn't sure why she asked or why the answer was important to her, but she had both boys' attention now, and she could suddenly see why Sabine liked Sirius. He was very good looking in a way that was different from anyone else at Hogwarts. Where Remus felt safe, Sirius was all dangerously sharp edges. Even at just barely fourteen, he'd already lost all the baby roundness that made all the other boys their age look younger than they were. He had high cheekbones and a strong chin, a fine, straight nose, like a movie star, and she blushed when he cut his eyes at her but steadfastly continued to smile at Remus though she felt a little like running away.
"I don't know, Lily. I mean, I do want to go. I want to get my dad--"
"A chess set. I overheard earlier; I'm sorry!" Lily covered her face with her hands and laughed, peeking out to look at Remus between her fingers, grinning when he grinned at her first. "There were a bunch in Dervish & Banges, some really beautiful ones. Is your dad a wizard?"
"Of course he is," Sirius said even as he tugged on Remus' sleeve this time. "It's still your go."
"He teaches history in a Muggle school, though. He didn't always but..." Remus let his thoughts trail off, turning his attention back to the game. When he spoke again, it was to Sirius. "He's really smart, my dad. He could have been anything, but he likes being home summers with me, he said."
"What did he do before?" Sirius asked.
"I don't know. He's never said," Remus said quietly, his eyes going to Lily before he looked back down at the chessboard. "It's like the magic thing."
Sirius flicked his gaze up to Lily, his mouth twisted to the side. "C'mon, Remus. Your go. Your knights are plotting something."
"That's because it's your set. They're always plotting something."
"You could use James' next time."
"His won't mind me."
"They won't mind me, either. I think he's charmed them." Sirius prodded his queen with a sharp finger to her back. "Are you still here, Evans?"
Lily felt her cheeks go suddenly hot and she took a step back, again straight into James.
"Don't mind Black. He can't help he has no manners. It's his family; they're all raving lunatics." James smiled crookedly at Lily, and Lily felt her blush deepen. "It's quite sad, really. We only let him out today because Lupin promised to babysit him."
"Shove off, Potter." Sirius kicked at James' ankle and James kicked back before launching himself for a full assault, knocking over the chessboard and sending the pieces flying. In a moment, he had Sirius in a headlock and pulled Remus down on top of them both, making them all laugh in a tangle of arms and legs.
"James Potter, you are completely--" James raised up on to his elbows expectantly and Lily narrowed her eyes at him and stomped her foot. "Ridiculous."
Lily turned to find Peter standing behind her, his eyes big and a half eaten apple in his hand. Alice stood waiting for her at the portrait, hiding her own smile behind her hand.
"Wait, Evans. We'll go down to dinner with you," James called, trying to extricate himself from the pile of boys but Sirius had hold of his arms and pinned them behind his back.
"No thank you."
"She's in a right strop" Peter said in a fake, loud whisper that sent the boys into another round of laughter.
"I'm not mad," Lily said as she walked away. "I'm not."
Lily wasn't five steps away when she overhead Peter as he said, "Zoe told me that Lily likes Remus."
"When?" James asked, his voice strangely casual as if he couldn't care less for the answer even as he seemed too interested, too curious. Lily couldn't resist looking back then, only to see James sprawled out on the floor, still propping himself up on his elbows while Sirius kneeled next to Remus, pushing his hair from his eyes.
"When you went back into Zonko's to get more dungbombs. Do you like her back, Remus?"
"Of course he doesn't,” Sirius said, sounding a bit triumphant, but Lily couldn't help but notice how Remus' cheeks burned redder than her own. For the first time, she felt a strange flutter in her stomach and she smiled when Alice slipped her arm through Lily's.
next
Author: Dani (
escribo)Word Count: 4129
Rating: PG
(Pairings: in the future will be remus/sirius, lily/james)
Timeline: October 27, 1973
Summary: Lily doesn't like anyone, most especially not boys, of all things.
Disclaimer: All Harry Potter characters are the property of J.K. Rowling and Bloomsbury/Scholastic. No copyright infringement is intended. I've not made nor seek any profit.
Year 1: one/ two/ three/ four/ five/ six/ seven
Year 2: one/ two/ three/ four
"Which one do you like, Lily?"
"Which one of what?"
Sabine rolled her eyes and tilted her head toward where the Gryffindor third year boys stood huddled together, apparently deep in conversation. At least, James and Sirius had their heads together, arguing it seemed, with James waving his arms about and Sirius scowling back at him. Whatever was happening, Lily suspected it would mean trouble, and she huffed a little in spite of herself. Remus would look up just then and gave her a half-smile, shrugging his shoulders a bit as if to say he didn't know what it was about either. Lily grinned back at him before she remembered she was supposed to be not interested in them, any of them, even Remus.
"It has to be Sirius," Sabine was saying when Lily turned her attention back to her friends, and Alice nodded in agreement. Lily had always thought Alice had more sense than that, and she turned her back on both the boys and the conversation, unwilling to be dragged into it. This was their first weekend into Hogsmeade and she didn’t mean to have it ruined by James Potter and Sirius Black managing to make something explode before they'd even left the gates of Hogwarts.
"I like James," Iana said, and Lily huffed again. She'd never thought that Iana had any sense when it came to boys, but Iana only laughed at Lily and pushed her thick braid over her shoulder. Sabine and Alice twisted in line to watch the boys again and Lily didn't mean to, she really didn't, but her eyes were drawn to them too as they passed a folded sheet of parchment between them--one of their permission slips, it looked like--while James still gestured wildly toward the castle.
"He's funny," Iana added. "He's always good for a laugh, and he let me take a turn at his broom when the other boys wouldn't."
"I suppose you thought it was funny when he used a Gemino curse on Sev's wand. It took him hours to sort out which was his."
"It was a bit, Lily. Besides, James just did it for a laugh, not like when Snape cast a trip jinx on me last month when I came out ahead of him on the Potions practical."
"I don't think he did it on purpose, Iana. He said it was an accident."
"But he didn't apologize, did he?"
Iana swept her dark hair from her eyes when Lily didn't answer, and Lily didn't say anything else. Couldn't. Severus hadn't apologized, even after Lily had reminded him twice. They all shuffled forward a bit in line, closer to their turn at having Professor McGonagall inspect their permission slips before handing them over to Mr. Filch, and then they would be allowed to pass through the gates and walk down to Hogsmeade.
Lily was excited to see the all-Wizarding village. She never felt as if she got to spend enough time in Diagon Alley when she went with her parents and Petunia to pick up her school supplies, and she didn't want anything to ruin what could be a perfect day. She turned again to look where the boys were still arguing, the gap between them wider now because the boys weren't paying attention. James was still pointing back to the castle and Sirius had his hands on his hips, looking off into the distance very much like someone who had just lost an argument he hadn’t been much keen on having in the first place.
"C'mon, Lil. You never answered." Sabine slipped her arm through Lily's and whispered just loud enough for the other girls to hear. Lily was amazed that she could actually remember a time when Sabine wasn't completely boy crazy and they used to play games and talk about things that didn't end in who do you like?. "If you had to choose one. One of the four or Azkaban."
"I can’t imagine how that would come up."
"Pretend! If you had to choose one of them to kiss, which would it be?"
"I wouldn’t kiss any of them!"
"Just play along, Lily. She’ll never let up, you know she won’t." Alice laughed out loud, her red knit beret slipping down over her eyebrow, and she tugged on Lily’s hand. "Kiss, marry, throw off a cliff."
"I'd throw them all off a cliff," Lily said but couldn’t resist grinning back at Alice.
"Even Remus?"
"No, not Remus."
"So, you like Remus."
"I didn't say that."
"I'd kiss James," Sabine said. "Marry Remus, and throw Peter off a cliff."
"What about Sirius," Zoe asked.
"What wouldn't I do with Sirius?"
"Sabine!" Lily's cheeks went red as she looked at Sabine in shock. Sabine only giggled, looking over her shoulder at Sirius. He looked up just then and caught them staring. He nudged James with his shoulder, and then to Lily's horror, all four boys were looking at them, which sent Iana, Alice, Zoe, and Sabine into another round of giggles. They were all boy crazy, Lily realized--knew, actually, but it worried her to think about it because maybe it meant there was something wrong with her. Even Petunia's increasingly infrequent letters were filled only with news of this boy or that.
Lily looked away, thankful that they were next to hand over their permission slips and the proximity to Professor McGonagall seemed to sober the other girls a bit. It was then that Lily noticed Severus was waiting for her on the other side of the gate, having already passed through. He looked stiff and awkward in his school robes when almost everyone else was wearing flared jeans, t-shirts and jumpers. He was staring at her, his scowl almost as dark as Sirius' had been, though his lips twitched into something resembling a smile when she waved. After handing over her permission slip, Lily started to call out to Severus but Sabine slipped her arm through Lily’s again and pulled her back.
"I'd throw him off a cliff, too."
"Don't, Sabine. He can hear you."
"Good. You know he added too many chopped newt eggs to my cauldron in Potions yesterday. Made it boil over and I had points deducted, didn't I."
"He didn't mean to. He was trying to help, and besides, it would have boiled over anyway because you had stirred it wrong. You'd gone anti-clockwise instead of--"
"Oh, I don’t care, Lily. I didn’t want his help, is the point. Sirius was just about to come over and then there was Snape in the way, as usual."
"So that's it. You're mad because Black didn't help you."
"Not just, but he would have if Snape hadn't butted in. Besides, you know he called Alice a--"
"Don’t repeat it! He didn't, anyway. Theo Avery did."
"But he didn't say anything to stop it, did he? Just stood there." Alice, Zoe, and Iana had joined them now, listening as Sabine warmed to her topic. "And what about what happened to Ben Goran? That was definitely Severus, and he's always being rude to Remus, Snape is, even though it's James and Sirius who prank him."
Lily didn't say anything--couldn't. Severus had promised to apologize to Ben after hexing him in the library. The Ravenclaw had only been trying to help Lily study for Charms, after all, and it wasn't flirting, of all things, and Lily really hated that even Severus thought that boys and girls couldn't just be friends. They were only thirteen (going on fourteen), for goodness sake, and Lily couldn't understand what the hurry was. She also couldn't deny that Severus was really rude to Remus. Sabine was right, it was James and Sirius who played pranks and acted like idiots, not Remus, who was unfailingly kind to everyone. She really couldn't see why Remus was even friends with the other boys since he was so different from them.
The girls finally stepped away from Professor McGonagall and Lily shook her head, not wanting to think about it all anymore. She just wanted to go to Hogsmeade and not argue about Severus or speculate about who liked who. She turned toward her friends, ready to herd them all through the gates.
"Wait for me, Lily!" Zoe called as she began to race back toward the castle. "I forgot my bag. It's on my bed. I won't be a minute."
Lily nodded, stopping to wait with the other girls, and her eyes fell on the Gryffindor boys as they were handing over their permission slips and Professor McGonagall began to scrutinize them closely and lecture them about their behavior whilst off campus.
"We're going to the Shrieking Shack first," Iana called out, smiling at James when he looked up. "You could come with if you'd like."
The boys looked at each other as if she'd asked them to go to the moon, and Lily noticed that Remus even paled visibly. She wondered if maybe he was afraid of the stories they'd heard of a particularly violent haunting. She could only imagine what James and Sirius had come up with, no doubt designed to scare the boys in the younger years.
"All four of you could come, of course," Iana added, blushing a bit now when the boys just continued to stare.
"I can't go at all," Sirius finally said, stepping away from the other boys as they stood crowding around Professor McGonagall. "My mum said she'd only send my signed permission slip if I didn’t get detention the whole first quarter."
"Maybe Professor McGonagall--"
"Don't even finish that sentence, Mr. Pettigrew. No signed permission slip, no Hogsmeade."
"But it wasn't even Sirius' fault. He just took the blame for it, is all," James said, giving Professor McGonagall his most winning smile. Lily laughed quietly into her hand, knowing it never worked on Professor McGonagall but finding it funny that he always tried anyway. When she caught herself laughing, she huffed for the third time, remembering too late that she didn't find James Potter the least bit funny.
"If you had a hand in teaching Mr. Filch's mops and brooms to dance, Mr. Potter."
"I didn't!"
"They've never been the same since," Mr. Filch whinged, shaking his head at the loss.
"Please do feel free to unburden your conscience. I'm sure I could find a suitable punishment for--"
"Really, I didn't!" James stepped up quickly and handed over his signed permission slip and then hurriedly slid through the gates to where the girls stood. He grinned back at the boys and wiped his hand across his brow as if he'd already run all the way to Hogsmeade and back. Peter immediately followed, keeping his eyes down so that Professor McGonagall wouldn't think he had been involved at all, Lily suspected. Then there was Remus, who handed over his permission slip but stepped out of line, away from Professor McGonagall, to stand next to Sirius.
"You may go into the village, Mr. Lupin," Professor McGonagall called to him. "Your permission slip is in order."
As Lily watched, Sirius put his hand on Remus' back and gave him a little push toward James, but Remus just dug his heels in and shook his head.
"Go on, Remus," Sirius said. "You don't have to stay with me."
"It's not fair if I go and you have to stay. It was my fault you had detention," Remus whispered so that Professor McGonagall couldn't hear but Lily was standing just close enough as she waited for Zoe. "Besides, I didn't really want to go anyway. I don't want to see the Shack."
"You don't have to. I'll tell James not to make you go."
"You know he'll want to." Remus and Sirius both looked up when James called out, C'mon Lupin, and Lily watched as Remus twisted his fingers in a nervous gesture. "Besides, I was saving my pocket money to buy a chess set for my dad for Christmas. It'll take everything I have to get him something nice."
"I told you I'd give you some for today," Sirius whispered to Remus who was shaking his head. Sirius gave a small huff of his own before he looked up again, this time catching Lily watching them. "What are you looking at, Evans?"
"Nothing."
"Spying on us, like your boyfriend, Snivellus."
"He's not my boyfriend, and don't call him that."
"Still spying."
"I wasn't. I couldn't help but overhear though. I'm sorry, but I don't really want to see the Shack, either, Remus," Lily lied. She took a step forward, smiling at him and ignoring Sirius. She reached out to tug on his jacket sleeve. "We could walk down to the village together instead and see the owlery."
Lily was taken aback when Sirius brushed her hand away as he stepped in front of Remus, pushing him back and looking down at Lily with disdain.
"He's not going at all, he said," Sirius said, his voice gone cold. "We've other things to do than look at ruddy owls."
Lily took another step back, looking from Sirius's scowl to where Remus looked at her over Sirius' shoulder with wide eyes, but Remus said nothing. For a moment, Lily was worried that Sirius might actually try to hex her, and she considered calling out to Professor McGonagall, who was busy with a group of Slytherins, some who were in second year, Lily was sure, but then Remus seemed to sense it, too, and pulled hard on Sirius' arm.
"Let's just go back up to the castle," Remus whispered, and Sirius nodded once, and then looked past Lily as if she was no longer there, as if she no longer mattered.
"Go on, James," Sirius said. "And don't forget to bring me back the thing you promised."
"I won't."
Lily finally turned away and nearly into James, and she wondered when he had come back so close. He grinned at her and she huffed again, really wishing she'd quit it because it reminded her terribly of her mother and Petunia when they'd get angry, and she wasn't angry. At least, she wasn't angry now.
"We could still go to the owlery," James said, his eyes flashing behind his glasses, and if Lily didn't know better, she'd say he was trying to make her huff again. Lily didn't; she only turned and walked back to stand with her friends, wondering what was taking Zoe so long. Looking back up to the castle, she watched as James and Peter finally left, waving to the girls on their way out the gate, and then Remus and Sirius walking back toward the castle, Remus steering Sirius away from the Slytherins, and finally Zoe as she came running toward them.
Severus was still waiting for her, she found, and she smiled at him again though this time his scowl remained. She let her friends move past and walked slowly enough that they couldn't hear her when she greeted him.
"Isn't Loony Lupin allowed out without Sirius Black to hold his hand?"
"Don't, Severus."
"It's what he is."
"And I suppose I'm--"
"Of course not," Severus said, cutting Lily off before she could toss out the insult she knew he must have heard his friends call her before.
"It's what you called Alice."
"I said I was sorry for that."
"You told me you were sorry, not Alice."
"I'm not friends with Alice."
"That doesn't matter, Sev. It was an awful thing to say, just like calling Remus names. He's never anything but nice."
"To you, perhaps. Of course, he would be, wouldn't he."
"What do you mean?"
"You know what I mean, and I don't like it."
"I don't know. Remus and I are friends, Sev, like you and me."
"Like you and me," he mocked and Lily stopped them both on the path with a hand to his shoulder.
"What exactly are you on about, Severus?"
"Remus Lupin fancies you, is what I'm on about, and you--"
"Stop. He doesn't, and before you start on about anything else, I don't fancy anyone either. It's ridiculous, and I'm tired of all this talk about who I do or don't like." Severus looked down at his hands, his face carefully blank, and Lily felt suddenly tremendously sorry for him. "Will you come with us today?"
"They won't want me to."
"I'd like you to."
"Then let us just go together."
"I promised the girls." Lily knew it was the wrong thing to say. He had clearly heard her when she offered to go alone to the owlery with Remus and she watched as hope fled his face, the line of his mouth hardening. He looked up the road and so did she, seeing that the group of Slytherins were coming through the gate, their numbers diminished since Professor McGonagall had sent the second years scampering back up to the castle.
"Never mind," he said, walking backwards, and for a moment Lily was torn but said nothing to stop him, only just turned and ran to catch up with the other girls.
Later, when it was finally just Lily and her friends, the day was better. For a while, Sabine and Iana had giggled over boys, replaying the things James had said, the way Sirius' hair had fallen just so into his gray eyes. By the time they'd reached the village, they both agreed it would be better to be poor and in love--because it was romantic--than to be rich, and so Remus had featured briefly in their gigglings. After that, there had been too much to see and do to worry about boys, and Lily had been relieved.
It was nearly dinner when the girls finally stumbled back into the Gryffindor common room, and by then, Lily had all but forgotten everything except her new quills, her bag from Honeydukes, and the puffskein that was humming contentedly in her jumper pocket. By the fire, she spotted Sirius and Remus playing chess, and for a moment she watched as Remus' fingers twitched above his pieces as though he might move them like Muggle chess. Sirius sat on the floor at his feet, leaning against the couch where Remus sat with the chessboard, and Lily wondered if maybe he'd forgotten about this morning, too.
Slipping her hand into her pocket, she stroked her finger over the soft fur of the puffskein. She hated that they couldn't all just be friends because of this strange thing with Severus. She hated more that maybe Remus thought that she was like Severus, or worse, like the other girls. She didn't want things to get weird, didn't want things to change. She'd had enough of that with Petunia.
After a moment, Lily reminded herself that she was a Gryffindor--more brawn that brains, the Slytherins said, but who were they to know. It was courage that Gryffindors shared, and she refused to be cowed by a thirteen-year-old boy who thought he ruled the world. Ignoring Sirius and thoughts of Severus, Lily pushed back her shoulders and walked over to Remus, grinning at him when he looked up.
"Hogsmeade was loads of fun. You really should have come. I brought you back a chocolate frog, though." Lily dug into her bag and offered him a the slightly rumpled chocolate, hoping it hadn't been crushed too badly. She was glad she had when Remus' eyes lit up all bright and he grinned at her, a dimple creasing one cheek.
"Thanks, Lily."
"It's your go, Remus," Sirius said, tapping the chessboard with his finger to get Remus' attention again.
"I asked Professor McGonagall, and she said the next Hogsmeade weekend would be in early December. Will you go with us then?" Lily wasn't sure why she asked or why the answer was important to her, but she had both boys' attention now, and she could suddenly see why Sabine liked Sirius. He was very good looking in a way that was different from anyone else at Hogwarts. Where Remus felt safe, Sirius was all dangerously sharp edges. Even at just barely fourteen, he'd already lost all the baby roundness that made all the other boys their age look younger than they were. He had high cheekbones and a strong chin, a fine, straight nose, like a movie star, and she blushed when he cut his eyes at her but steadfastly continued to smile at Remus though she felt a little like running away.
"I don't know, Lily. I mean, I do want to go. I want to get my dad--"
"A chess set. I overheard earlier; I'm sorry!" Lily covered her face with her hands and laughed, peeking out to look at Remus between her fingers, grinning when he grinned at her first. "There were a bunch in Dervish & Banges, some really beautiful ones. Is your dad a wizard?"
"Of course he is," Sirius said even as he tugged on Remus' sleeve this time. "It's still your go."
"He teaches history in a Muggle school, though. He didn't always but..." Remus let his thoughts trail off, turning his attention back to the game. When he spoke again, it was to Sirius. "He's really smart, my dad. He could have been anything, but he likes being home summers with me, he said."
"What did he do before?" Sirius asked.
"I don't know. He's never said," Remus said quietly, his eyes going to Lily before he looked back down at the chessboard. "It's like the magic thing."
Sirius flicked his gaze up to Lily, his mouth twisted to the side. "C'mon, Remus. Your go. Your knights are plotting something."
"That's because it's your set. They're always plotting something."
"You could use James' next time."
"His won't mind me."
"They won't mind me, either. I think he's charmed them." Sirius prodded his queen with a sharp finger to her back. "Are you still here, Evans?"
Lily felt her cheeks go suddenly hot and she took a step back, again straight into James.
"Don't mind Black. He can't help he has no manners. It's his family; they're all raving lunatics." James smiled crookedly at Lily, and Lily felt her blush deepen. "It's quite sad, really. We only let him out today because Lupin promised to babysit him."
"Shove off, Potter." Sirius kicked at James' ankle and James kicked back before launching himself for a full assault, knocking over the chessboard and sending the pieces flying. In a moment, he had Sirius in a headlock and pulled Remus down on top of them both, making them all laugh in a tangle of arms and legs.
"James Potter, you are completely--" James raised up on to his elbows expectantly and Lily narrowed her eyes at him and stomped her foot. "Ridiculous."
Lily turned to find Peter standing behind her, his eyes big and a half eaten apple in his hand. Alice stood waiting for her at the portrait, hiding her own smile behind her hand.
"Wait, Evans. We'll go down to dinner with you," James called, trying to extricate himself from the pile of boys but Sirius had hold of his arms and pinned them behind his back.
"No thank you."
"She's in a right strop" Peter said in a fake, loud whisper that sent the boys into another round of laughter.
"I'm not mad," Lily said as she walked away. "I'm not."
Lily wasn't five steps away when she overhead Peter as he said, "Zoe told me that Lily likes Remus."
"When?" James asked, his voice strangely casual as if he couldn't care less for the answer even as he seemed too interested, too curious. Lily couldn't resist looking back then, only to see James sprawled out on the floor, still propping himself up on his elbows while Sirius kneeled next to Remus, pushing his hair from his eyes.
"When you went back into Zonko's to get more dungbombs. Do you like her back, Remus?"
"Of course he doesn't,” Sirius said, sounding a bit triumphant, but Lily couldn't help but notice how Remus' cheeks burned redder than her own. For the first time, she felt a strange flutter in her stomach and she smiled when Alice slipped her arm through Lily's.
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