(no subject)

[fox_confessor]

It's late (for me) so comments and emails in the morning but I'm marking an occasion! Usually an event like today (annoying, condescending, upsetting work meeting) would have sent me in a tailspin for days, and I was very upset (and annoyed, frustrated, angry) this morning. But then I talked to everyone I work with (almost literally)--not to complain but to see how their day was going and talk about their dogs, their kids, their new beards (how did I not see that coming?), the shows they're watching and the books they're reading. And then I went for a walk because it was warm and really lovely out (not raining for a change over the last few weeks) and I didn't even need a jacket. And I went to yoga after work for the first time in two weeks (two? Might be three) and really listened to what she said, really heard it, and focused on my breathing and kept to my mat even when the temptation to see what that guy (that guy over there) was doing, which was exactly what I needed.

She was playing a version of "Rainbow Connection" before class, which was kind of funny because she never plays music like that (generally no music with lyrics). I think it was Willie Nelson? I love that song. I used to watch The Muppets with my sister, which would have been the 70's right?

Anyway, one of the woman that I visited today said there was something *hand wave* different about me--that I was glowing, and asked what was going on and I said "I'm happy" and I actually meant it. I am happy, no matter what happened this morning, because it had so little to do with me, really. It was about me, it involved me, but it had so little to do with me because it's completely outside of my capacity to change, so it was all those things (frustrating, infuriating, annoying) but I can't help that. It's literally someone else's problem, whether they choose to change or accept responsibility or continue to ignore it--I didn't cause it and I can't change it, so I'm not going to dwell on it, and I'm not going to let it take residence in my mind.

And that is so crazy different from how I normally handle things that I had to mark the occasion :D Now. bed.

Comments

[pavlablack.livejournal.com]

Good for you--you're totally right about it having little to do with you, and I'm so glad you had a good day. Definitely an occasion worth marking!

[juke-box-dive.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I really appreciate your comments on my other post, too.

[msilverstar]

That is utterly fantastic! It cheered up my whole night.

[juke-box-dive.livejournal.com]

Excellent! Thank you!

[kiltsandlollies.livejournal.com]

OCCASION MARKED. *nod*

[juke-box-dive.livejournal.com]

<3

[laughing-baubo.livejournal.com]

Oh I wish I could get to this place. Feelings are truly fleeting. It's the self-created drama that lingers and causes pain. I know this intellectually, but it's so rare for me to be able to drop the drama quickly or just not go there.

Anyhow, reading this made me smile and I felt my shoulders go down about three inches and you are the best advertisement for yoga EVAH.

xo

[juke-box-dive.livejournal.com]

You can totally get here, too, Ronnie! It's really not so much the yoga as the meditation. The studio I practice at is very focused on the mental side of it and has a free mediation class as well. The book we're using now is Wherever You Go, There You Are by Jon Kabat-Zinn. It's broken into small parts and had meditation practice suggestions at the end of each. I mention it because I remember that the book The Artist's Way was helpful to you and I think this one might have a similar set up?

Anyway, it's taken a long time just to get this far and I know I have so much further to go but I feel more focused, calmer, more sure of my place in the world, less lost to the past (which has always held a lot of regrets for me). I still haven't figured out how to let go completely of the anger toward my father (for a big example) but it has helped so so so much.

Rambling! Sorry :D I might be a little enthusiastic on the topic. It's good to hear from you.

[ravenscathedral.livejournal.com]

and that is a wonderful post I am so happy youre happy yay for all the happys! Squishes yer face!

[juke-box-dive.livejournal.com]

<3 Thank you!

[eff-reality.livejournal.com]

Bwee. Good for you! ♥

[juke-box-dive.livejournal.com]

Thank you!