Jun. 13th, 2011 09:05 pm
Fic: These Four Kings (Year Six 7/9)
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fox_confessorTitle: These Four Kings (Year Six 7/9)
Author: Dani (![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
escribo)
Word Count: 2100~
Rating: PG-13 (language)
(Pairings: in the future will be Remus/Sirius, Lily/James)
Timeline: Late April, 1977
Disclaimer: All Harry Potter characters are the property of J.K. Rowling and Bloomsbury/Scholastic. No copyright infringement is intended. I've not made nor seek any profit.
Year 1: one/ two/ three/ four/ five/ six/ seven
Year 2: one/ two/ three/ four
Year 3: one/ two/three/four
Year 4 (coming in the future when work quits eating my brains! Sorry for the out-of-order-ness)
Year 5 one/ two/ three/ four/ five/ six/ seven/ eight
Year 6 one/ two/ three/ four/ five/ six
Lily pushed back her thick braid of hair from her shoulder and took a sidelong glance to where Remus walked beside her on their way up to the Gryffindor common room. It'd been weeks since whatever had happened between the marauders had happened. James wasn't talking, which was unusual for him, and he still refused to wear the prefect's badge that was suddenly and reluctantly his, only just holding it in his hand when forced to be seen with it. In fact, out of the four of them, only Peter seemed willing to talk, filling their meal times with a nervous chatter like the white noise between radio stations--Quidditch statistics, memorized bits of Transfiguration text and theory, stories about James--mostly about James, as if it were suddenly Peter's job to remind James about the minutiae of his life. Remus was just as suddenly either nowhere to be found or, if present at meals or classes, still and silent at a very sullen Sirius' side.
Of course, tonight Remus had been at Lily's side as a favor, though just as stiff and silent. She'd expected him to turn down her request to accompany her to Professor Slughorn's gathering. She hadn't even wanted to come. She dreaded the company of the Slug Club, the members of which nearly all intent to prove to Professor Slughorn just why one of them should be chosen to serve as his research assistant in the next year. Severus had been all but guaranteed the slot, everyone knew--or thought they knew--but there had been much excitement when it because known that he wouldn't be coming to the gathering and speculation ran wild about why.
With the field seeming to suddenly open up, Professor Slughorn expected to be fêted and hadn't been disappointed. Asking James to join her had seemed too much like playing into that, as if James was some sort of prize to be had--as if she would have been trying to impress. Besides, she could imagine his exact expression had she asked--he'd start with that infuriating know-it-all smirk that would slowly blossom into a bright grin that so many of the other girls swooned over. Not that Lily was totally immune to James' charms, especially since she'd finally figured out what some of them were, but she wasn't going to let him know that--his ruddy head was big enough, she thought, though she had to admit, if even only just to herself, that she kind of missed seeing his smile.
Remus, she had decided, would be the perfect not-date as they were friends and so could talk--when he was willing to talk--but they wouldn't be talked about afterward. Better, he'd agreed with almost no pleading on her part, which she had been prepared to do. And now it was over, dinner and a discussion led by Slughorn that had only veered toward the awkward a couple of times--once with Slughorn questioning Remus as if it were the first time they'd met, and the second a strange little conversation with Regulus Black, who had practically crowed in triumphant every time he'd visible unsettled Remus or Lily with some pointed remark about pureblood politics. Remus had taken it all in stride, much better, in fact, than Lily had. Her slow burn had resulted in comments about her temper and her red hair, jests and jibs that had left her boiling over until Slughorn had finally broken up his little party and sent them all scurrying back to their rooms.
"It wasn't too terrible, was it?" Lily asked Remus, still prickling with embarrassment over her part of it. "I mean, you won't tell James about it, will you?"
"I think he'd find it funny. He'd admire you for standing up to Regulus like you did," Remus said, but his voice was flat--dull--and it maybe Lily frown as he continued on. "So would Sirius for that matter."
"Ugh. Promise me you won't tell either of them." When he didn't answer, a frown of his own twisting his lips, Lily linked her arm through his and tugged him into an alcove. She didn't like this new introspective Remus. She missed his rather dry sense of humor and the way he used to get so enthusiastic over their classes or the books he'd read. He hadn't done that in ages and she realized quite suddenly that she missed him, even though he was still right there, same as always. "You don't hate me for making you go, do you?"
"Of course not. It was fine."
"I know you hate that sort of thing."
"I didn't mind getting out of the room for a bit."
"Are you still fighting with Sirius?" She hadn't meant to ask, had quite resolved not to, actually, but the words tumbled out before she could stop herself. It had quite firmly become The Thing Nobody Talked About, even when nobody knew what the thing was. "I'm sorry. Just ignore me."
"It's all right. We're not fighting, not really. It's just complicated."
"I doubt things are ever easy when a Black is involved."
"He's not like his family, you know. I mean, he tries really hard not to be."
"Sometimes we can't help who we are, though. Like Regulus tonight. He was awful."
"And Sirius is nothing like him." It was the most animated Lily had seen Remus in weeks and she had to admire his ability to defend his friend when they'd clearly fallen out, even if she couldn't understand it, at least not when it came to Sirius. As if suddenly catching up to himself, Remus deflated a bit and crossed his arms over his chest. "Would you mind if I asked a favor?"
"I suppose I owe you one," Lily said.
"Don't tell James what Regulus said tonight. He'll tell Sirius and they've both been in enough trouble for me as it is."
"If you'd rather, though I wouldn't mind seeing Sirius give Regulus a go. He was completely out of line. You can't believe any of the things he's said."
"Not about the pureblood stuff, no. I don't even think he believes that rubbish. Not really. There just seems to be so much pressure on him."
"Don't tell me you feel sorry for him."
"I do, actually."
"I wouldn't waste too much time feeling sorry for either of the Black brothers," Lily said a little viciously, but she couldn't quite ignore the way Remus furrowed his brow and rushed to change the subject. "But what about the rumor of the dark creatures gathering in The Forbidden Forest. You don't believe that, do you?" Lily watched as Remus very carefully arranged his features into something terrible bland, terrible neutral, and she wished she hadn't brought that up either. She had known it was going to be a long night and wished now she had listened to Sirius when he'd cornered her earlier and asked her not to bring Remus along--to take him anywhere else if only it wasn't Slughorn's party. She thought Sirius was a complete pain in the arse but she couldn't deny he'd been right. "It's just that Sirius said--"
"Yes, well." Remus' lips twitched to the side in a way that Lily knew meant he was embarrassed for speaking sharply to her, for interrupting. He began to twist his fingers together, turning to face her more completely and to turn his back on the other students who were rushing to get back to the common room before curfew. "Sirius says a lot of things--too much sometimes, especially when his temper gets the better of him. He can't afford to get into another fight over me."
"Did he hurt you?" Lily asked quietly, willing to believe the worst about Sirius Black but Remus didn't answer. Instead, he seemed to be mulling over what she'd said as he slid his hands into the pockets of his robe. There was a sadness in his eyes that never seemed to leave him now, and Lily rushed in again, hating the silence. "I only meant-- If you wanted to talk about it, I'd listen. I mean, you trusted me before," she whispered, looking past him to make sure no one else could hear.
"I do trust you, Lily, but this is different."
"I can't imagine anything being a bigger secret than--" Lily stopped short of saying the word werewolf but Remus' eyes still widened in fear. "Than what you told me on your birthday," she said instead. "I only meant that if you are Sirius are-- I mean, I thought maybe if you were--"
Remus remained quiet, watching her struggle with something akin to curiosity as she continued to stumble over her words until she finally stopped altogether. Since James had somehow managed to become more of a close friend than anything else over the last couple of months, she found herself in an odd position regarding Sirius. She'd meant it when she said she couldn't have pity for either of the Black brothers, and Sirius certainly wasn't her friend, but he wasn't quite the enemy she'd always thought him to be, especially since this whatever-it-was had happened between the boys and he began to seek her out when he thought that Remus needed something. She wondered now if Remus had any idea how many times Sirius had come to her to make sure Remus wasn't alone when it seemed that Remus particularly needed a friend.
"Ignore me," she whispered. "It's just that you can tell me anything."
"I'm all right, really Lily. I'm--"
"Fine. Yes, I know." Lily covered her face with her hands and laughed nervously before she suddenly tossed her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. "I bet you drive Black crazy telling him that, the arrogant toad. Whatever he did to you--"
"He didn't do anything. What happened was my fault."
"It can't have been. I won't believe that. Especially since I know that James is mad at him, too."
"Not anymore, and neither am I. I mean, I never was. It's just--"
"Complicated, I know. Just-- If you ever want to talk about it--about anything--I'm here. I mean, I'll listen."
"And not just because Sirius asks you to be."
"So you do know," Lily said as she held him out at arm's length.
"He's not as subtle as he'd like to think."
"I suppose not. I think he means well," Lily admitted.
"As well as a Black can?"
"You have to admit he's a bit of a prat. I know he's your friend--"
"He's my best friend, Lily," Remus said quietly. He pulled away from her, and straightened his robes a bit, not meeting her eyes at all. She could see that his cuff was rather ragged, the repaired seam unraveling a bit as he picked at a thread as he struggled around some thought. It was a full minute before he looked up at her. "I'm not mad at him, and this whole thing really is my fault. I'm just not sure it's something that can be fixed."
"I'm sure it can. You know it kills me to say it but he really does care for you. I've seen it. Don't look at me like that. C'mon," she said as she tucked her arm into his again as they began to walk the rest of the way to the tower. "And I promise I won't tell James about anything that happened tonight but you know he'll find out and make things right. He always does, pain in the arse."
"I know," Remus said and Lily thought it might be the first time that night she'd seen him smile, and she couldn't help the strange rush of gratitude she suddenly felt towards James. Even when he wasn't there, he managed to make her feel better, and she really wasn't sure she was ready to face that discovery. She knew something gave her away when Remus' smile grew into a grin.
"Not another word, Remus Lupin. Now you have to promise to keep my secret, too."
"I will, Lily," Remus said as he laughed, and at the sound Lily wanted to hug him again even though she could hear six years worth of teasing behind it. She could at least tell James that she made Remus laugh and knew that Sirius might be grateful for that much at least, if he could be grateful to her for anything. Even if it didn't, she was already anticipating James' smile and knew that would be enough for her. And for once, she was okay with that.
next.
Author: Dani (
escribo)
Word Count: 2100~
Rating: PG-13 (language)
(Pairings: in the future will be Remus/Sirius, Lily/James)
Timeline: Late April, 1977
Disclaimer: All Harry Potter characters are the property of J.K. Rowling and Bloomsbury/Scholastic. No copyright infringement is intended. I've not made nor seek any profit.
Year 1: one/ two/ three/ four/ five/ six/ seven
Year 2: one/ two/ three/ four
Year 3: one/ two/three/four
Year 4 (coming in the future when work quits eating my brains! Sorry for the out-of-order-ness)
Year 5 one/ two/ three/ four/ five/ six/ seven/ eight
Year 6 one/ two/ three/ four/ five/ six
Lily pushed back her thick braid of hair from her shoulder and took a sidelong glance to where Remus walked beside her on their way up to the Gryffindor common room. It'd been weeks since whatever had happened between the marauders had happened. James wasn't talking, which was unusual for him, and he still refused to wear the prefect's badge that was suddenly and reluctantly his, only just holding it in his hand when forced to be seen with it. In fact, out of the four of them, only Peter seemed willing to talk, filling their meal times with a nervous chatter like the white noise between radio stations--Quidditch statistics, memorized bits of Transfiguration text and theory, stories about James--mostly about James, as if it were suddenly Peter's job to remind James about the minutiae of his life. Remus was just as suddenly either nowhere to be found or, if present at meals or classes, still and silent at a very sullen Sirius' side.
Of course, tonight Remus had been at Lily's side as a favor, though just as stiff and silent. She'd expected him to turn down her request to accompany her to Professor Slughorn's gathering. She hadn't even wanted to come. She dreaded the company of the Slug Club, the members of which nearly all intent to prove to Professor Slughorn just why one of them should be chosen to serve as his research assistant in the next year. Severus had been all but guaranteed the slot, everyone knew--or thought they knew--but there had been much excitement when it because known that he wouldn't be coming to the gathering and speculation ran wild about why.
With the field seeming to suddenly open up, Professor Slughorn expected to be fêted and hadn't been disappointed. Asking James to join her had seemed too much like playing into that, as if James was some sort of prize to be had--as if she would have been trying to impress. Besides, she could imagine his exact expression had she asked--he'd start with that infuriating know-it-all smirk that would slowly blossom into a bright grin that so many of the other girls swooned over. Not that Lily was totally immune to James' charms, especially since she'd finally figured out what some of them were, but she wasn't going to let him know that--his ruddy head was big enough, she thought, though she had to admit, if even only just to herself, that she kind of missed seeing his smile.
Remus, she had decided, would be the perfect not-date as they were friends and so could talk--when he was willing to talk--but they wouldn't be talked about afterward. Better, he'd agreed with almost no pleading on her part, which she had been prepared to do. And now it was over, dinner and a discussion led by Slughorn that had only veered toward the awkward a couple of times--once with Slughorn questioning Remus as if it were the first time they'd met, and the second a strange little conversation with Regulus Black, who had practically crowed in triumphant every time he'd visible unsettled Remus or Lily with some pointed remark about pureblood politics. Remus had taken it all in stride, much better, in fact, than Lily had. Her slow burn had resulted in comments about her temper and her red hair, jests and jibs that had left her boiling over until Slughorn had finally broken up his little party and sent them all scurrying back to their rooms.
"It wasn't too terrible, was it?" Lily asked Remus, still prickling with embarrassment over her part of it. "I mean, you won't tell James about it, will you?"
"I think he'd find it funny. He'd admire you for standing up to Regulus like you did," Remus said, but his voice was flat--dull--and it maybe Lily frown as he continued on. "So would Sirius for that matter."
"Ugh. Promise me you won't tell either of them." When he didn't answer, a frown of his own twisting his lips, Lily linked her arm through his and tugged him into an alcove. She didn't like this new introspective Remus. She missed his rather dry sense of humor and the way he used to get so enthusiastic over their classes or the books he'd read. He hadn't done that in ages and she realized quite suddenly that she missed him, even though he was still right there, same as always. "You don't hate me for making you go, do you?"
"Of course not. It was fine."
"I know you hate that sort of thing."
"I didn't mind getting out of the room for a bit."
"Are you still fighting with Sirius?" She hadn't meant to ask, had quite resolved not to, actually, but the words tumbled out before she could stop herself. It had quite firmly become The Thing Nobody Talked About, even when nobody knew what the thing was. "I'm sorry. Just ignore me."
"It's all right. We're not fighting, not really. It's just complicated."
"I doubt things are ever easy when a Black is involved."
"He's not like his family, you know. I mean, he tries really hard not to be."
"Sometimes we can't help who we are, though. Like Regulus tonight. He was awful."
"And Sirius is nothing like him." It was the most animated Lily had seen Remus in weeks and she had to admire his ability to defend his friend when they'd clearly fallen out, even if she couldn't understand it, at least not when it came to Sirius. As if suddenly catching up to himself, Remus deflated a bit and crossed his arms over his chest. "Would you mind if I asked a favor?"
"I suppose I owe you one," Lily said.
"Don't tell James what Regulus said tonight. He'll tell Sirius and they've both been in enough trouble for me as it is."
"If you'd rather, though I wouldn't mind seeing Sirius give Regulus a go. He was completely out of line. You can't believe any of the things he's said."
"Not about the pureblood stuff, no. I don't even think he believes that rubbish. Not really. There just seems to be so much pressure on him."
"Don't tell me you feel sorry for him."
"I do, actually."
"I wouldn't waste too much time feeling sorry for either of the Black brothers," Lily said a little viciously, but she couldn't quite ignore the way Remus furrowed his brow and rushed to change the subject. "But what about the rumor of the dark creatures gathering in The Forbidden Forest. You don't believe that, do you?" Lily watched as Remus very carefully arranged his features into something terrible bland, terrible neutral, and she wished she hadn't brought that up either. She had known it was going to be a long night and wished now she had listened to Sirius when he'd cornered her earlier and asked her not to bring Remus along--to take him anywhere else if only it wasn't Slughorn's party. She thought Sirius was a complete pain in the arse but she couldn't deny he'd been right. "It's just that Sirius said--"
"Yes, well." Remus' lips twitched to the side in a way that Lily knew meant he was embarrassed for speaking sharply to her, for interrupting. He began to twist his fingers together, turning to face her more completely and to turn his back on the other students who were rushing to get back to the common room before curfew. "Sirius says a lot of things--too much sometimes, especially when his temper gets the better of him. He can't afford to get into another fight over me."
"Did he hurt you?" Lily asked quietly, willing to believe the worst about Sirius Black but Remus didn't answer. Instead, he seemed to be mulling over what she'd said as he slid his hands into the pockets of his robe. There was a sadness in his eyes that never seemed to leave him now, and Lily rushed in again, hating the silence. "I only meant-- If you wanted to talk about it, I'd listen. I mean, you trusted me before," she whispered, looking past him to make sure no one else could hear.
"I do trust you, Lily, but this is different."
"I can't imagine anything being a bigger secret than--" Lily stopped short of saying the word werewolf but Remus' eyes still widened in fear. "Than what you told me on your birthday," she said instead. "I only meant that if you are Sirius are-- I mean, I thought maybe if you were--"
Remus remained quiet, watching her struggle with something akin to curiosity as she continued to stumble over her words until she finally stopped altogether. Since James had somehow managed to become more of a close friend than anything else over the last couple of months, she found herself in an odd position regarding Sirius. She'd meant it when she said she couldn't have pity for either of the Black brothers, and Sirius certainly wasn't her friend, but he wasn't quite the enemy she'd always thought him to be, especially since this whatever-it-was had happened between the boys and he began to seek her out when he thought that Remus needed something. She wondered now if Remus had any idea how many times Sirius had come to her to make sure Remus wasn't alone when it seemed that Remus particularly needed a friend.
"Ignore me," she whispered. "It's just that you can tell me anything."
"I'm all right, really Lily. I'm--"
"Fine. Yes, I know." Lily covered her face with her hands and laughed nervously before she suddenly tossed her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. "I bet you drive Black crazy telling him that, the arrogant toad. Whatever he did to you--"
"He didn't do anything. What happened was my fault."
"It can't have been. I won't believe that. Especially since I know that James is mad at him, too."
"Not anymore, and neither am I. I mean, I never was. It's just--"
"Complicated, I know. Just-- If you ever want to talk about it--about anything--I'm here. I mean, I'll listen."
"And not just because Sirius asks you to be."
"So you do know," Lily said as she held him out at arm's length.
"He's not as subtle as he'd like to think."
"I suppose not. I think he means well," Lily admitted.
"As well as a Black can?"
"You have to admit he's a bit of a prat. I know he's your friend--"
"He's my best friend, Lily," Remus said quietly. He pulled away from her, and straightened his robes a bit, not meeting her eyes at all. She could see that his cuff was rather ragged, the repaired seam unraveling a bit as he picked at a thread as he struggled around some thought. It was a full minute before he looked up at her. "I'm not mad at him, and this whole thing really is my fault. I'm just not sure it's something that can be fixed."
"I'm sure it can. You know it kills me to say it but he really does care for you. I've seen it. Don't look at me like that. C'mon," she said as she tucked her arm into his again as they began to walk the rest of the way to the tower. "And I promise I won't tell James about anything that happened tonight but you know he'll find out and make things right. He always does, pain in the arse."
"I know," Remus said and Lily thought it might be the first time that night she'd seen him smile, and she couldn't help the strange rush of gratitude she suddenly felt towards James. Even when he wasn't there, he managed to make her feel better, and she really wasn't sure she was ready to face that discovery. She knew something gave her away when Remus' smile grew into a grin.
"Not another word, Remus Lupin. Now you have to promise to keep my secret, too."
"I will, Lily," Remus said as he laughed, and at the sound Lily wanted to hug him again even though she could hear six years worth of teasing behind it. She could at least tell James that she made Remus laugh and knew that Sirius might be grateful for that much at least, if he could be grateful to her for anything. Even if it didn't, she was already anticipating James' smile and knew that would be enough for her. And for once, she was okay with that.
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:)
I really like how James and Lily are coming together. I've always sort of wondered how that would happen, since most R/S fics start at "She's giving me a chance!" and it makes so much sense that it would be comfort. I know the feeling well of that one person that makes all the shittiness feel okay. Like you're dizzy until you're with them. Then things are stable - secure.
And Awwwwww Sirius, that's so sweet - I like that he's respecting Remus' boundaries.
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I think he's only begrudgingly respecting the boundaries. Like he really doesn't want to but then annoying Remus wasn't working so he's trying another tactic. This is the problem of telling the story from a different pov each time--we don't see everything else that's going on.
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Not that Lily was totally immune to James' charms, especially since she'd finally figured out what some of them were, but she wasn't going to let him know that
and this:
When he didn't answer, a frown of his own twisting his lips, Lily linked her arm through his and tugged him into an alcove. She didn't like this new introspective Remus. She missed his rather dry sense of humor and the way he used to get so enthusiastic over their classes or the books he'd read. He hadn't done that in ages and she realized quite suddenly that she missed him, even though he was still right there, same as always.
That's *lovely.* And then this:
She'd meant it when she said she couldn't have pity for either of the Black brothers, and Sirius certainly wasn't her friend, but he wasn't quite the enemy she'd always thought him to be, especially since this whatever-it-was had happened between the boys and he began to seek her out when he thought that Remus needed something. She wondered now if Remus had any idea how many times Sirius had come to her to make sure Remus wasn't alone when it seemed that Remus particularly needed a friend.
That's a real turning point for Lily, there, and while she's always been a bit more mature than they were, they're catching up, and with that, all these bonds are tightening. ♥
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Hurray!
Re: Hurray!
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So good. SO GOOD. Made my hangover today just that much more bearable ^.^
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