Apr. 15th, 2008 07:39 am
Case of You, Epilogue
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fox_confessorTitle: Case of You, Epilogue
Author: Dani
Fandom: Lotrips
Pairing: Billy/Dom
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: A work of fiction; the recognizable people in the story belong to themselves and have never performed the actions portrayed here. I do not know the actors nor am I associated with them in any way. If you are underage, please do not read this story. I am not making any profit from these stories, nor do I mean any harm.
Notes: see chapter one two three, four, five, six, seven. Also thanks x 10000000 to Laura <3 There may not have been a happy ending otherwise :D
Mexico, September 2002
Dominic sits on a towel in the hot sand, his feet buried to his ankles and the setting sun shining brightly in his eyes. He squints to watch Billy walk towards him, carrying his surfboard. Dominic lowers his eyes, not wanting to be caught staring, and focuses on wiggling his toes deeper into the sand, not on how his best friend looks in the familiar wet suit. That--that avoidance--is what will get him through this weekend, he's sure.
“Where’s Elijah?” Billy asks once he’s close enough.
“Went back up to the house.”
Billy nods, sets his board down and picks up his towel instead, running it over his head. He stands next to Dominic, both happy and frustrated that he's there. That they're there together. Billy drops the towel and lets his hands fall to his sides, looking back over the ocean, almost wishing Elijah and Dominic had never come but grateful for the company all the same. He loves it when he gets to see Dominic, but it's become harder over the years. There's no way that he can see to admit he's made a mistake, no way to undo what he's done in the past. He knows that, but it doesn't make things any easier or more comfortable.
“Did you want to surf some more?” Billy asks Dominic, anything to fill up the space between them. He's reminded painfully of the beginning of their botched relationship, when Dominic's patience had seemed limitless. He knows better now--Dominic is anything but patient; it's only his kindness and love that had made it seem so.
“Tide’s going out.”
“You want to go in then?”
“No. Not yet.”
Dominic rests his head on his knees, watching as Billy unzips the wet suit and peels it down to his waist before Billy puts on his t-shirt back on. Dominic reaches a hand out to dust sand off the tattoo on Billy’s ankle and Billy freezes. Dominic traces his fingertips up Billy’s calf, stroking lightly, wondering if Billy would taste like salt; if he licked Billy’s knee would the skin taste like the sea. He wonders at the injustice that he'll never be able to find out.
“We should go in, Dom.”
“I don’t want to. Not yet.”
Billy listens to the waves and the gulls calling out for their supper; it's a blessing to focus on the noise, on anything but the silence between himself and Dominic. Usually, it's companionable, friendly, the words between them never needing to be spoken. Now, however, there's so much Billy wants to say that when he finally does speak, the words seem to burst from him. “We can’t.”
“Why?”
Billy shakes his head, tired of fighting with and against Dominic. Tired of always having to resist the temptation--of not just taking what he most wants. He drops onto the sand next to Dominic, mirroring his posture. They sit in silence for a while longer, watching the sun set beneath the horizon.
“Are you happy with him?” Billy finally asks, his curiosity winning out.
“Who?”
“Mac. Does he make you happy?”
Dom looks at Billy incredulously. “Is that what you think? That Mac and I are ...”
“You’re not?”
“No. You thought that?” Billy doesn't answer him; rather, he just keeps watching the horizon, and Dominic blinks and shakes his head. “Jesus, Bill. How long have you believed that?”
“I didn’t think you were pining for me all this time. I figured you had moved on. You’re living together, and then Sean said that you two had gone up to Big Sur together when I called 'round looking for you last weekend. I just thought ... I don’t know.”
“I’ve been pining.”
Billy laughs for what feels like the first time since Elijah and Dominic showed up and shakes his head before turning to face Dom. “No you haven’t.”
“I have been. I’ve been dying for your kisses.”
Dominic leans forward, squeezing his eyes shut, his lips puckered, making Billy laugh louder at the sight. Laughing along, Dominic straightens up and Billy reaches over and shoves at Dom’s shoulder. “You’re such a nutter.”
“I love you.”
Billy’s smile dies at Dominic’s quiet affirmation. “Dom. I--”
“Please don’t say anything back. Especially if it’s going to be an apology. Even now, I can’t bear to hear them. Especially now.” Dom stands up abruptly and walks back to the house. Billy sits still for a long time watching Dominic walk away, wishing he had the strength to follow him. He remembers instead all the inane arguments he used to offer Dominic, all the reasons their relationship couldn't work, all the obstacles that only now he realizes were ridiculous. Dominic loves him. Has always loved him.
Back in the house, Elijah is sprawled on the couch, the remote in one hand and a beer in the other balanced on his bare stomach. He's flipping through Billy's three channels, stopping in turn on a telenovela, a football match, and what appears to be the news. He barely flickers his eyes in Billy's direction when the screen door slams shut, knackered from a day spent at the beach. Billy can hear the shower running in the back of the house and he sighs, stepping closer to Elijah.
"Did you want dinner?"
"I ate a bowl of cereal."
"Did Dom eat?"
"I offered him my cereal. Your Zucaritas or whatever the fuck they're called. He said he wasn't hungry." Elijah drops the remote and turns to lean over the arm of the couch, looking at Billy. "He said he was thinking of driving home tomorrow."
"Oh?" Billy's stomach drops and his throat tightens enough that the word comes out pitched three octaves higher than his normal voice. Elijah raises an eyebrow and Billy clears his throat. "Did he say why?"
"I thought maybe you already knew."
Billy walks into his tiny kitchen and begins opening and shutting the cupboard doors, taking out one of his two pans and rattling a spoon in it. He knows he has nothing to cook, nothing to eat but the cereal Elijah had already found and a bag of crisps, and in truth he's not hungry, either. Billy stands in silence for a few minutes, trying to let his thoughts clear, but he's almost grateful to have the spell broken by the sound of Elijah's soft snores. Leaving the cupboards open and Elijah asleep, Billy makes his way back to where he knows he'll find Dominic now that the water's long since stopped running for the shower.
Billy knocks on the door softly but doesn't wait for an answer. The lamp is off but from the light of the hall, Billy can tell that Dominic is laying on his bed. "Dom?"
No answer. Billy takes another step inside the room, unsure if he should just wait until morning or chance waking Dominic now to say what he feels he must. "Are you awake?"
Billy walks further and softly pushes the door closed behind him, the latch catching. The old ceiling fan rattles as it passes slowly on its circuit overhead. It's barely enough to cool the room, and even with the window open, the night feels steamy. He can smell the soap and shampoo from Dominic's shower, his own brands so that Dominic smells like Billy. It's a clean scent, all citrus and breezes, and Billy wants to bury his nose into the nape of Dominic's neck and just breathe. Instead, he kneels next to the bed and finds that Dominic's awake. That he's been watching Billy without saying anything. "I wasn't going to say I was sorry out there. I was going to say that I wasn't ready then for this. For loving you."
Dominic doesn't say anything. He lays still on his stomach with his sheets kicked down to the end. His face is sweaty where it rests against his arm but he doesn't move, thinking perhaps he's dreaming or that when Billy said "ready for this," he meant something else.
"I had no idea what I was doing," Billy whispers. "I thought. It doesn't matter what I thought. What matters is now, Dom."
"It's already been long forgiven, Billy," Dominic finally says, his voice dull and flat.
"You've forgiven me, but I've never forgiven myself." Billy shifts closer, his hand moving to rest on Dominic's shoulder. Dominic's skin is warm to the touch and Billy wants a little desperately to kiss him. "I made a mistake, Dom. I knew it, actually, when you walked out that night. I knew what I had lost."
Dominic raises his head up from his pillow, thinking maybe he's misunderstanding what Billy's saying, what it all really means. "Why didn't you say something before?"
"Because it wasn't fair to you."
"You kill me with this fairness shite. Do you think I would rather have gone on without you than with to appease your sense of what's fair in this world?"
Billy feels the raw edges of panic gnawing at his heart again, stronger than just a few minutes ago when he thought Dominic might leave again. He's run out of words now; he has no idea what to say anymore that won't turn into an argument, so he does the only thing he knows that feels right—that will be right. He kisses Dominic. Dominic doesn't move, unsure whether to pull Billy closer or push him away, it seems, so Billy makes the decision for him. Crawling on the bed, he deepens the kiss, pressing Dominic into the mattress. When they're both panting for release, he lifts his head just enough to see Dominic's face in the moonlight.
"We should stop talking, Dom."
Dominic nods and grabs Billy, pulling him down as they kiss. Dominic knows that this time, he'll never let go.
Author: Dani
Fandom: Lotrips
Pairing: Billy/Dom
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: A work of fiction; the recognizable people in the story belong to themselves and have never performed the actions portrayed here. I do not know the actors nor am I associated with them in any way. If you are underage, please do not read this story. I am not making any profit from these stories, nor do I mean any harm.
Notes: see chapter one two three, four, five, six, seven. Also thanks x 10000000 to Laura <3 There may not have been a happy ending otherwise :D
Mexico, September 2002
Dominic sits on a towel in the hot sand, his feet buried to his ankles and the setting sun shining brightly in his eyes. He squints to watch Billy walk towards him, carrying his surfboard. Dominic lowers his eyes, not wanting to be caught staring, and focuses on wiggling his toes deeper into the sand, not on how his best friend looks in the familiar wet suit. That--that avoidance--is what will get him through this weekend, he's sure.
“Where’s Elijah?” Billy asks once he’s close enough.
“Went back up to the house.”
Billy nods, sets his board down and picks up his towel instead, running it over his head. He stands next to Dominic, both happy and frustrated that he's there. That they're there together. Billy drops the towel and lets his hands fall to his sides, looking back over the ocean, almost wishing Elijah and Dominic had never come but grateful for the company all the same. He loves it when he gets to see Dominic, but it's become harder over the years. There's no way that he can see to admit he's made a mistake, no way to undo what he's done in the past. He knows that, but it doesn't make things any easier or more comfortable.
“Did you want to surf some more?” Billy asks Dominic, anything to fill up the space between them. He's reminded painfully of the beginning of their botched relationship, when Dominic's patience had seemed limitless. He knows better now--Dominic is anything but patient; it's only his kindness and love that had made it seem so.
“Tide’s going out.”
“You want to go in then?”
“No. Not yet.”
Dominic rests his head on his knees, watching as Billy unzips the wet suit and peels it down to his waist before Billy puts on his t-shirt back on. Dominic reaches a hand out to dust sand off the tattoo on Billy’s ankle and Billy freezes. Dominic traces his fingertips up Billy’s calf, stroking lightly, wondering if Billy would taste like salt; if he licked Billy’s knee would the skin taste like the sea. He wonders at the injustice that he'll never be able to find out.
“We should go in, Dom.”
“I don’t want to. Not yet.”
Billy listens to the waves and the gulls calling out for their supper; it's a blessing to focus on the noise, on anything but the silence between himself and Dominic. Usually, it's companionable, friendly, the words between them never needing to be spoken. Now, however, there's so much Billy wants to say that when he finally does speak, the words seem to burst from him. “We can’t.”
“Why?”
Billy shakes his head, tired of fighting with and against Dominic. Tired of always having to resist the temptation--of not just taking what he most wants. He drops onto the sand next to Dominic, mirroring his posture. They sit in silence for a while longer, watching the sun set beneath the horizon.
“Are you happy with him?” Billy finally asks, his curiosity winning out.
“Who?”
“Mac. Does he make you happy?”
Dom looks at Billy incredulously. “Is that what you think? That Mac and I are ...”
“You’re not?”
“No. You thought that?” Billy doesn't answer him; rather, he just keeps watching the horizon, and Dominic blinks and shakes his head. “Jesus, Bill. How long have you believed that?”
“I didn’t think you were pining for me all this time. I figured you had moved on. You’re living together, and then Sean said that you two had gone up to Big Sur together when I called 'round looking for you last weekend. I just thought ... I don’t know.”
“I’ve been pining.”
Billy laughs for what feels like the first time since Elijah and Dominic showed up and shakes his head before turning to face Dom. “No you haven’t.”
“I have been. I’ve been dying for your kisses.”
Dominic leans forward, squeezing his eyes shut, his lips puckered, making Billy laugh louder at the sight. Laughing along, Dominic straightens up and Billy reaches over and shoves at Dom’s shoulder. “You’re such a nutter.”
“I love you.”
Billy’s smile dies at Dominic’s quiet affirmation. “Dom. I--”
“Please don’t say anything back. Especially if it’s going to be an apology. Even now, I can’t bear to hear them. Especially now.” Dom stands up abruptly and walks back to the house. Billy sits still for a long time watching Dominic walk away, wishing he had the strength to follow him. He remembers instead all the inane arguments he used to offer Dominic, all the reasons their relationship couldn't work, all the obstacles that only now he realizes were ridiculous. Dominic loves him. Has always loved him.
Back in the house, Elijah is sprawled on the couch, the remote in one hand and a beer in the other balanced on his bare stomach. He's flipping through Billy's three channels, stopping in turn on a telenovela, a football match, and what appears to be the news. He barely flickers his eyes in Billy's direction when the screen door slams shut, knackered from a day spent at the beach. Billy can hear the shower running in the back of the house and he sighs, stepping closer to Elijah.
"Did you want dinner?"
"I ate a bowl of cereal."
"Did Dom eat?"
"I offered him my cereal. Your Zucaritas or whatever the fuck they're called. He said he wasn't hungry." Elijah drops the remote and turns to lean over the arm of the couch, looking at Billy. "He said he was thinking of driving home tomorrow."
"Oh?" Billy's stomach drops and his throat tightens enough that the word comes out pitched three octaves higher than his normal voice. Elijah raises an eyebrow and Billy clears his throat. "Did he say why?"
"I thought maybe you already knew."
Billy walks into his tiny kitchen and begins opening and shutting the cupboard doors, taking out one of his two pans and rattling a spoon in it. He knows he has nothing to cook, nothing to eat but the cereal Elijah had already found and a bag of crisps, and in truth he's not hungry, either. Billy stands in silence for a few minutes, trying to let his thoughts clear, but he's almost grateful to have the spell broken by the sound of Elijah's soft snores. Leaving the cupboards open and Elijah asleep, Billy makes his way back to where he knows he'll find Dominic now that the water's long since stopped running for the shower.
Billy knocks on the door softly but doesn't wait for an answer. The lamp is off but from the light of the hall, Billy can tell that Dominic is laying on his bed. "Dom?"
No answer. Billy takes another step inside the room, unsure if he should just wait until morning or chance waking Dominic now to say what he feels he must. "Are you awake?"
Billy walks further and softly pushes the door closed behind him, the latch catching. The old ceiling fan rattles as it passes slowly on its circuit overhead. It's barely enough to cool the room, and even with the window open, the night feels steamy. He can smell the soap and shampoo from Dominic's shower, his own brands so that Dominic smells like Billy. It's a clean scent, all citrus and breezes, and Billy wants to bury his nose into the nape of Dominic's neck and just breathe. Instead, he kneels next to the bed and finds that Dominic's awake. That he's been watching Billy without saying anything. "I wasn't going to say I was sorry out there. I was going to say that I wasn't ready then for this. For loving you."
Dominic doesn't say anything. He lays still on his stomach with his sheets kicked down to the end. His face is sweaty where it rests against his arm but he doesn't move, thinking perhaps he's dreaming or that when Billy said "ready for this," he meant something else.
"I had no idea what I was doing," Billy whispers. "I thought. It doesn't matter what I thought. What matters is now, Dom."
"It's already been long forgiven, Billy," Dominic finally says, his voice dull and flat.
"You've forgiven me, but I've never forgiven myself." Billy shifts closer, his hand moving to rest on Dominic's shoulder. Dominic's skin is warm to the touch and Billy wants a little desperately to kiss him. "I made a mistake, Dom. I knew it, actually, when you walked out that night. I knew what I had lost."
Dominic raises his head up from his pillow, thinking maybe he's misunderstanding what Billy's saying, what it all really means. "Why didn't you say something before?"
"Because it wasn't fair to you."
"You kill me with this fairness shite. Do you think I would rather have gone on without you than with to appease your sense of what's fair in this world?"
Billy feels the raw edges of panic gnawing at his heart again, stronger than just a few minutes ago when he thought Dominic might leave again. He's run out of words now; he has no idea what to say anymore that won't turn into an argument, so he does the only thing he knows that feels right—that will be right. He kisses Dominic. Dominic doesn't move, unsure whether to pull Billy closer or push him away, it seems, so Billy makes the decision for him. Crawling on the bed, he deepens the kiss, pressing Dominic into the mattress. When they're both panting for release, he lifts his head just enough to see Dominic's face in the moonlight.
"We should stop talking, Dom."
Dominic nods and grabs Billy, pulling him down as they kiss. Dominic knows that this time, he'll never let go.
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