Jun. 28th, 2011 12:15 am
Fic: These Four Kings (Year Six 8/9)
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fox_confessorTitle: These Four Kings (Year Six 8/9)
Author: Dani (![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
escribo)
Word count: 3100
Rating: PG-13 (language, slight violence)
(Pairings: in the future will be Remus/Sirius, Lily/James)
Timeline: June 1977
Disclaimer: All Harry Potter characters are the property of J.K. Rowling and Bloomsbury/Scholastic. No copyright infringement is intended. I've not made nor seek any profit.
Year 1: one/ two/ three/ four/ five/ six/ seven
Year 2: one/ two/ three/ four
Year 3: one/ two/three/four
Year 4 (coming in the future when work quits eating my brains! Sorry for the out-of-order-ness)
Year 5 one/ two/ three/ four/ five/ six/ seven/ eight
Year 6 one/ two/ three/ four/ five/ six/ seven
"Remus?"
"Yeah?"
"Can I ask you a question?"
Remus didn't answer Peter right away. He suspected he knew the question and that he didn't have an answer, at least not one that Peter would like. Instead, he lengthened his strides to walk a bit faster, making Peter trot on the trail behind him. They were on their way to Hogsmeade, following a path through the forest because Remus was avoiding James and Sirius, though he'd sworn to Peter he wasn't when Peter had begun to follow him.
"Remus?"
Remus could hear Peter's steps falling flat footed on the path and his breathing becoming a little labored. He half expected him to turn back, knowing that Peter hadn't wanted to come with him at all but did so because, Remus assumed, James had asked him to.
"C'mon, Remus," Peter whinged.
Remus stopped short, burying his hands deep into the pockets of his faded denims, and looked up at the tops of the trees and the blue sky beyond. It was warm, and this would likely be his last chance to come to Hogsmeade before the end of the school year, his last chance before he had to go home. He didn't want to leave Hogwarts, even though being with his friends had become oddly lonelier than being in the little house by the river without his father to fill up the empty spaces.
"Did James tell you to follow me?" He asked Peter once Peter had caught up.
"No." Peter picked at the scab on his elbow, quiet until Remus quit tracking a hawk across the sky and looked back at him. "Yes."
"You can go back if you want. I won't tell."
"It's okay. I don't mind. We're almost there anyway."
Remus looked at Peter for another long minute, his eyes narrowed. In Remus' pocket were twelve silver sickles and fifteen bronze knuts, the last of his pocket money, and he meant to get enough parchment to last through summer, a small tin of biscuits to take to his mother, and then spend the rest at the tiny, used bookstore on the edge of town. He curled his hand around the coins, knowing that Peter would balk at the bookstore.
"What did James want you to do?" He asked after another minute of silence between them.
"Just go with you. So you wouldn't be alone. He gave me money to get us some butterbeers."
Remus twisted his lips but didn't answer right away. He already suspected that either James or Sirius had slipped some extra sickles into his pocket--not enough for Remus to know for sure, and it annoyed him that he couldn't remember precisely how much he'd had. He was also choosing to believe it had been James and not Sirius. He could handle James' careless charity but was unwilling to accept it from Sirius, especially since in the last couple of weeks, Sirius had become even more intent on making things up to Remus, despite Remus' protestations that there was nothing to make up. Sirius didn't understand--he never would. Neither would Peter, Remus thought a little viciously as Peter continued to start up at him. Not that Peter ever tried, and maybe that's what annoyed Remus more.
"I have enough on my own," Remus said as he clutched as his coins again and turned back to the path. "You can give him back my share."
Peter didn't answer, only just followed along again as they walked single file along the ridge to where they had to jump across a stagnant stream and scramble up a small ditch before coming up behind a row of ramshackled houses. Remus stopped short as he turned toward the alley behind the Hog's Head Inn and for a moment thought he spotted Sirius. He hated the little jump he felt in stomach at the sight of him and was relieved (or so he told himself) when he realized it wasn't Sirius at all but Regulus.
Regulus was pale, frightened, Remus would have said, as he clutched his wand in his fist though he seemed to have forgotten it. A great, hulking man was with him, and though Remus didn't recognize him, he felt sure he must know him from somewhere. For a second, Remus thought perhaps
it was some seventh year, some part of an inter-house fight that he definitely wanted no part of, but just as he was going to turn away, something made him look closer.
The man had his great, dirty hand curled around the lapel of Regulus' robe and was leaning into him, using his greater height against Regulus. Remus could see the man was older, his thick mat of hair graying, and his old, cheap black robes were stretched tight around his shoulders. He definitely wasn't a student.
"What's wrong?" Peter asked when he finally caught up to Remus.
"It's Regulus," Remus whispered. "I don't know who he's with though."
Peter stretched up onto his toes to see over Remus' shoulder, and drew in a sharp breath before he pressed his back against the wall. "We have to get out of here," he whispered, the panic clear in his voice.
"Who is it?"
"Fenrir Grayback," Peter hissed back, his eyes gone wide with fear.
Remus' hand flew to the old scar on his shoulder, massaging it through his clothes, but Peter didn't notice as he tripped over his words and feet, beginning to move back the way they'd come. "He's bad." Peter glanced at Remus and then away, becoming embarrassed as he always did now when Remus' lycanthropy was mentioned. "Not like you," he stuttered out as an afterthought.
Remus knew that Peter blamed him for the things that had happened that year, and it stung a bit to think that he'd underestimated Peter--that maybe Peter understood better than either James or Sirius just how dangerous Remus could be. He knew then that it wasn't embarrassment on Peter's face but fear and disgust, and not just for Grayback. Remus hunched his shoulders a bit as he stared at where Grayback and Regulus stood arguing, suddenly afraid of himself in a way he never had been before.
"My brother told me about him," Peter kept on, oblivious to Remus' discomfort. "He bites people on purpose, they say. He bites little kids."
"Yeah," Remus whispered. "I know."
Peter gasped as he finally seemed to realize that it could have been Grayback who bit Remus, and he grabbed Remus' arm, tugging him away. "We have to get out of here."
"We can't leave Regulus." Remus withdrew his wand with shaking fingers, unsure of what he meant to do.
"You can't face him by yourself!" Peter whispered, his voice barely above a wheeze.
Remus turned his head to look back over his shoulder and saw that Peter's pale, round face was suddenly beaded with sweat as he moved further away from Remus. Remus said nothing about Peter's by yourself. He understood Peter's fear now and hated it--hated himself, but he knew he couldn't leave Sirius' brother to face Grayback alone. Sirius would never forgive him.
"It's all right, Peter," Remus whispered back, trying to force his voice to sound more confident than he felt. "Run back to the castle--take the main road, it'll be quicker. You have to get Sirius."
Peter nodded once then took a stumbling step toward Remus, his hand outstretched as if he might try to dray Remus along with him before he turned tail and ran. Remus watched him go, feeling a bit as if he'd been hit with a jelly leg jinx. He wanted to follow, wanted to find some adult to tell but he knew it would be too late. He knew Grayback didn't always wait for a full moon to strike, and while that might mean that Regulus wouldn't be infected, Grayback could still hurt him or worse.
Remus rested his forehead against the cool, rough brick of the back of the Hog's Head Inn, gathering his courage, before he stepped around the corner and fully into the alley. For a moment, neither Regulus nor Grayback noticed him, and Remus watched as Grayback pushed a meaty finger into Regulus' chest, emphasizing some point that Remus couldn't hear. Remus forced his feet to move forward, and it was the sound of his heels crunching on the gravel that finally drew their attention.
"All right, Regulus?" Remus asked, hoping that he sounded calmer than he felt.
"Friend of yours, Black?" The man sneered, showing a rose of yellowed and sharpened teeth. Regulus inched away as far as he could, turning his face in disgust and fear.
"Let him go," Remus called as he raised his wand with a shaking hand.
"I don't think I will, pup. Young Master Black and me has business." Grayback narrowed his eyes at Remus, only just lifting his chin to sniff at the air between them. "Now there's a familiar scent."
Remus said nothing to Grayback though fear coiled in the pit of his stomach, and took care not to look at him. He only took another step closer, close enough to curl his fingers into the sleeve of Regulus' jacket. "Come on, Reggie," Remus said, using Sirius' old nickname for his brother, and Regulus blinked, looking for a moment like the eleven year old boy Remus had first met on the train to Hogwarts, and so much like Sirius that Remus forgot to be afraid. He tugged Regulus away more firmly, and heard Regulus' cloak tear as Grayback kept his hold, but Remus didn't let go.
"That ain't polite, is it?" Grayback stepped closer to Regulus, his golden eyes narrowed to slits as he kept them focused on Regulus' neck, licking at lips as if hungry. "I was sent with a message for the young Black, and I mean to give it to him."
"You can't have any business with a Hogwart's student," Remus said calmly.
"Can't I now?" Grayback spared a glance to Remus' wand before he turned back to Regulus, dismissing Remus completely. He pressed his gnarled thumbnail against Regulus' throat and Regulus gasped, his eyes closing. "And what would you know--"
Remus swung his arm up, leveling his wand at Grayback, shouting his Stupefy before Grayback could finish his sentence. Grayback was lifted up and away by the force of the spell, smashing into the wall opposite him and falling into the dust and dirt. Remus grabbed Regulus by his arm and pushed him away. Grayback was on his hands and knees, shaking his head to clear it. He'd not been knocked out as Remus had hoped, but only just stunned. When he finally raised unsteadily to his feet, swaying a bit and digging his long nails into the mortar between the bricks for support, Remus pushed Regulus again, this time toward the end of the alley.
"Go back to the castle!" He yelled, pushing at Regulus again as he kept his wand pointed toward Grayback.
"He's a werewolf, Remus!" Regulus cried, frantically clutching at Remus' shoulder.
"I know what he is! I'll hold him back. You get out of here!"
Grayback rose fully to his feet, still shaking his head, but his eyes were on Remus now. Remus pushed Regulus for the last time toward the line of shacks and the woods beyond. "Go!" Remus shouted at him. "Go get Sirius!" At his brother's name, Regulus nodded his head and finally took off running as Grayback's laughter echoed through the alley behind him.
"Lupin," Grayback wheezed out once they were alone. He sniffed at the air between them again and laughed once more as he rubbed his chest where Remus' spell had hit. "Oh yes. I remember you. You were so small but how you screamed for that worthless father of yours. I remember that night well."
"You can't," Remus whispered. Stunned. "You can't know who I am. You can't remember me. The wolf takes over. Consciousness--"
Grayback began to laugh again, moving closer to where Remus stood. "They've told you that being a werewolf makes us animals. Sent you to this school and trained you to be like one of them. i would have taken you, raised you amongst your own kind, and then you would have been free."
"Education will grant me the freedom of thought and--"
"There's John Lupin. You sound just like him, fool that he was. Thought he could raise a werewolf cub to be a wizard."
"I am a wizard."
"You're at their mercy. They're the weak ones, pup. They cower in fear at the very thought of us." Lightening fast, Grayback grabbed Remus' shirt and pulled his collar aside to expose the bite he knew was there, the place where Remus had first been bitten, and Remus recoiled. "I created you. I made you strong."
"You made me a monster!"
"A monster!" Grayback roared, dropping Remus so quickly that Remus tottered and was swept aside to his hands and knees in the dirt when Grayback backhanded him. Remus could taste copper in his mouth and he raised his shaking fingers to his lip, saw that they came away bloody. "This is how they've twisted your thoughts," Grayback ranted as he paced the alley in front of Remus. "We deserve blood, boy. You only have to embrace your true nature."
"No." Remus struggled to his feet, pointing his wand at Grayback again but Grayback took no noticed as he continued to pace.
"You'll join me. Join us! One day we shall rise against the wizards, you'll see."
"Never!"
Grayback abruptly stopped to stand in front of Remus, to press his broad chest against the tip of Remus' wand. "You will," he said, suddenly calm as that terrible smile stretched his mouth over his teeth so that Remus could see his canines sharpened to fangs. "I do remember you. Do you never remember any of your time as a wolf?"
Remus said nothing but he could--or thought he could--remember. Not before, not from when he'd transform alone, but now he had the strange memories that would come to him sometimes unbidden, as if they were part of a dream--of a stag, a rat, and particularly of a large, black dog with whom would run and play. Remus shook his head, sure that these couldn't be of the full moon nights--unwilling to remember seeing the moon heavy and bright against the field of stars, to feel the earth beneath his paws. To know his pack.
"You do," Grayback whispered. "I know, pup. I know because I remember you. I remember how you tasted and how you screamed. How you cried. I remember how good it felt, and I knew exactly what it would be like when John Lupin found you, no longer his son but mine."
"Stop it," Remus breathed out.
"One day you'll rise up and become what you were meant to be. Maybe this next moon, yeah? Maybe we'll hunt together. Maybe you'll see what it's like. How it can be."
Remus raised his wand again, trying to remember the words of the spell--any spell--that would stop the string of words coming from Grayback. He couldn't bear to hear them because he was seized with the fear that maybe he couldn't help what he would become. The things that he would one day do. I am a wizard, he wanted to shout, and cut his wand in front of him, jabbing at Grayback.
"Remus!"
Remus jerked at the sound of James' voice, turning to see where he and Peter stood at the front of the alley where the Hog's Head faced the street. He saw the stream of bright blue light and knew that it hadn't come from his wand but James'. It was still enough. Grayback skittered away from him and this time when Remus shouted his spell, the blast of light was his own though it exploded harmlessly against the side of the building as Grayback ran toward the end of the alley and the wood beyond.
For what seemed like forever, Remus couldn't move, his wand still pointed at the place where Grayback had been, until James was at his side and forcing his hand down.
"Are you all right?" James asked, his face creased in worry.
Peter stood behind James, his face bright red. He bent double at his waist, his hand braced on his knees as he gasped for breath. "Ran. All. The. Way."
"What were you thinking?" James yelled at Remus, pushing him against the wall, where Remus sagged, grateful for its support.
"Regulus."
"You should have come for us."
"I sent Peter. I couldn't leave Regulus on his own."
"And where is he now?"
"I told him to run for the castle. For Sirius."
"We didn't see him on the road," James said as he pushed his hand through his hair. "Sirius is here in Hogsmeade. He came with-- It doesn't matter. You risked your life for a Slytherin. He didn't give a thought about you."
"Sirius wouldn't have forgiven me."
"Bollocks. He'd have been furious if something happened to you."
"I can take care of myself."
"Obviously. You do such a bang up job. You do know you're bleeding."
Remus swiped at his mouth with the back of his shaking hand before he stowed his wand away and started to straighten his clothing.
"We'll tell McGonagall," James said after a minute and Remus shook his head. "Fenrir Grayback's is this close to Hogswart and you think we're not going to tell."
"I knew they finally gave the prefect's badge to the right person."
"Fuck you, Remus," James said but without any power behind his words. He huffed out a breath and then grabbed Remus, pulling him in to press their foreheads together, squeezing Remus' neck before he let him go. James laughed, though there was no humor in it, and dug into his pocket for the two way mirror he shared with Sirius. "Fucking taking on Fenrir Grayback by yourself. Sirius is going to kill you."
Remus grabbed James' hand, covering the mirror. "Don't tell him. I don't need his protection."
"Nothing left to protect, is there?"
"I don't want him to go after Grayback. You know he will."
"And you don't think Regulus will tell him?"
"No, not if he hasn't already. Sirius would have been here if he had."
"All right, so you don't want McGonagall to know and you don't want Sirius to know. Anyone else?"
Remus looked at Peter, including him, before he let go of James' hand and the mirror. "I don't want anyone to know. I just want to forget it ever happened."
"Right. We won't tell, but promise me you won't come out by yourself again. Not while he's out there," James said, waving his hand toward the forest. Remus looked down at his feet, giving James half a nod but didn't answer. It seemed enough, though, especially as James clapped him on the back and started to lead him and Peter back out to the proper streets of Hogsmeade. "We'll have to do something about your lip, though," James said, grinning at him. "Lily'll fix you up. If we can find her."
next.
Author: Dani (
escribo)Word count: 3100
Rating: PG-13 (language, slight violence)
(Pairings: in the future will be Remus/Sirius, Lily/James)
Timeline: June 1977
Disclaimer: All Harry Potter characters are the property of J.K. Rowling and Bloomsbury/Scholastic. No copyright infringement is intended. I've not made nor seek any profit.
Year 1: one/ two/ three/ four/ five/ six/ seven
Year 2: one/ two/ three/ four
Year 3: one/ two/three/four
Year 4 (coming in the future when work quits eating my brains! Sorry for the out-of-order-ness)
Year 5 one/ two/ three/ four/ five/ six/ seven/ eight
Year 6 one/ two/ three/ four/ five/ six/ seven
"Remus?"
"Yeah?"
"Can I ask you a question?"
Remus didn't answer Peter right away. He suspected he knew the question and that he didn't have an answer, at least not one that Peter would like. Instead, he lengthened his strides to walk a bit faster, making Peter trot on the trail behind him. They were on their way to Hogsmeade, following a path through the forest because Remus was avoiding James and Sirius, though he'd sworn to Peter he wasn't when Peter had begun to follow him.
"Remus?"
Remus could hear Peter's steps falling flat footed on the path and his breathing becoming a little labored. He half expected him to turn back, knowing that Peter hadn't wanted to come with him at all but did so because, Remus assumed, James had asked him to.
"C'mon, Remus," Peter whinged.
Remus stopped short, burying his hands deep into the pockets of his faded denims, and looked up at the tops of the trees and the blue sky beyond. It was warm, and this would likely be his last chance to come to Hogsmeade before the end of the school year, his last chance before he had to go home. He didn't want to leave Hogwarts, even though being with his friends had become oddly lonelier than being in the little house by the river without his father to fill up the empty spaces.
"Did James tell you to follow me?" He asked Peter once Peter had caught up.
"No." Peter picked at the scab on his elbow, quiet until Remus quit tracking a hawk across the sky and looked back at him. "Yes."
"You can go back if you want. I won't tell."
"It's okay. I don't mind. We're almost there anyway."
Remus looked at Peter for another long minute, his eyes narrowed. In Remus' pocket were twelve silver sickles and fifteen bronze knuts, the last of his pocket money, and he meant to get enough parchment to last through summer, a small tin of biscuits to take to his mother, and then spend the rest at the tiny, used bookstore on the edge of town. He curled his hand around the coins, knowing that Peter would balk at the bookstore.
"What did James want you to do?" He asked after another minute of silence between them.
"Just go with you. So you wouldn't be alone. He gave me money to get us some butterbeers."
Remus twisted his lips but didn't answer right away. He already suspected that either James or Sirius had slipped some extra sickles into his pocket--not enough for Remus to know for sure, and it annoyed him that he couldn't remember precisely how much he'd had. He was also choosing to believe it had been James and not Sirius. He could handle James' careless charity but was unwilling to accept it from Sirius, especially since in the last couple of weeks, Sirius had become even more intent on making things up to Remus, despite Remus' protestations that there was nothing to make up. Sirius didn't understand--he never would. Neither would Peter, Remus thought a little viciously as Peter continued to start up at him. Not that Peter ever tried, and maybe that's what annoyed Remus more.
"I have enough on my own," Remus said as he clutched as his coins again and turned back to the path. "You can give him back my share."
Peter didn't answer, only just followed along again as they walked single file along the ridge to where they had to jump across a stagnant stream and scramble up a small ditch before coming up behind a row of ramshackled houses. Remus stopped short as he turned toward the alley behind the Hog's Head Inn and for a moment thought he spotted Sirius. He hated the little jump he felt in stomach at the sight of him and was relieved (or so he told himself) when he realized it wasn't Sirius at all but Regulus.
Regulus was pale, frightened, Remus would have said, as he clutched his wand in his fist though he seemed to have forgotten it. A great, hulking man was with him, and though Remus didn't recognize him, he felt sure he must know him from somewhere. For a second, Remus thought perhaps
it was some seventh year, some part of an inter-house fight that he definitely wanted no part of, but just as he was going to turn away, something made him look closer.
The man had his great, dirty hand curled around the lapel of Regulus' robe and was leaning into him, using his greater height against Regulus. Remus could see the man was older, his thick mat of hair graying, and his old, cheap black robes were stretched tight around his shoulders. He definitely wasn't a student.
"What's wrong?" Peter asked when he finally caught up to Remus.
"It's Regulus," Remus whispered. "I don't know who he's with though."
Peter stretched up onto his toes to see over Remus' shoulder, and drew in a sharp breath before he pressed his back against the wall. "We have to get out of here," he whispered, the panic clear in his voice.
"Who is it?"
"Fenrir Grayback," Peter hissed back, his eyes gone wide with fear.
Remus' hand flew to the old scar on his shoulder, massaging it through his clothes, but Peter didn't notice as he tripped over his words and feet, beginning to move back the way they'd come. "He's bad." Peter glanced at Remus and then away, becoming embarrassed as he always did now when Remus' lycanthropy was mentioned. "Not like you," he stuttered out as an afterthought.
Remus knew that Peter blamed him for the things that had happened that year, and it stung a bit to think that he'd underestimated Peter--that maybe Peter understood better than either James or Sirius just how dangerous Remus could be. He knew then that it wasn't embarrassment on Peter's face but fear and disgust, and not just for Grayback. Remus hunched his shoulders a bit as he stared at where Grayback and Regulus stood arguing, suddenly afraid of himself in a way he never had been before.
"My brother told me about him," Peter kept on, oblivious to Remus' discomfort. "He bites people on purpose, they say. He bites little kids."
"Yeah," Remus whispered. "I know."
Peter gasped as he finally seemed to realize that it could have been Grayback who bit Remus, and he grabbed Remus' arm, tugging him away. "We have to get out of here."
"We can't leave Regulus." Remus withdrew his wand with shaking fingers, unsure of what he meant to do.
"You can't face him by yourself!" Peter whispered, his voice barely above a wheeze.
Remus turned his head to look back over his shoulder and saw that Peter's pale, round face was suddenly beaded with sweat as he moved further away from Remus. Remus said nothing about Peter's by yourself. He understood Peter's fear now and hated it--hated himself, but he knew he couldn't leave Sirius' brother to face Grayback alone. Sirius would never forgive him.
"It's all right, Peter," Remus whispered back, trying to force his voice to sound more confident than he felt. "Run back to the castle--take the main road, it'll be quicker. You have to get Sirius."
Peter nodded once then took a stumbling step toward Remus, his hand outstretched as if he might try to dray Remus along with him before he turned tail and ran. Remus watched him go, feeling a bit as if he'd been hit with a jelly leg jinx. He wanted to follow, wanted to find some adult to tell but he knew it would be too late. He knew Grayback didn't always wait for a full moon to strike, and while that might mean that Regulus wouldn't be infected, Grayback could still hurt him or worse.
Remus rested his forehead against the cool, rough brick of the back of the Hog's Head Inn, gathering his courage, before he stepped around the corner and fully into the alley. For a moment, neither Regulus nor Grayback noticed him, and Remus watched as Grayback pushed a meaty finger into Regulus' chest, emphasizing some point that Remus couldn't hear. Remus forced his feet to move forward, and it was the sound of his heels crunching on the gravel that finally drew their attention.
"All right, Regulus?" Remus asked, hoping that he sounded calmer than he felt.
"Friend of yours, Black?" The man sneered, showing a rose of yellowed and sharpened teeth. Regulus inched away as far as he could, turning his face in disgust and fear.
"Let him go," Remus called as he raised his wand with a shaking hand.
"I don't think I will, pup. Young Master Black and me has business." Grayback narrowed his eyes at Remus, only just lifting his chin to sniff at the air between them. "Now there's a familiar scent."
Remus said nothing to Grayback though fear coiled in the pit of his stomach, and took care not to look at him. He only took another step closer, close enough to curl his fingers into the sleeve of Regulus' jacket. "Come on, Reggie," Remus said, using Sirius' old nickname for his brother, and Regulus blinked, looking for a moment like the eleven year old boy Remus had first met on the train to Hogwarts, and so much like Sirius that Remus forgot to be afraid. He tugged Regulus away more firmly, and heard Regulus' cloak tear as Grayback kept his hold, but Remus didn't let go.
"That ain't polite, is it?" Grayback stepped closer to Regulus, his golden eyes narrowed to slits as he kept them focused on Regulus' neck, licking at lips as if hungry. "I was sent with a message for the young Black, and I mean to give it to him."
"You can't have any business with a Hogwart's student," Remus said calmly.
"Can't I now?" Grayback spared a glance to Remus' wand before he turned back to Regulus, dismissing Remus completely. He pressed his gnarled thumbnail against Regulus' throat and Regulus gasped, his eyes closing. "And what would you know--"
Remus swung his arm up, leveling his wand at Grayback, shouting his Stupefy before Grayback could finish his sentence. Grayback was lifted up and away by the force of the spell, smashing into the wall opposite him and falling into the dust and dirt. Remus grabbed Regulus by his arm and pushed him away. Grayback was on his hands and knees, shaking his head to clear it. He'd not been knocked out as Remus had hoped, but only just stunned. When he finally raised unsteadily to his feet, swaying a bit and digging his long nails into the mortar between the bricks for support, Remus pushed Regulus again, this time toward the end of the alley.
"Go back to the castle!" He yelled, pushing at Regulus again as he kept his wand pointed toward Grayback.
"He's a werewolf, Remus!" Regulus cried, frantically clutching at Remus' shoulder.
"I know what he is! I'll hold him back. You get out of here!"
Grayback rose fully to his feet, still shaking his head, but his eyes were on Remus now. Remus pushed Regulus for the last time toward the line of shacks and the woods beyond. "Go!" Remus shouted at him. "Go get Sirius!" At his brother's name, Regulus nodded his head and finally took off running as Grayback's laughter echoed through the alley behind him.
"Lupin," Grayback wheezed out once they were alone. He sniffed at the air between them again and laughed once more as he rubbed his chest where Remus' spell had hit. "Oh yes. I remember you. You were so small but how you screamed for that worthless father of yours. I remember that night well."
"You can't," Remus whispered. Stunned. "You can't know who I am. You can't remember me. The wolf takes over. Consciousness--"
Grayback began to laugh again, moving closer to where Remus stood. "They've told you that being a werewolf makes us animals. Sent you to this school and trained you to be like one of them. i would have taken you, raised you amongst your own kind, and then you would have been free."
"Education will grant me the freedom of thought and--"
"There's John Lupin. You sound just like him, fool that he was. Thought he could raise a werewolf cub to be a wizard."
"I am a wizard."
"You're at their mercy. They're the weak ones, pup. They cower in fear at the very thought of us." Lightening fast, Grayback grabbed Remus' shirt and pulled his collar aside to expose the bite he knew was there, the place where Remus had first been bitten, and Remus recoiled. "I created you. I made you strong."
"You made me a monster!"
"A monster!" Grayback roared, dropping Remus so quickly that Remus tottered and was swept aside to his hands and knees in the dirt when Grayback backhanded him. Remus could taste copper in his mouth and he raised his shaking fingers to his lip, saw that they came away bloody. "This is how they've twisted your thoughts," Grayback ranted as he paced the alley in front of Remus. "We deserve blood, boy. You only have to embrace your true nature."
"No." Remus struggled to his feet, pointing his wand at Grayback again but Grayback took no noticed as he continued to pace.
"You'll join me. Join us! One day we shall rise against the wizards, you'll see."
"Never!"
Grayback abruptly stopped to stand in front of Remus, to press his broad chest against the tip of Remus' wand. "You will," he said, suddenly calm as that terrible smile stretched his mouth over his teeth so that Remus could see his canines sharpened to fangs. "I do remember you. Do you never remember any of your time as a wolf?"
Remus said nothing but he could--or thought he could--remember. Not before, not from when he'd transform alone, but now he had the strange memories that would come to him sometimes unbidden, as if they were part of a dream--of a stag, a rat, and particularly of a large, black dog with whom would run and play. Remus shook his head, sure that these couldn't be of the full moon nights--unwilling to remember seeing the moon heavy and bright against the field of stars, to feel the earth beneath his paws. To know his pack.
"You do," Grayback whispered. "I know, pup. I know because I remember you. I remember how you tasted and how you screamed. How you cried. I remember how good it felt, and I knew exactly what it would be like when John Lupin found you, no longer his son but mine."
"Stop it," Remus breathed out.
"One day you'll rise up and become what you were meant to be. Maybe this next moon, yeah? Maybe we'll hunt together. Maybe you'll see what it's like. How it can be."
Remus raised his wand again, trying to remember the words of the spell--any spell--that would stop the string of words coming from Grayback. He couldn't bear to hear them because he was seized with the fear that maybe he couldn't help what he would become. The things that he would one day do. I am a wizard, he wanted to shout, and cut his wand in front of him, jabbing at Grayback.
"Remus!"
Remus jerked at the sound of James' voice, turning to see where he and Peter stood at the front of the alley where the Hog's Head faced the street. He saw the stream of bright blue light and knew that it hadn't come from his wand but James'. It was still enough. Grayback skittered away from him and this time when Remus shouted his spell, the blast of light was his own though it exploded harmlessly against the side of the building as Grayback ran toward the end of the alley and the wood beyond.
For what seemed like forever, Remus couldn't move, his wand still pointed at the place where Grayback had been, until James was at his side and forcing his hand down.
"Are you all right?" James asked, his face creased in worry.
Peter stood behind James, his face bright red. He bent double at his waist, his hand braced on his knees as he gasped for breath. "Ran. All. The. Way."
"What were you thinking?" James yelled at Remus, pushing him against the wall, where Remus sagged, grateful for its support.
"Regulus."
"You should have come for us."
"I sent Peter. I couldn't leave Regulus on his own."
"And where is he now?"
"I told him to run for the castle. For Sirius."
"We didn't see him on the road," James said as he pushed his hand through his hair. "Sirius is here in Hogsmeade. He came with-- It doesn't matter. You risked your life for a Slytherin. He didn't give a thought about you."
"Sirius wouldn't have forgiven me."
"Bollocks. He'd have been furious if something happened to you."
"I can take care of myself."
"Obviously. You do such a bang up job. You do know you're bleeding."
Remus swiped at his mouth with the back of his shaking hand before he stowed his wand away and started to straighten his clothing.
"We'll tell McGonagall," James said after a minute and Remus shook his head. "Fenrir Grayback's is this close to Hogswart and you think we're not going to tell."
"I knew they finally gave the prefect's badge to the right person."
"Fuck you, Remus," James said but without any power behind his words. He huffed out a breath and then grabbed Remus, pulling him in to press their foreheads together, squeezing Remus' neck before he let him go. James laughed, though there was no humor in it, and dug into his pocket for the two way mirror he shared with Sirius. "Fucking taking on Fenrir Grayback by yourself. Sirius is going to kill you."
Remus grabbed James' hand, covering the mirror. "Don't tell him. I don't need his protection."
"Nothing left to protect, is there?"
"I don't want him to go after Grayback. You know he will."
"And you don't think Regulus will tell him?"
"No, not if he hasn't already. Sirius would have been here if he had."
"All right, so you don't want McGonagall to know and you don't want Sirius to know. Anyone else?"
Remus looked at Peter, including him, before he let go of James' hand and the mirror. "I don't want anyone to know. I just want to forget it ever happened."
"Right. We won't tell, but promise me you won't come out by yourself again. Not while he's out there," James said, waving his hand toward the forest. Remus looked down at his feet, giving James half a nod but didn't answer. It seemed enough, though, especially as James clapped him on the back and started to lead him and Peter back out to the proper streets of Hogsmeade. "We'll have to do something about your lip, though," James said, grinning at him. "Lily'll fix you up. If we can find her."
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NO.
That's NOT how you handle this.
*shakes Remus*
Damn it. DAMN IT, BOYS. *shakes all of them*
Mind you, this is all the best kinds of frustration, of course. The frustration that has me wanting more more more more! ^.^
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How late am I answering comments! Definitely know that I appreciate that you read the story and let me know what you think!
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He could handle James' careless charity but was unwilling to accept it from Sirius
I love that phrase, that careless charity that could sound so bitter or so resigned, depending on Remus' mood. And the entire dialogue between Fenrir and Remus is so terrifying and good. You really went new places in your writing there, and it's really exciting to see.
"Fuck you, Remus," James said but without any power behind his words. He huffed out a breath and then grabbed Remus, pulling him in to press their foreheads together, squeezing Remus' neck before he let him go. James laughed, though there was no humor in it, and dug into his pocket for the two way mirror he shared with Sirius. "Fucking taking on werewolves by yourself. Sirius is going to kill you."
OH JAMES. *heartclench* I love when you have the two of them speaking together, and it was really fascinating to see him arrive rather than Sirius here. It really just worked for me. All of this was just fantastic. <3
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You have no idea how happy this fic makes me. When I saw that it was updated I totally did a happy dance :)
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I'm soooo late in answering comments! Definitely know that I appreciate that you read the story and let me know what you think!
More, more, more
Re: More, more, more
So late in answering comments! So sorry! I really do appreciate them.
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(i'm curious whether or not reg is going to tell sirius or if he ever finds out that remus takes on werewolves on his own...somebody fix them please?)
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How late am I answering comments! Definitely know that I appreciate that you read the story and let me know what you think!
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Worth the wait, as always!
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I can't believe how late I am in answering comments! I really do appreciate that you read the story and let me know what you think!
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Every time I'm away from fanfiction for too long, I always start with your story first, and I'm always reminded of why I like fanfiction so much.
GOD SO MUCH HERE
SO MUCH
<3
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