Jan. 12th, 2003 11:16 pm
Fic: Case of You. 2
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fox_confessorDisclaimer: A work of fiction; the recognizable people in the story belong to themselves and have never performed the actions portrayed here. I do not know the actors nor am I associated with them in any way. If you are underage, please do not read this story. I am not making any profit from these stories, nor do I mean any harm.
Title: Case of You. 2
Pairing: dm, bb, ob/dm
Summary: “Where’s my will/Why this strange desire/That keeps mounting higher/When I look at you/I can’t keep still/You’re my thrill” –Sidney Clare 1933
Rating: R
Notes: Parts: One
***
Six in the morning is not the time of day to question your sexuality, or so Billy decided as he stood patiently, waiting for the glue on his feet to dry. Still, he could not erase the memory of last night’s events from his mind and the headache hammering at his temples wasn’t making it any easier.
Lips, their taste familiar, insistent. A kiss that started out gentle but grew…in their need. Hands that had rested on his waist, had traveled—one along the spine, the other kneading his ass. Afterwards, when the kiss had finally ended, Dominic’s eyes smoldered, the promise of more to come clear. And his lips—deep red, swollen and moist…Perfect. Tempting. And belonging to someone else.
“Bill…Billy!”
His thoughts jerked back to the present, Billy’s eyes focused on Elijah who stood near the CD player.
“You with us, dude?”
Dominic had noticed the far-away look on Billy’s face long before that, but had chosen to leave him be. Standing on a box for hours at dawn had to be bothersome enough. Now he watched, concerned, as Billy attempted to shake off whatever he had been thinking about.
“’Course, I am” Billy said. Looking around the small make-up trailer, he was dismayed to find everyone’s attention focused on him. He clearly his throat and weakly added, “not enough coffee.”
Elijah rolled his eyes, laughing. “Another late night with Melanie, more likely.”
Although he was laughing along at Elijah’s comment, Dominic’s attention had been grabbed by more than the humor. There wasn’t much reason for him to be questioning it anymore. Billy had more than proven his heterosexuality over the last few weeks. Yet, Dominic found himself awaiting Billy’s reaction, as if he still needed that one last ounce of proof. Something to twist the knife just a bit more.
The heat of a blush warmed Billy’s cheeks even as he tried to chuckle along with everyone else in the make-up trailer. He gave a self-conscious glance in Dominic’s direction, trying not to focus on the lips now stretched wide in laughter. So many weeks ago, those same lips had kissed him.
While trying to read the look on Billy’s face, Dominic swayed a little and moved one of his feet to regain his balance.
“Stay still, please,” the make-up person chided.
“Sorry.” Dominic turned away from Billy, but could see him reflected in the mirror. The smile that had been there a second ago was gone, replaced by a frown and furrowed eyebrows.
***
Billy watched Sean Astin’s face, hoping he had chosen the right person to go to with his troubles. The fact that Sean had calmly set his sandwich down and not dropped it, gave Billy a little comfort.
“Did you kiss him back?”
“No,” Billy quickly replied.
“What happened then? Did you hit him?”
“No,” he answered again, but more softly. “I yelled a little but—”
“But what? Are you two okay?” Sean was frowning, looking frightfully worried.
“I’m fine, Sean. Really. It’s not…well, he apologized…said he wouldn’t do it again.”
“Then everything’s okay?”
“Yeah.”
Sean nodded and went back to eating, balancing his plate on one knee, his book on the other. Billy picked up his water, deliberating about whether or not to bring up the rest of his problem.
“So, when did this happen?”
“Mmmm?” Billy took a few swallows and put the bottle down. “About four weeks ago.”
“A month?” Sean was frowning again.
“A month, aye.”
“Okay,” Sean said, drawing the word out, making it sound like a question.
Billy was silent for several minutes and watched as Sean went back to his book. Turning to look over his shoulder, Billy saw Dominic and Elijah playing a game with a paper cup.
“Sean?”
“Yeah,” he answered distractedly.
“I didn’t mind when Dom kissed me. I…I think I liked it.”
Sean creased the corner of the page he was on and put his book down by his side. At the sound of the book closing, Billy turned his head to look back at Sean, who looked across the field to where the next shot was being set up.
Knowing that Sean was contemplating his words, Billy dropped his eyes and nervously pulled at the grass between his Hobbit feet.
“Then why didn’t you kiss him back?” Sean finally asked.
“What would that make me?”
“Uhm, someone who likes to kiss. Like Dom, obviously.”
Billy shook his head adamantly. “You know what I mean.” He wanted to hear it.
“And so do you. Does it scare you to be attracted to a man?”
Changing his mind completely, Billy suddenly wished he hadn’t heard it. He crossed his legs and his arms, growing uncomfortable with where the conversation was headed. It was one thing to think about it…fantasize about it…
“It happens, Billy. It doesn’t mean that you have to pursue a relationship. But I’d hate to think that this might become a problem between the two of you.”
“But what if I…?” Billy thought back to the night before, at Dominic’s birthday bash. He thought about the kiss that Orlando had given to the birthday boy. “You were there last night, Sean. You saw Orli and Dom.”
“Seemed more like drunken behavior to me…plus you know that Orlando’s very affectionate. I doubt that it meant anything.” Sean’s voice began to take on an air of exasperation. His eyes looked past Billy. “Maybe you should be talking to Dominic about this.”
Nodding and knowing that Sean was right, Billy turned around again, only to see Dominic looking right back at him.
* * *
“No. I’m just saying that Billy Corgan is genius and Moby is a complete wanker. His lyrics have none of the subtlety of Corgan’s. They’re nothing but mental masturbation put to music.”
Dominic was reclined in the make-up chair, relaxing into his footbath and massage. He looked to the end of the trailer where Elijah stood, fully de-hobbited and enthusiastically explaining his point while waiting for Sean.
“I’m coming.” Sean walked over to the door then turned around and gave a wave towards Dominic before herding Elijah out the door. “Now, who’s Corgan with again.”
The few people left in the trailer laughed at Elijah’s dramatic sigh as the door shut. Billy was the only one who didn’t seem to catch it. He was slumped to the side in his chair, his head resting on a folded arm.
Once his feet had been toweled off, Dominic leaned forward, “You sleeping, Bill?”
Billy didn’t answer.
The trailer door opened and closed a few more times as the crew were calling it a day, each calling out a farewell until only Billy and Dominic remained.
Dominic stood up and knelt next to Billy’s chair. He hovered a hand over Billy’s head for a minute before letting it rest lightly there. He stroked the hair softly, ruffling where the wig had flattened it. “Bill? Wake up.” He watched Billy’s eyes flutter open.
Billy’s eyes slowly focused on Dominic’s face so close to his own. “Dom?”
Dominic smiled at him, his fingers still moving through Billy’s hair. “Maybe I should drive you home, Sleeping Beauty.”
Billy smiled back, feeling that familiar flutter in his stomach he got now whenever he was near Dominic. He looked around the now empty trailer and asked, “Where is everyone?”
“Gone. They just finished with me.” A few more strands slipped through Dominic’s fingers, before Billy sat up, moving out of reach. Dominic stood up and stretched, twisting from side to side, sorry that the moment had to end so soon. He watched Billy scrub at this face and looked at him wistfully before turning to grab his clothes. “I’m going to change, then I’ll take you home.”
Nodding his head sleepily, Billy stood up and shucked Pippin’s trousers. As he pulled his jeans on over his boxers, he thought about his talk with Sean earlier. About Dominic kissing him. About Orlando kissing Dominic. He took the rest of the costume off and neatly hung the outfit up on hangers so that he wouldn’t be scolded by wardrobe. Picking up his shirt, he looked into the mirror in front of him and saw Dominic watching him.
Dominic dropped his eyes and mumbled, “Sorry.”
“It’s all right,” Billy turned to face Dominic, hesitant and twisting his shirt in his hands. “I’ve been wanting to talk to you. Well, I wanted to ask you about—“
“Dominic!” Orlando came bursting into the trailer, the door banging loudly against the trailer wall. “C’mon, man! You’re not ready *yet*? Hey, Bills.”
“Orlando.” Billy pulled his shirt over his head, cursing himself for being so reticent. He had never been at such a loss for words before around Dominic. Not until the night of that kiss. Turning and opening a drawer, Billy grabbed his wallet and keys.
“Shit, I forgot that we were going out.” Dominic couldn’t imagine Orlando having worse timing. He had an idea of what Billy’s words might have been leading towards and if he was right, he could care less about going to get a beer.
Orlando bounded up behind Dominic and wrapped his arms around his shoulders. “Forgot?”
“You start knocking them back already or what?” Dominic said, trying to extricate himself from the embrace. “I need to take Billy home.”
Billy watched them, his expression carefully arranged. “No, Dom. It’s all right. I can drive myself.” He held up his keys as if to make his decision more obvious.
“No, I said I would.”
“Leave ‘em alone, you git and let’s go.” Orlando planted a wet kiss on Dominic’s cheek, then rubbed his own against it.
“Damn it, Orli.” Dominic didn’t like having to be so cold to Orlando. The attention that his friend lavished on him was usually quite welcome and innocent enough. The timing was just all wrong. “Not now.” It was supposed to be for Orlando’s ears only, but Dominic’s words came out a little louder than he had hoped.
It was all that Billy needed to hear. He was almost thankful that Orlando had interrupted when he did…before Billy could make a fool out of himself. “I don’t want to ruin your evening. I can manage.” While sliding into his shoes, he added, “I’m wide-awake now.”
“You should come, Billy.” Orlando said, having already unwrapped himself from Dominic.
“No,” Billy answered shortly.
Orlando grinned and flopped down in one of the chairs. “Hot date with that gal, I bet. What was her name? Melissa?”
“Melanie,” Dominic supplied, grabbing his wallet and feeling for his car keys. He was determined to hear what Billy had to say before the night was through.
“Going out with Mel tonight, then? Bring her. We’ll double date,” Orlando winked at Dominic while using his foot to twist the chair from side to side.
Dominic was more angry with himself than anything. All the playful flirting that he had done with Orlando was coming back to bite him in the ass.
“Thanks, but no thanks, Orli.” Billy had considered getting together with Melanie that night, but had decided that it would be a huge mistake. It was bad enough that he had been dating her just to get his mind off Dominic. Walking towards the door, he added, “Staying in tonight, actually.”
“Sucks. Okay, Sblomie. Billy’s getting himself home, so let’s go.” Orlando launched himself out of the chair and draped himself over Dominic again.
“Wait, Billy-”
“Guess it’ll be just me and you, luv.” Orlando tightened his grip, leaning down to kiss Dominic’s neck.
In the few seconds that it took for Dominic to throw a glare at Orlando, the trailer door had opened and slammed shut. “Fuck!” Dominic pulled away from Orlando and began to run towards the door, then stopped, realizing he was still barefoot. “Fuck!”
“What?”
Dominic fell into the chair and quickly worked on donning his socks and sneakers. He figured it would take Billy at least five minutes to get to his car. “Orli, what the hell is wrong with you? I told you to stop!”
Seeming to finally take Dominic seriously, Orlando frowned. “No, what the hell is wrong with *you*? Just playing around like we always do, man. You’ve never freaked out like this before.” He turned and looked at the door, then back at Dominic. “You have a thing for Billy, now?”
Dominic didn’t respond. He couldn’t believe he was having a problem with something as simple as tying a shoelace.
“You do,” Orlando crowed. “You have a crush on Billy. Why didn’t you say something? I wouldn’t have kissed you in front of him. I wouldn’t have-”
Sighing, Dominic stood up. “It’s okay, Orli. He’s assured me he’s straight. It’s just that-”
“What? Are you going to try to convert him? It can’t be done, man.”
“It’s not like that.” Dominic stood up and headed for the door. He wasn’t sure what it was he had for Billy at this point, but whatever it was, he couldn’t hide it anymore. Opening the door, Dominic stopped to look at Orlando who was sprawled in the chair looking petulant. “Meet me in the car park in ten minutes. Stay *here* until then.”
“Yeah, sure,” Orlando mumbled, along with a few other words.
* * *
While unlocking his car door, Billy heard Dominic calling his name. He was resolved to just getting in the car and driving away until he noticed that Orlando wasn’t jogging over to him along with Dominic.
“I told you I’d take you home,” Dominic said when he reached the car.
“I’m fine. I thought maybe you’d be eager to be off.” Billy watched as Dominic was catching his breath. He couldn’t understand it. Orlando was all over him, yet Dominic runs clear across the lot and *still* wants to drive him home. He couldn’t help but wonder just what *other* castmembers Dominic had kissed.
“No, not really. You wanted to ask me something.” If Billy wasn’t going to let himself be driven home, Dominic was at least going to get Billy to talk to him before he left.
The keys jingled as Billy put his hands on his hips. He looked at the ground and worried his bottom lip between his teeth, wording and rewording his question he wanted to ask Dominic. After changing his mind numerous times, he finally said, “You and Orlando seem very close.”
“No more than any of us.”
“It didn’t look that way.”
“Orli’s just like that, you know?”
“I saw him kiss you last night.”
Dominic stared at Billy, wondered if he was really hearing jealously in his friend’s voice, afraid he might be misreading him again. He shoved his hands deep into his trouser pockets, giving a soft kick to one of the tires of Billy’s car. “Just a kiss.”
“Between guys who like to kiss.”
“Yeah.” Dominic had pretty much memorized the tread of the tire at that point. “And…well… it was my birthday, mate.” And I was piss drunk, he added silently.
“Right.” Billy’s attention was drawn to the motion of Dominic’s foot. He couldn’t recall any reason for guys to kiss and grope each other when they turned another year older. “Seemed like more.”
Dominic didn’t know what to say. Yes, Orlando kissed him. Yes, he bloody well liked that kiss. Yes, he would have rather been kissing Billy. But Billy was straight. Or so he thought. Raising his head, Dominic decided to be blunt. “Can I ask why you care, Billy?”
Shocked, Billy looked up. “I…I don’t.”
“I think you do,” Dominic challenged, seeing how taken aback Billy was at his question. If he was going to find out how Billy really felt, he had to find out quick. Orlando would be coming soon.
Billy opened and shut his mouth several times, not sure how to continue. He had already convinced himself that he needed to be honest with himself…and with Dominic. But, how?
Dominic noticed how Billy’s arms stiffly fell to his sides, how he back up against the car. He turned and leaned sideways against the car next to Billy. “It’s okay. I’m not going to kiss you again.”
Billy crossed his arms in front of his chest, blushing furiously, looking off into the distance. “I still don’t understand why you-”
“Because I wanted to. And because you seemed to want me to.” He remembered how Billy looked that night, how sad Billy had seemed before Dominic touched him. It felt right. It felt right to have Billy in his arms. “I fucking hate that I did it, though. I hate that we have it between us still. It was weeks ago.”
“No. It’s okay.”
“No, it’s not. I’m sorry.”
“Dom.” Billy turned and looked up at Dominic, then down to his hands. The way Dominic was looking at him…he couldn’t stand it. He also couldn’t stand how much he *wanted* Dominic to kiss him again. Sure, he would probably have gotten angry, he would push him away again, but…he just wanted to feel it again. Billy started playing with the edge of his shirt. “I have been thinking about it. A lot. I don’t understand why-”
“Billy, I didn’t mean to make-”
“Let me finish.” Billy rubbed at his eyes, wishing he was still in his sleepy daze. “I’m not going to see Melanie anymore. I just don’t…it’s not fair to her.”
“What’s not?” Dominic was more sure than ever this time. Billy was most definitely blushing. He stayed quiet waiting, letting hope blossom again.
“When you kissed me…it wasn’t the first time I thought…it was the first time a mand had kissed me but not the first time I had thought about it…thought about what it would be like.” Billy knew he was rambling, but there was no way around it. It wasn’t going to come out any clearer than that even if he had another few months to plan it. “I have nothing against it…for others…but for me…” Billy shook his head. “Jesus, this is hard.”
Dominic was overwhelmed with sentiment, but still kept his feelings hidden. “Just…just take your time. I’m not going anywhere.” It took everything in him not to just touch Billy’s hair again, to put his arms around him, to take Billy’s face in his hands and kiss him until they both ran out of breath. He prayed that Orlando wouldn’t show up yet.
“This thing is, I can’t stop thinking about it. That it was you.” Billy was only beginning to understand why it was bothering him so much. If it had only been just a kiss then it wouldn’t have mattered in the least. If only he could be like Orlando and not take it all so seriously. “I’m just afraid of what-”
“We can take it slow.” Dominic almost covered his mouth as he realized what he had said. But perhaps it *was* the right thing to say.
Billy looked up at Dominic’s face, studying him. His friend’s reaction to all of it was a little perplexing, but then he never was very sure of what to expect from Dominic. “I don’t know when or if I’ll be ready for a …to…”
“I’ll wait.”
“What about Orlando?”
“I won’t kiss him anymore.”
“No…I mean-”
“He and I…we’re friends…close friends who do sometimes do silly, meaningless things. I’ll wait for you, Billy” The thought of just how long he’d have to wait was in the back of his mind, but it wasn’t nagging enough for Dominic to acknowledge it.
“I can’t ask you to do that.”
“Did you ask me? No, you didn’t. I want to.”
“I can’t promise you anything.”
Dominic wanted to tell Billy that they weren’t living in the 18th century, where people promised themselves to each other. It might have been nice to know for sure if it could work out between them, but Dominic was willing to take what he could get. Just knowing that Billy had *some* kind of feeling for him had him warm all over. “It’s okay. We’ll just go on as before and when you’re ready…uhm, if you’re ready…”
Dominic didn’t want to say anymore. He didn’t want to expect so much or put pressure on Billy. Their eyes were locked on each other’s for a few more moments and Dominic swore that he could remember how Billy’s lips had felt. Unless he was confusing them with Orlando’s.
Billy cleared his throat and turned to get into the car. He had just made a decision and knew that it was going to be a long night reconciling himself to it. He had a lot to think about.
Dominic pushed off the car and took a few steps back. Once Billy was inside, he shut the door and stood there. He wondered if it meant that they would start acting differently around each other. They certainly could go on having the long, quiet moments.
After starting the car, Billy rolled the window down.
There was another awkwardly long moment of silence. All they had to do was say goodnight. Dominic was feeling increasingly uncomfortable. Uncomfortable because he didn’t want Billy to leave.
“Dom!”
Dominic turned to see Orlando standing several feet away. He didn’t seem to be coming any closer. “I’ll be right there.” He looked at Billy again. “Are you sure you don’t want to go out with us?”
“No. I’ve got to…I need some time alone.”
“Right. You’ll call me if you need to talk?”
“I will. Thanks.” Billy smiled at Dominic. It might have been a little forced, but it felt good.
Dominic nodded and smiled in response. It wasn’t a smile that said much of anything, but he was glad to see it.
Billy rolled up the window, waved. As he started to back out his space, he was struck with another question. Dominic had offered to wait without being asked, but Billy was still a little confused.
Just as he was about to turn and head to his car, Dominic noticed that Billy’s car had stopped. Then he saw Billy roll his window back down. Dominic strolled over to the car.
“I was just wondering…why are you doing this?”
Unable to keep the smile from spreading across his face, Dominic leaned down towards the open window. “Because I think you’ll be worth the wait, Billy Boyd.”
Tbc…
Title: Case of You. 2
Pairing: dm, bb, ob/dm
Summary: “Where’s my will/Why this strange desire/That keeps mounting higher/When I look at you/I can’t keep still/You’re my thrill” –Sidney Clare 1933
Rating: R
Notes: Parts: One
***
Six in the morning is not the time of day to question your sexuality, or so Billy decided as he stood patiently, waiting for the glue on his feet to dry. Still, he could not erase the memory of last night’s events from his mind and the headache hammering at his temples wasn’t making it any easier.
Lips, their taste familiar, insistent. A kiss that started out gentle but grew…in their need. Hands that had rested on his waist, had traveled—one along the spine, the other kneading his ass. Afterwards, when the kiss had finally ended, Dominic’s eyes smoldered, the promise of more to come clear. And his lips—deep red, swollen and moist…Perfect. Tempting. And belonging to someone else.
“Bill…Billy!”
His thoughts jerked back to the present, Billy’s eyes focused on Elijah who stood near the CD player.
“You with us, dude?”
Dominic had noticed the far-away look on Billy’s face long before that, but had chosen to leave him be. Standing on a box for hours at dawn had to be bothersome enough. Now he watched, concerned, as Billy attempted to shake off whatever he had been thinking about.
“’Course, I am” Billy said. Looking around the small make-up trailer, he was dismayed to find everyone’s attention focused on him. He clearly his throat and weakly added, “not enough coffee.”
Elijah rolled his eyes, laughing. “Another late night with Melanie, more likely.”
Although he was laughing along at Elijah’s comment, Dominic’s attention had been grabbed by more than the humor. There wasn’t much reason for him to be questioning it anymore. Billy had more than proven his heterosexuality over the last few weeks. Yet, Dominic found himself awaiting Billy’s reaction, as if he still needed that one last ounce of proof. Something to twist the knife just a bit more.
The heat of a blush warmed Billy’s cheeks even as he tried to chuckle along with everyone else in the make-up trailer. He gave a self-conscious glance in Dominic’s direction, trying not to focus on the lips now stretched wide in laughter. So many weeks ago, those same lips had kissed him.
While trying to read the look on Billy’s face, Dominic swayed a little and moved one of his feet to regain his balance.
“Stay still, please,” the make-up person chided.
“Sorry.” Dominic turned away from Billy, but could see him reflected in the mirror. The smile that had been there a second ago was gone, replaced by a frown and furrowed eyebrows.
***
Billy watched Sean Astin’s face, hoping he had chosen the right person to go to with his troubles. The fact that Sean had calmly set his sandwich down and not dropped it, gave Billy a little comfort.
“Did you kiss him back?”
“No,” Billy quickly replied.
“What happened then? Did you hit him?”
“No,” he answered again, but more softly. “I yelled a little but—”
“But what? Are you two okay?” Sean was frowning, looking frightfully worried.
“I’m fine, Sean. Really. It’s not…well, he apologized…said he wouldn’t do it again.”
“Then everything’s okay?”
“Yeah.”
Sean nodded and went back to eating, balancing his plate on one knee, his book on the other. Billy picked up his water, deliberating about whether or not to bring up the rest of his problem.
“So, when did this happen?”
“Mmmm?” Billy took a few swallows and put the bottle down. “About four weeks ago.”
“A month?” Sean was frowning again.
“A month, aye.”
“Okay,” Sean said, drawing the word out, making it sound like a question.
Billy was silent for several minutes and watched as Sean went back to his book. Turning to look over his shoulder, Billy saw Dominic and Elijah playing a game with a paper cup.
“Sean?”
“Yeah,” he answered distractedly.
“I didn’t mind when Dom kissed me. I…I think I liked it.”
Sean creased the corner of the page he was on and put his book down by his side. At the sound of the book closing, Billy turned his head to look back at Sean, who looked across the field to where the next shot was being set up.
Knowing that Sean was contemplating his words, Billy dropped his eyes and nervously pulled at the grass between his Hobbit feet.
“Then why didn’t you kiss him back?” Sean finally asked.
“What would that make me?”
“Uhm, someone who likes to kiss. Like Dom, obviously.”
Billy shook his head adamantly. “You know what I mean.” He wanted to hear it.
“And so do you. Does it scare you to be attracted to a man?”
Changing his mind completely, Billy suddenly wished he hadn’t heard it. He crossed his legs and his arms, growing uncomfortable with where the conversation was headed. It was one thing to think about it…fantasize about it…
“It happens, Billy. It doesn’t mean that you have to pursue a relationship. But I’d hate to think that this might become a problem between the two of you.”
“But what if I…?” Billy thought back to the night before, at Dominic’s birthday bash. He thought about the kiss that Orlando had given to the birthday boy. “You were there last night, Sean. You saw Orli and Dom.”
“Seemed more like drunken behavior to me…plus you know that Orlando’s very affectionate. I doubt that it meant anything.” Sean’s voice began to take on an air of exasperation. His eyes looked past Billy. “Maybe you should be talking to Dominic about this.”
Nodding and knowing that Sean was right, Billy turned around again, only to see Dominic looking right back at him.
* * *
“No. I’m just saying that Billy Corgan is genius and Moby is a complete wanker. His lyrics have none of the subtlety of Corgan’s. They’re nothing but mental masturbation put to music.”
Dominic was reclined in the make-up chair, relaxing into his footbath and massage. He looked to the end of the trailer where Elijah stood, fully de-hobbited and enthusiastically explaining his point while waiting for Sean.
“I’m coming.” Sean walked over to the door then turned around and gave a wave towards Dominic before herding Elijah out the door. “Now, who’s Corgan with again.”
The few people left in the trailer laughed at Elijah’s dramatic sigh as the door shut. Billy was the only one who didn’t seem to catch it. He was slumped to the side in his chair, his head resting on a folded arm.
Once his feet had been toweled off, Dominic leaned forward, “You sleeping, Bill?”
Billy didn’t answer.
The trailer door opened and closed a few more times as the crew were calling it a day, each calling out a farewell until only Billy and Dominic remained.
Dominic stood up and knelt next to Billy’s chair. He hovered a hand over Billy’s head for a minute before letting it rest lightly there. He stroked the hair softly, ruffling where the wig had flattened it. “Bill? Wake up.” He watched Billy’s eyes flutter open.
Billy’s eyes slowly focused on Dominic’s face so close to his own. “Dom?”
Dominic smiled at him, his fingers still moving through Billy’s hair. “Maybe I should drive you home, Sleeping Beauty.”
Billy smiled back, feeling that familiar flutter in his stomach he got now whenever he was near Dominic. He looked around the now empty trailer and asked, “Where is everyone?”
“Gone. They just finished with me.” A few more strands slipped through Dominic’s fingers, before Billy sat up, moving out of reach. Dominic stood up and stretched, twisting from side to side, sorry that the moment had to end so soon. He watched Billy scrub at this face and looked at him wistfully before turning to grab his clothes. “I’m going to change, then I’ll take you home.”
Nodding his head sleepily, Billy stood up and shucked Pippin’s trousers. As he pulled his jeans on over his boxers, he thought about his talk with Sean earlier. About Dominic kissing him. About Orlando kissing Dominic. He took the rest of the costume off and neatly hung the outfit up on hangers so that he wouldn’t be scolded by wardrobe. Picking up his shirt, he looked into the mirror in front of him and saw Dominic watching him.
Dominic dropped his eyes and mumbled, “Sorry.”
“It’s all right,” Billy turned to face Dominic, hesitant and twisting his shirt in his hands. “I’ve been wanting to talk to you. Well, I wanted to ask you about—“
“Dominic!” Orlando came bursting into the trailer, the door banging loudly against the trailer wall. “C’mon, man! You’re not ready *yet*? Hey, Bills.”
“Orlando.” Billy pulled his shirt over his head, cursing himself for being so reticent. He had never been at such a loss for words before around Dominic. Not until the night of that kiss. Turning and opening a drawer, Billy grabbed his wallet and keys.
“Shit, I forgot that we were going out.” Dominic couldn’t imagine Orlando having worse timing. He had an idea of what Billy’s words might have been leading towards and if he was right, he could care less about going to get a beer.
Orlando bounded up behind Dominic and wrapped his arms around his shoulders. “Forgot?”
“You start knocking them back already or what?” Dominic said, trying to extricate himself from the embrace. “I need to take Billy home.”
Billy watched them, his expression carefully arranged. “No, Dom. It’s all right. I can drive myself.” He held up his keys as if to make his decision more obvious.
“No, I said I would.”
“Leave ‘em alone, you git and let’s go.” Orlando planted a wet kiss on Dominic’s cheek, then rubbed his own against it.
“Damn it, Orli.” Dominic didn’t like having to be so cold to Orlando. The attention that his friend lavished on him was usually quite welcome and innocent enough. The timing was just all wrong. “Not now.” It was supposed to be for Orlando’s ears only, but Dominic’s words came out a little louder than he had hoped.
It was all that Billy needed to hear. He was almost thankful that Orlando had interrupted when he did…before Billy could make a fool out of himself. “I don’t want to ruin your evening. I can manage.” While sliding into his shoes, he added, “I’m wide-awake now.”
“You should come, Billy.” Orlando said, having already unwrapped himself from Dominic.
“No,” Billy answered shortly.
Orlando grinned and flopped down in one of the chairs. “Hot date with that gal, I bet. What was her name? Melissa?”
“Melanie,” Dominic supplied, grabbing his wallet and feeling for his car keys. He was determined to hear what Billy had to say before the night was through.
“Going out with Mel tonight, then? Bring her. We’ll double date,” Orlando winked at Dominic while using his foot to twist the chair from side to side.
Dominic was more angry with himself than anything. All the playful flirting that he had done with Orlando was coming back to bite him in the ass.
“Thanks, but no thanks, Orli.” Billy had considered getting together with Melanie that night, but had decided that it would be a huge mistake. It was bad enough that he had been dating her just to get his mind off Dominic. Walking towards the door, he added, “Staying in tonight, actually.”
“Sucks. Okay, Sblomie. Billy’s getting himself home, so let’s go.” Orlando launched himself out of the chair and draped himself over Dominic again.
“Wait, Billy-”
“Guess it’ll be just me and you, luv.” Orlando tightened his grip, leaning down to kiss Dominic’s neck.
In the few seconds that it took for Dominic to throw a glare at Orlando, the trailer door had opened and slammed shut. “Fuck!” Dominic pulled away from Orlando and began to run towards the door, then stopped, realizing he was still barefoot. “Fuck!”
“What?”
Dominic fell into the chair and quickly worked on donning his socks and sneakers. He figured it would take Billy at least five minutes to get to his car. “Orli, what the hell is wrong with you? I told you to stop!”
Seeming to finally take Dominic seriously, Orlando frowned. “No, what the hell is wrong with *you*? Just playing around like we always do, man. You’ve never freaked out like this before.” He turned and looked at the door, then back at Dominic. “You have a thing for Billy, now?”
Dominic didn’t respond. He couldn’t believe he was having a problem with something as simple as tying a shoelace.
“You do,” Orlando crowed. “You have a crush on Billy. Why didn’t you say something? I wouldn’t have kissed you in front of him. I wouldn’t have-”
Sighing, Dominic stood up. “It’s okay, Orli. He’s assured me he’s straight. It’s just that-”
“What? Are you going to try to convert him? It can’t be done, man.”
“It’s not like that.” Dominic stood up and headed for the door. He wasn’t sure what it was he had for Billy at this point, but whatever it was, he couldn’t hide it anymore. Opening the door, Dominic stopped to look at Orlando who was sprawled in the chair looking petulant. “Meet me in the car park in ten minutes. Stay *here* until then.”
“Yeah, sure,” Orlando mumbled, along with a few other words.
* * *
While unlocking his car door, Billy heard Dominic calling his name. He was resolved to just getting in the car and driving away until he noticed that Orlando wasn’t jogging over to him along with Dominic.
“I told you I’d take you home,” Dominic said when he reached the car.
“I’m fine. I thought maybe you’d be eager to be off.” Billy watched as Dominic was catching his breath. He couldn’t understand it. Orlando was all over him, yet Dominic runs clear across the lot and *still* wants to drive him home. He couldn’t help but wonder just what *other* castmembers Dominic had kissed.
“No, not really. You wanted to ask me something.” If Billy wasn’t going to let himself be driven home, Dominic was at least going to get Billy to talk to him before he left.
The keys jingled as Billy put his hands on his hips. He looked at the ground and worried his bottom lip between his teeth, wording and rewording his question he wanted to ask Dominic. After changing his mind numerous times, he finally said, “You and Orlando seem very close.”
“No more than any of us.”
“It didn’t look that way.”
“Orli’s just like that, you know?”
“I saw him kiss you last night.”
Dominic stared at Billy, wondered if he was really hearing jealously in his friend’s voice, afraid he might be misreading him again. He shoved his hands deep into his trouser pockets, giving a soft kick to one of the tires of Billy’s car. “Just a kiss.”
“Between guys who like to kiss.”
“Yeah.” Dominic had pretty much memorized the tread of the tire at that point. “And…well… it was my birthday, mate.” And I was piss drunk, he added silently.
“Right.” Billy’s attention was drawn to the motion of Dominic’s foot. He couldn’t recall any reason for guys to kiss and grope each other when they turned another year older. “Seemed like more.”
Dominic didn’t know what to say. Yes, Orlando kissed him. Yes, he bloody well liked that kiss. Yes, he would have rather been kissing Billy. But Billy was straight. Or so he thought. Raising his head, Dominic decided to be blunt. “Can I ask why you care, Billy?”
Shocked, Billy looked up. “I…I don’t.”
“I think you do,” Dominic challenged, seeing how taken aback Billy was at his question. If he was going to find out how Billy really felt, he had to find out quick. Orlando would be coming soon.
Billy opened and shut his mouth several times, not sure how to continue. He had already convinced himself that he needed to be honest with himself…and with Dominic. But, how?
Dominic noticed how Billy’s arms stiffly fell to his sides, how he back up against the car. He turned and leaned sideways against the car next to Billy. “It’s okay. I’m not going to kiss you again.”
Billy crossed his arms in front of his chest, blushing furiously, looking off into the distance. “I still don’t understand why you-”
“Because I wanted to. And because you seemed to want me to.” He remembered how Billy looked that night, how sad Billy had seemed before Dominic touched him. It felt right. It felt right to have Billy in his arms. “I fucking hate that I did it, though. I hate that we have it between us still. It was weeks ago.”
“No. It’s okay.”
“No, it’s not. I’m sorry.”
“Dom.” Billy turned and looked up at Dominic, then down to his hands. The way Dominic was looking at him…he couldn’t stand it. He also couldn’t stand how much he *wanted* Dominic to kiss him again. Sure, he would probably have gotten angry, he would push him away again, but…he just wanted to feel it again. Billy started playing with the edge of his shirt. “I have been thinking about it. A lot. I don’t understand why-”
“Billy, I didn’t mean to make-”
“Let me finish.” Billy rubbed at his eyes, wishing he was still in his sleepy daze. “I’m not going to see Melanie anymore. I just don’t…it’s not fair to her.”
“What’s not?” Dominic was more sure than ever this time. Billy was most definitely blushing. He stayed quiet waiting, letting hope blossom again.
“When you kissed me…it wasn’t the first time I thought…it was the first time a mand had kissed me but not the first time I had thought about it…thought about what it would be like.” Billy knew he was rambling, but there was no way around it. It wasn’t going to come out any clearer than that even if he had another few months to plan it. “I have nothing against it…for others…but for me…” Billy shook his head. “Jesus, this is hard.”
Dominic was overwhelmed with sentiment, but still kept his feelings hidden. “Just…just take your time. I’m not going anywhere.” It took everything in him not to just touch Billy’s hair again, to put his arms around him, to take Billy’s face in his hands and kiss him until they both ran out of breath. He prayed that Orlando wouldn’t show up yet.
“This thing is, I can’t stop thinking about it. That it was you.” Billy was only beginning to understand why it was bothering him so much. If it had only been just a kiss then it wouldn’t have mattered in the least. If only he could be like Orlando and not take it all so seriously. “I’m just afraid of what-”
“We can take it slow.” Dominic almost covered his mouth as he realized what he had said. But perhaps it *was* the right thing to say.
Billy looked up at Dominic’s face, studying him. His friend’s reaction to all of it was a little perplexing, but then he never was very sure of what to expect from Dominic. “I don’t know when or if I’ll be ready for a …to…”
“I’ll wait.”
“What about Orlando?”
“I won’t kiss him anymore.”
“No…I mean-”
“He and I…we’re friends…close friends who do sometimes do silly, meaningless things. I’ll wait for you, Billy” The thought of just how long he’d have to wait was in the back of his mind, but it wasn’t nagging enough for Dominic to acknowledge it.
“I can’t ask you to do that.”
“Did you ask me? No, you didn’t. I want to.”
“I can’t promise you anything.”
Dominic wanted to tell Billy that they weren’t living in the 18th century, where people promised themselves to each other. It might have been nice to know for sure if it could work out between them, but Dominic was willing to take what he could get. Just knowing that Billy had *some* kind of feeling for him had him warm all over. “It’s okay. We’ll just go on as before and when you’re ready…uhm, if you’re ready…”
Dominic didn’t want to say anymore. He didn’t want to expect so much or put pressure on Billy. Their eyes were locked on each other’s for a few more moments and Dominic swore that he could remember how Billy’s lips had felt. Unless he was confusing them with Orlando’s.
Billy cleared his throat and turned to get into the car. He had just made a decision and knew that it was going to be a long night reconciling himself to it. He had a lot to think about.
Dominic pushed off the car and took a few steps back. Once Billy was inside, he shut the door and stood there. He wondered if it meant that they would start acting differently around each other. They certainly could go on having the long, quiet moments.
After starting the car, Billy rolled the window down.
There was another awkwardly long moment of silence. All they had to do was say goodnight. Dominic was feeling increasingly uncomfortable. Uncomfortable because he didn’t want Billy to leave.
“Dom!”
Dominic turned to see Orlando standing several feet away. He didn’t seem to be coming any closer. “I’ll be right there.” He looked at Billy again. “Are you sure you don’t want to go out with us?”
“No. I’ve got to…I need some time alone.”
“Right. You’ll call me if you need to talk?”
“I will. Thanks.” Billy smiled at Dominic. It might have been a little forced, but it felt good.
Dominic nodded and smiled in response. It wasn’t a smile that said much of anything, but he was glad to see it.
Billy rolled up the window, waved. As he started to back out his space, he was struck with another question. Dominic had offered to wait without being asked, but Billy was still a little confused.
Just as he was about to turn and head to his car, Dominic noticed that Billy’s car had stopped. Then he saw Billy roll his window back down. Dominic strolled over to the car.
“I was just wondering…why are you doing this?”
Unable to keep the smile from spreading across his face, Dominic leaned down towards the open window. “Because I think you’ll be worth the wait, Billy Boyd.”
Tbc…