Nov. 30th, 2011 07:09 pm
Fic: Times Like These (HP: Remus/Sirius)
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fox_confessorTitle: Times Like These
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escribo
Word Count: 7393
Rating: R
Notes/comments: Thanks tokiltsandlollies, mypretty_art, and pavlablack for the encouragement, the beta, and the hand holding :D It's much appreciated. Inspired by Broken Wand by ravengrimm
"I have to go."
"What do you mean, you have to go?"
"Go," Remus said, stepping away when Sirius reached for him. "Leave. Separate myself from you and your drunken friends."
"Idiot. They're your drunken friends, too," Sirius said without heat as he followed Remus out of the flat Sirius shared with James and onto the landing. He pulled the door shut behind him before turning back to join Remus on the first step down, crowding him. "I meant why."
"I have to run an errand for my dad."
"At nearly half past eleven?"
"It has to be done tonight."
"Why didn't you say earlier?"
"You didn't ask."
"I have to ask every time now?" Sirius slid his fingers along Remus' clavicle, and gently pressed his thumb against the soft dip in Remus' throat so that he could feel his pulse thrum. "I thought you'd stay the night."
Remus blushed, a new habit that had come with the beginning of this thing between him and Sirius, one that Sirius liked because it felt like a secret between them--a bigger secret. A different one, one just for them. "I thought about it."
"Tell me you think about anything else."
"Rarely," Remus confessed, his blush deepening, though Sirius only felt the heat beneath his fingers rather than saw it in the dim stairwell. "It's mad how often I think about you."
"Yeah? So stay and I'll show you what I was thinking about."
Remus slid his hand into Sirius' hair, tugging him down and into a fierce kiss, and Sirius went gladly, hoping that it meant he'd won. He stepped closer, pressing his body against Remus', his hands sliding beneath the hem of Remus' sweater vest and shirt to touch skin, cursing him for wearing so much clothing. They bumped noses, breathing out their laughter before Sirius kissed Remus again, moving his lips over Remus's lips and cheek in a quick succession of tiny kisses in his bid to nibble on Remus' neck, pulling him closer, knowing Remus couldn't resist when Sirius kissed him like that. He groaned when Remus ducked away, taking another couple of steps down before he leaned against the wall.
"I hate it when he's right."
"Who?" Sirius asked as he walked down to stand even with Remus.
"My dad. He told me not to come here first. I have to do this thing tonight. I promised, and I can't put it off." Remus took another step, almost to the next landing now. "I shouldn't have come at all. He told me not to."
"You can't stay away from me."
"Something very much like that. He thinks you're bad--" Remus paused--hesitated just long enough for Sirius to gather what Mr. Lupin thought of him, though Remus shook his head and tried again. "He thinks you're a bad influence for me."
"What do you think?"
"I think he doesn't know about this." Remus took a step up and hooked his finger through the necklace Sirius always wore, balancing the small moon charm on his thumb. "He doesn't know what you've done for me--what you do. He doesn't know how much I--"
Remus dropped his hand, releasing Sirius but staying close, and fumbled through the pockets of his jeans for a cigarette and a lighter, coming up empty-handed on both counts. Sirius knew Remus' dad didn't like him to smoke, and Remus had promised he'd quit after they left Hogwarts. Two months later, he'd been mostly successful. It was only when it was close to the full, or they were stretched out naked on Sirius' bed, or when he was nervous that Remus succumbed. As the full was still more than a few days away and they weren't anywhere near a mattress, that only left the last option, and Sirius bit back a small smile, hoping he knew how that sentence ended.
"Sorry," Sirius whispered, but he knew he didn't sound very repentant at all. From the look on Remus' face, he didn't think so either. Sirius leaned his shoulder against the wall and buried his hands into his pockets to keep from reaching out for Remus again.
"For what?"
"Trying to make you stay."
"It's all right. As much as I love watching Prongs continue to strike out with Evans even after he's convinced her to marry him, I really did just come to see you tonight."
"You could come back when you're done and see a lot more of me."
"I'll have to go to my dad after. He'll want to make sure it's done."
"What's done?"
"The thing."
"Clears that up. Another kiss then, before you leave? I promise not to touch."
"Don't make promises you can't keep."
Sirius grinned and stepped down onto the landing, his hands firmly in his pockets as he bent his head. Remus kissed him, pulling Sirius closer with a firm hand on the back of his neck before he pulled away.
"I really have to go. I'm already late."
"At least tell me where you're going."
"I can't talk about it--"
Sirius frowned, something in Remus' tone making him reach out again, scowling when Remus danced just out of his reach. "What do you mean, you can't talk about it? Where--"
"I just meant I'm late, Sirius, and getting later. I have to go."
One more kiss, and then Sirius watched as Remus headed down the stairs and listened until he heard the main door open and squeak closed. Sirius stood there for a minute, biting his lip as he debated whether or not he wanted to go back inside yet. The sounds of the party rose and fell in a strange ebb and flow that would doubtless have the neighbors calling the Muggle police again, and the noise was suddenly too much. Sirius didn't feel like going back inside, not when he knew that Remus wouldn't be back. He could have sworn that Remus had said he'd stay this weekend, too, and he frowned, trying to remember their conversation of a few days before. There certainly hadn't been any mention of an errand.
Sirius took one step back toward his flat before he changed his mind and ran down the stairs two at a time. He was sure that Remus had said he'd stay the night, and equally sure that Remus would have apparated away by now before he could try to persuade him otherwise again. Out on the street, Sirius turned to go down the alley they sometimes used and watched--surprised--as Remus turned the corner at the end of their street, jogging across a line of cars as he made for the Tube station. Sirius followed, more than a little curious. Since they'd received their Apparition license at the end of sixth year, brooms, buses and tubes had been declared déclassé, Sirius' motorbike the only exception.
There was a heavy haze hanging in the station, and Sirius fumbled with the change in his pockets to get a ticket, hoping he had enough Muggle coins. He was worried that he'd lose Remus as he finally navigated the maze of stairs and halls to the train track below, guessing that Remus would be headed south based on nothing more than the knowledge that north was where he lived. Twice Sirius thought to turn around to go back home, feeling foolish to follow when he couldn't have said why he did, or to call out to Remus so that he didn't feel quite so furtive, but didn't. Something told him to remain in the shadows, just out of sight, to follow silently.
He almost missed the train when it came, and worried as it rattled along that he'd miss when Remus, two cars up, got off. When Remus did disembark, it was nearly the last stop on the line and the station was deserted. Sirius waited until the last moment to hop off the train, lingering behind as long as he dared until he thought to change into Padfoot. It was easier then, to trail along behind Remus and remain unseen once they were back above ground.
The boarded up cash and carry shops and sad rows of dirty flats soon gave way to abandoned warehouses and industrial shops, their fences sagging and the pavement cracked in places beneath his paws. Sirius didn't recognize where they were at all and could only follow Remus' scent, still afraid to come too close, knowing that Remus would recognize him instantly even as Padfoot. The streets were mostly deserted, and as Remus crossed ahead of him, Sirius could tell that Remus had his wand out as he slipped behind a gate, his soft curse coming to Padfoot's sharp ears as Remus caught and ripped his shirt. He disappeared then, the dark maw of the building swallowing him up, and dread seized Sirius.
It was then that Sirius caught another scent, one he almost couldn't place though it was familiar. He sat back on his haunches and lifted his great shaggy head, sniffing at the air, before he saw another figure jog across the street and carefully make its way through the same broken gate. Padfoot loped down the street, still keeping to the shadows until he had to cross the street to find the break in the gate. He walked forward carefully, still sniffing the air, as he, too, found his way through.
Sirius shifted back onto two legs and pressed himself against the rough brick. He held his breath and listened, realizing then that he didn't have his wand. He had never thought he'd need it when he had first followed Remus out into the stairwell. It was too late to turn back, he knew, and he was afraid the sound of apparition would set off whatever danger Remus was walking into, and Sirius had no doubt on that point. There was danger here. Sirius did the only thing he felt he could do--move forward silently into the building.
At the end of the long corridor the room opened up into a wide space, filled with strange machinery. Sirius could see Remus outlined in the bright blue light from his Lumos charm. He crept forward, trying to make out the whispered words he could just barely hear, trying to see who else was there--whom Remus was meeting--but the sound was swallowed up by the vastness of the space. Sirius tried to move closer but ducked and froze when his foot connected with a bottle, sending it rattling away.
"Who's there?" Remus called out as he swung toward the noise, his face ghostly pale as he searched the shadows.
"We should go."
"Wait." The light from Remus' wand dimmed as he turned back to his companion, distracted. "I'll pass along your message, but let's just make the exchange, too."
"Not here. Not now. It's too dangerous."
"You can't change your mind now."
"I'm not! I'm not changing my mind but you have no idea what he's capable of. He'll destroy me if he finds out I've met with you."
"He's not going to find out."
"He'll know. He always knows."
"Just--let's make the exchange. I'll tell Dumbledore what you said. He'll know what to do."
Sirius watched as Remus and Regulus each held out their hands, exchanging something, though he couldn't begin to guess what it might be. He was too stunned at the mention of Dumbledore, that it was their old headmaster who had sent Remus out to meet his brother like this--that Remus had never told him. He took a step back, meaning to leave when Remus did, planning to confront him before he had the chance to apparate away but another sound caught his attention. It was footsteps, more than one set, and they were coming closer.
"Someone's definitely here," Regulus hissed as he took several steps away from Remus, who extinguished his wand. "I shouldn't have come."
"Just go back the way we came, but wait until you're out of the building to apparate. They won't know you've been."
"They'll kill you if they find you!"
"Go! We promised your safety."
"No one is safe anymore."
"Go!" Remus yelled as the first blaze of red light lit up the cavernous warehouse, exploding in a shower of sparks just above Sirius' head. "Run!"
Sirius stood, meaning to go to Remus' aid though he had no idea how he'd fight without a wand, when Regulus ran into him, knocking them both to the floor. Over his shoulder came another flash of red and he watched as three hooded figures materialized suddenly, stunning Remus before he could cast his first spell. "No!" Sirius cried out, trying desperately to untangle himself from his brother.
"Search everywhere and find whoever he was meeting," screeched a voice that Sirius instantly recognized as belonging to his cousin Bellatrix. "The Dark Lord will want to question them."
He watched as she grabbed a handful of Remus' hair and disapparated seconds before he felt the pull in his stomach and knew that Regulus had disapparated them away as well. There was nothing he could do, he knew, and only waited until they landed before he latched onto his brother, apparating them again back to the flat he shared with James. Once they landed the second time, Sirius pushed away from Regulus and struggled to his feet.
The room went silent, the Muggle record player scratching along at the end of the record, long forgotten. James was on the couch with Lily, one hand still beneath her thin jumper but his wand was already drawn. "What's going on?"
"That's what I want him to tell me," Sirius snarled as he pointed at Regulus.
"I have to go. It's not safe for me to be here."
"You're not going anywhere until you tell me what happened to Remus."
"What do you mean?" James asked as he got to his feet, pushing Lily to stand behind him. "What happened to Remus?"
"I can't help him," Regulus cried out, panicked, his eyes on Sirius. "No one can!"
"What do you mean, you can't help him? He was there to see you! He saved your life!"
"No! I mean yes, but I didn't know it was going to be Lupin. They just said--"
"Who said?" Sirius asked, cutting across Regulus' words.
"Dumbledore. He just said someone from the Order would be there to meet me."
"The Order? What are you talking about? Remus doesn't belong to--"
"You're so naive, mother always thought so; only worried about your boyfriend when there's a whole--"
At the mention of his mother, Sirius grabbed Regulus by the front of his shirt and shook him violently. "I don't care about your stupid little games, Regulus. Tell me what really happened to Remus. Where have they taken him?"
"Stop it, Sirius!" James pulled Sirius away from his brother and stood between them. "He's telling you the truth, or at least I know the Order exists. They approached me."
Sirius rounded on James, his mouth falling open. "And you didn't tell me?"
James looked away guiltily. "Professor Dumbledore said he'd talk to you when the time was right. He swore me to secrecy."
"And you think Remus took the same oath."
"If he's working for them, he would have had to."
"He would have told me."
"No, he wouldn't. You know he wouldn't have, not if Dumbledore asked it of him."
"Then we'll go to Dumbledore--"
"You can't!" Regulus stumbled backwards until his back hit the wall, his wand clutched in his shaking hand. "They'll know. They'll know it was me and they'll kill me."
"Better you than him."
"Sirius!"
"He's one of them, Lily." Sirius pushed past James and grabbed Regulus by the arm, pushing his sleeve up to show the mark on his arm. "Their little club isn't such a secret, is it? Murderers, the lot of them. What have you done with Remus?"
"I haven't done anything with him! I told you, Dumbledore said someone would be there to meet me."
"And why should we believe you? How do we know it wasn't you who set the trap? How do we know you didn't--"
"Because I want out, Sirius." Regulus slid down the wall until he could sit on the floor with his arms clasped around his knees. When he spoke again, his voice was quiet and trembled with fear. "I want out. I didn't know--in the beginning it was--"
"Fun?"
"No! A rush, but I didn't know the things they were planning--the things they wanted me to do. I want out. Dumbledore said he could get me out, but he wants information. I promised to give it to him."
"Why wouldn't Dumbledore have been there himself if it was so important?"
"I don't know. I just know that someone was supposed to come and your friend was there. I had a locket that the Dark Lord would give anything to protect, and I gave it to Lupin in exchange for a fake one. I was supposed to make the switch so that he wouldn't know, Dumbledore said, and then I was done."
"What's so important about the locket?" Sirius jumped at the sound of Lily's quiet voice. He'd almost forgotten she was there.
"I don't know."
"He's lying!" Sirius yelled and James grabbed his shoulder to keep him from getting close enough to throttle Regulus like Sirius wanted.
"I'm not. I'm not lying. I just--"
"Who else was there? I know it was Bellatrix. Who else did you tell?"
"No one. It was just me and Lupin before you showed up and then Bella. It must have been the Lestrange brothers. They must have followed me. Bellatrix hasn't trusted me for a while now."
James exchanged looks with Lily before he took his glasses off and began cleaning the lenses on his shirt tail. "We should go to Dumbledore. Take Regulus to him."
"There isn't time," Regulus said. "Remus has the real locket and if they find it on him, they'll kill him, if they haven't already."
"Where would they have taken him?"
"I don't know. They were planning some big attack near Hogsmeade but I don't know anything else. They didn't tell me."
"Who else would know?"
"I don't know. Lucius, maybe." Regulus dropped his head into his hands and scrubbed at his face, like he used to do as a young boy when he was in trouble. Sirius remembered comforting him, being the only one who could make things better and keep him safe from their mother.
Guilt blossomed heavily in Siruis' stomach. He knew there had been no one to protect Regulus in a long time. Dropping to his knees in front of Regulus, Sirius put his hand on his shoulder and squeezed, knowing it was too little too late for them both. "We'll go see him."
"You can't do that. You were branded a traitor the moment mum blasted you from family tree. He'll never talk to you. He'd never tell you anything."
"No, but he will if you ask."
"I can't go back, Sirius. You don't know what I've done."
Taking Regulus' arm again, Sirius bared the mark once more. "I have a good idea."
"It won't do any good," Regulus said, jerking his arm away though he couldn't quite meet Sirius' eyes. "The Dark Lord is too strong. You can't fight him."
"So I should just leave Remus to his fate?"
"This isn't helping Remus," James broke in, stepping between the brothers once more, pulling Sirius away. "We have to find out where he's being held now, before it's too late. You want out, Regulus, and we need to get Remus back. Start here."
Regulus stared at Sirius for a long moment, taking his measure, before he nodded. "I think-- I might know another way. I'll make things right, Sirius."
He was gone, then, apparated away with a loud crack, and Sirius stared at the space where he'd been.
"He'll be back, Sirius. Tell me what happened."
Sirius rolled his shoulders and pushed a shaky hand through his hair, accepting the wand James held out to him, the one Sirius had wished he'd thought to take with him when he'd followed Remus. "Tell me about the Order."
"I told you--"
"Don't, James. We don't keep secrets. If Remus had just told me--"
"He couldn't. He's shared everything with you, I know, but this is different."
"Tell him, James," Lily said. "It's time."
"You know as well?"
James sighed, hanging his head, and put his hands on his hips. Sirius knew that look as well as he knew himself. "All right, but not here--not now. We'll get Remus and then we'll talk. Together, all of us. We'll tell Professor Dumbledore that if one of is in, then we're all in."
"Then we're in?" Sirius asked though he already knew the answer.
"We have to be, Sirius. Regulus wasn't lying. Voldemort--"
"James!"
"No, Lily. You're right. It's time." James smoothed his hands over Lily's shoulders and kissed her forehead. "You should go home."
"You're not shutting me out."
"I'm not, but--"
"But nothing. If you won't go to Dumbledore then you're going to need my help."
Sirius could read the stupid, besotted grin that crossed James' face, too, and he shook his head. As he opened his mouth to chastise them both, he was interrupted by a loud crack of apparition. It wasn't Regulus, and Sirius wasn't surprised; he never expected him to come back--but it came as an even bigger shock to see who he sent instead. "Kreacher!"
"Kreacher is coming to the traitor's home as Master commanded though Kreacher's Mistress would not approve."
Sirius stared down at the ugly little house elf where it stood in the middle of the room pulling on its ears. "Regulus sent you."
"Nasty, whinging little beast that one has always has been, such a disappointment Mistress says," Kreacher croaked as if Sirius hadn't spoken, his beady eyes focused on his toes as he continued to mutter. "It would kill her, it would, if my mistress knew how the spawn lay with a dark creature, oh yes, we knows--"
"Answer me!" Sirius raised his hand to smack at Kreacher but James held him back again, pushing him to stand with Lily as he knelt in front of the house elf.
"Your Master Regulus sent you with a message, didn't he, Kreacher."
"Another traitor--"
"Yes, I am. I know. Terrible, awful, not worthy to be Wizards. Got it. The message, Kreacher."
Kreacher raised his head and tilted his long, pointed chin. "Master said Kreacher was to find out where they are keeping the werewolf and to say whether he lived or died."
"And?"
"He is alive."
"And where is he, Kreacher? Tell us and consider your duty here done."
"He is alive, but Mistress Bellatrix will kill him as soon as she tires of him."
"Where?" Sirius demanded.
"Outside of Hogsmeade, in the Olde Forest, where the centaurs used to gather." With that, the old house elf disappeared with deafening crack.
James, Lily, and Sirius continued to stare at the spot where Kreacher had stood, each considering his words until Sirius finally spoke. "I told you the little idiot was a true Slytherin. He only cares about saving his own neck."
"He sent Kreacher," James said, but he sounded unsure--uneasy.
"Can we trust what he said?" Lily asked.
"He couldn't have lied if Regulus told him to find out where Remus was and come to tell us. Besides, we don't have a choice now." James paced the room twice before he came to a stop in front of Lily and Sirius. "We'll apparate to the Forbidden Forest and then we'll find their camp from there. If they're that close to Hogwarts, then surely Dumbledore will know. He'll have something planned, I'm sure."
"What if he doesn't? We can't fight off an entire army."
"It won't be an army. Dumbledore has said that so far they've only struck at the homes of Muggle-born Wizards. He said they like to strike right before dawn, that he needed people like us to help protect them."
"You think that's what will happen tonight?"
"I don't know, Sirius. We'll send Lily to the castle through the passage in Honeydukes."
"James--"
"No, Lily. Sirius is right. We have to go now, and we have to make sure Dumbledore knows. I'm sure they didn't mean to keep a hostage. Sirius and I will find Remus, but we're counting on you to bring reinforcements."
Lily stared at James for a moment before she threw her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. "You'll be careful?"
"There's my girl. Of course we will."
She kissed him once--hard--and then was gone.
James put his hand on Sirius' shoulder and looked him in the eyes. "No more secrets."
"Right."
"So when were you going to tell me about you and Remus?"
"What?"
"I'm not angry. It's weird, but I get it. I think. You could have told me."
"I wasn't sure."
"About him or me?"
"I'm sure about him. I just didn't want things to change between us."
"They won't."
"He'll be all right, won't he?"
James pressed his forehead against Sirius' "We've always kept him safe, yeah?"
"Yeah."
"Are you ready to do it again?"
"Yeah."Sirius barely had the word out before he felt the tug in the pit of his stomach pull him forward as James apparated them away from the flat.
When they landed, Sirius fell to his knees on the soft pine needles that carpeted the forest floor. It was quiet and cool, dew just beginning to settle on the leaves and sparse grass as Sirius got to his feet. He watched as James straightened his glasses and his shirt, listening to the sounds of the forest around them.
"Where are we?" Sirius whispered.
"Our spot near Hagrid's cabin."
Sirius nodded. He recognized it now as the place where they would gather before the moon rose to corral the wolf back into the passage beneath the Whomping Willow. There was a stream nearby and a path that would lead them through the woods to Hogsmeade, one that students would take to sneak off the grounds. He knew, as James did, that if they followed it, it would likely lead them to the Death Eaters. It was their best hope to find them.
James drew his wand and began to pick his way down the path and Sirius followed silently, transforming into Padfoot to trot along at James' side. He could smell the rabbits, squirrels, and other small creatures that lived in the woods and had crossed this path a hundred times, but nothing else. They walked for a long time, Sirius nearly giving up, before he caught it--a faint but familiar scent that grew steadily stronger until finally Sirius transformed back.
"He's here."
"Can you smell him?"
"Her. Bellatrix. She came this way within the last few hours. Their camp must be ahead. Let's go."
"We can't just go charging in there, Sirius."
"If Remus is there---"
"I know but we need a diversion."
"What do you suggest?"
"I don't know. I'll think of something. Just wait for my signal before you go for Remus."
"What signal?"
"You'll know." James grinned in the second before he transformed into the stag and disappeared into the woods.
For a moment, it was as if they were back in school with mischief at hand, and Sirius grinned back, emboldened by James' confidence, but once he was alone, Sirius shivered in the cool night air, his wand clenched tight in his hand. With James gone, the forest seemed more ominous, and Sirius was tempted to change back into Padfoot. Before he could, there was a shout and a shot of red fireworks over the trees. Sirius took that as James' signal and took off running down the path, listening carefully, though the answering cries seemed to be headed in the opposite direction.
The trail opened out into a glade of soft grass next to the stream, and Sirius knew he must be close to the village now. There was a tent tucked in the shadows of the trees with only one man standing guard outside it, and Sirius felt his heart beat faster, knowing somehow that Remus must be inside. He took a step forward, a twig breaking beneath his foot, and gasped as the guard turned toward the sound, casting his Stupefy blindly.
Sirius dove to avoid the spell and cast his own, hearing the guard grunt as it hit him. He kept coming, though, shaking his head, and Sirius could see it was one of the Lestrange brothers. He raised his wand again, casting a different spell, one that rose like fog in the night. It was a call to arms, Sirius could see now as it took the shape of a great skull with a snake--the Dark Mark, like he'd seen on his brother's arm. The sight of it chilled Sirius, and he knew that there would be reinforcements coming soon.
"It's too late, boy. You're too late." This close Sirius could tell it was Rodolphus, his cousin's husband, and Sirius' lips curled in anger as he heard the sound of the man's wheezing laughter. "Unless you've come to join us, Sirius. The Dark Lord would certainly welcome you."
"I'd hardly want anything he'd have to offer."
"Not even to save the life of the mangy werewolf you call friend? He's a bit damaged now, but I'm sure his life could still be spared for the right price."
Sirius roared in anger, fearing what he would find once he reached Remus, and cast the darkest spell he could utter and still keep his soul--one his mother had taught him as useful in cowing her sisters when they were young. Rodolphus crumpled onto the ground, his dirty blond hair falling like a sheet over his suddenly pale face.
Sirius ran forward, ducking into the tent, falling to his knees at the sight of Remus. He was curled onto his side on the ground, his skin pale against the long gash that marred his cheek. Sirius pressed his palm against Remus' face, willing the bleeding to stop. "C'mon, Moony, be all right."
"Sirius?"
"It's me, Moony. Just be still."
"What are you doing here?"
"Rescuing you."
"Had them right where I wanted," Remus said weakly, trying to smile as he struggled to focus on Sirius' face.
"I could tell."
"How did you find me?"
"Regulus."
"He told you? Is he safe?"
"I don't know, Remus. I don't know that any of us are anymore." Sirius looked to the opening of the tent. He could hear explosions and see blasts of light though they still sounded far away. He hoped against hope that Lily had found help at the castle. "Can you stand? We have to get out of here."
Sirius helped Remus to his feet, catching him when he swayed. "Everything hurts but I'm all right," Remus whispered. "I just need a minute."
"I don't know that we have one. James led them away but they'll be back and there are anti-apparition wards up all over. We have to go."
"All right, I'm ready. Where's my wand?"
Sirius looked around the tent until he spotted Remus' wand in the dirt, as though it had been ground beneath someone's heel. There was a glint of silver and his stomach dropped at the sight of it, knowing it had been snapped. Remus saw it as well and drew in a sharp breath. "No--"
"Leave it, Remus. We have to--"
Sirius broke off as Remus fell to his knees once more and bent to pick up the pieces of his wand that were held together by nothing more than the strand of unicorn hair at its core, cradling them in his hand. He'd always taken far more care than his classmates in learning to master it though it had been given to him secondhand and had sometimes seemed to have a mind of its own. It had become more than just a focus for his magic, but another symbol of his humanity, and Sirius knew how much it must cost him to see it damaged.
"I'm sorry, Remus," Sirius murmured as he put his hand on Remus' shoulder. "We'll get you a new one, one of Olivander's."
"I'll never be able to afford that."
"I can."
"Sirius, I can't accept--"
"It's not about charity," Sirius bit out as he captured Remus' face between his hands. "You saved Regulus. I shouldn't have followed, I know, but I did, and I saw. You saved his life when he would have left you for dead."
The furrow between Remus' brow deepened as he considered Sirius' words. "You were there?"
"I'm sorry. I know it's meant to be a secret, and I won't tell, I solemnly swear, but I was worried. I-- " Sirius stopped and swallowed hard, searching Remus' eyes. He'd never said it before, not to anyone, and certainly had never believed in it like he did in that moment. "I love you, Remus. My family owes you this, all right?"
Remus looked down mournfully at the wand in his hand before closing his fist over the pieces. He nodded once before swiping his hand over his eyes. "I wanted to tell you but--"
"I know. Dumbledore swore you to secrecy."
"No. I mean, yes, he did but I'm not talking about that. I mean--" Remus' hiccuping laugh sounded almost like a sob after a moment, and Sirius pulled him close. "I almost told you earlier, before I left. I wasn't sure what would happen tonight and I wanted to tell you. I wanted you to know that I love you, too."
Sirius barked out a laugh, feeling lightheaded and reckless, as though he could take on the whole army of Death Eaters that Lily had feared. He surged forward, catching Remus' mouth in a hard kiss though he pulled back at the sound of Remus' whimper.
"I'm sorry," he whispered, still laughing as he ran his knuckle over the cut on Remus' lip. He kissed Remus more gently this time, avoiding his injuries as he helped Remus to his feet again. "Okay? All right? I'm sorry I hurt you. I can't believe you love me. Merlin! If Bellatrix finds us like this, she'll kill us both."
"I was afraid she was going to--"
"Don't say it, Moony. I can't bear it. We'll get you home and then--" Sirius paused with his arm around Remus' waist as they stood just at the threshold of the tent. "Listen? Do you hear that?"
"I don't hear anything."
"Exactly. We have to get out of here. We've lingered too long. C'mon."
Sirius carefully drew back the flap of the tent and looked out into the surrounding darkness. Rodolphus was gone, and there was no one near though the Dark Mark still wavered in the air above the glade. Despite the clear night and the moon that hung heavy above them, Sirius chanced a whispered Lumos spell to guide their way, hoping it didn't bring their enemies to them. He moved carefully forward, holding onto Remus' hand, knowing that they only needed to get to the stream and cross it to be able to apparate away. They were almost there when a rustling nearby startled them both. Sirius stepped in front of Remus and raised his wand, prepared to fight once more--prepared to do whatever he had to do to protect Remus.
"Lower your wand, boy," came the gruff call, and Sirius could feel Remus' fingers digging into his shoulder.
"Dad?" Remus called and Sirius watched as Remus' father emerged from the woods, his wand pointed steadily at them both. "How did you find us?"
"Tell me what song your mum used to sing to you when you were laid up sick."
"Dad?"
"Tell me!"
"I don't-- It was a poem, not a song. Afton. Flow gently, sweet Afton. It was a poem," Remus repeated, his fingers curling tightly into the thin material of Sirius' shirt. "What's going on?"
"I had to be sure it was you. I told you to be careful. I told you--"
"The Lestrange brothers were here, and--" Remus paused and Sirius felt rather than saw how Remus tensed, hating to say anything more.
"Bellatrix," Sirius said, then cleared his throat, still painfully aware of how Mr. Lupin kept his wand trained on his chest. He remembered quite suddenly the first time he'd met Remus' father--third year at King's Cross--and how Sirius' father had insulted them both with a sweeping look that had taken in their threadbare clothes, Remus' secondhand wand, and the battered bag that Remus had clutched tightly against his chest. Sirius felt the same slow burn of embarrassment as he had then, to be related to such people--to carry the name Black like a stone around his neck, and just like then, he wanted to apologize though he hadn't done anything than be unlucky in his birth. "James," he whispered instead. "He's in the forest."
"That slip of a girl came for Dumbledore and told him what happened," Mr. Lupin said, talking over Sirius as if he hadn't spoken at all. "We'd known, we were waiting for them. We've beaten them back to the ridge so I came down here. It won't be long now before it's over. Hagrid knows this forest better than they do."
"What about James?" Remus asked.
"I don't know. I didn't see him. I came looking for you. When you didn't come home and we saw that--" Mr. Lupin stopped and looked up at the Dark Mark. Sirius could see the same thought crossed his mind as it had Sirius--they had come too close to losing Remus tonight. "Come away now. Come with me. You're too young and I shouldn't have let Dumbledore talk me into letting you join. I should have sent you away with your mother when I had the chance."
"I wouldn't have gone."
"No, you'd just run off to London if I let you. I knew he would lead you to trouble." Mr. Lupin angrily jerked his chin toward Sirius and Remus took a step forward, the fragments of his wand hanging uselessly from his fingers.
"He hasn't. He came for me!"
"He's a Black," Mr. Lupin said with such finality that Sirius knew his name was as much a strike against him as if he'd taken the mark as his brother had. "I've warned you before. You've no idea--"
"He's a marauder first," Remus said with the same certainty, lifting his chin the same as his father had. "He came to find me like he always will."
"He's not one of us, Remus. Which side will he choose in the end, do you think?"
"I'll fight at Remus' side," Sirius bit out, finally finding his voice, "as I've always done."
Mr. Lupin stared hard into Sirius' eyes and Sirius straightened, determined not to be found wanting. Behind them, they could hear the battle as it raged on, though it was quieter now, further away. Sirius closed his fingers over Remus' wrist, pulling him closer, and saw when Mr. Lupin caught sight of the the necklace Sirius always wore. He recognized the moment Mr. Lupin made his decision, his eyes the same as his son's, before he turned back away to the forest path where he'd come. "They'll come for him now that they know who he is," he said as if to himself, defeated. "He should come with me. We could hide."
"We have to fight, dad," Remus said. "It's the only thing we can do."
"You're grown now. I suppose I've always known that. I just wanted--" Mr. Lupin sighed and took another step. "You should go. There's nothing more for either of you to do tonight. This is almost over but there will be more to come."
"I'll keep him safe," Sirius promised, and held his breath until Mr. Lupin nodded once and swiped his hands over his eyes before he disappeared into the trees.
Nearly two weeks later...
When Sirius awoke, he lay still for a long time watching the curl of smoke spiral toward the ceiling before disipating altogether. He was warm--almost too warm--but didn't want to move except to stroke his hand over Remus' sharp hipbone before resting it on his flat stomach.
"We should go soon," Remus murmured before he drew on his cigarette again.
"Sooner we go, sooner we can come back, right?"
"Lazy."
"I've been called worse." Sirius still didn't move, not even when Remus twisted to stub the cigarette out and pick up his new wand. It was ash this time, though still with a unicorn hair core, quite springy and long, and Sirius bit back a comparison he longed to make. There would be time for jokes, he knew, but right now he raised up on his elbow so that he could watch Remus' face as he tested the wand again, grinning when it responded to his whispered Lumos.
"Thank you," Remus said again and turned his smile to Sirius.
"You've thanked me twice already--quite thoroughly." Sirius let his hand slide lower on Remus' stomach, enjoying the slight intake of Remus' surprised breath as his fingers curled over Remus' cock. "Not that I'd turn you down for a third."
"We'll be late."
"Later, you mean."
Remus hooked his finger in Sirius' necklace and tugged him close so they could kiss, gently at first before it turned hungrier. When Remus finally pulled away to sit up, Sirius groaned into the still warm pillow.
"You'll come home with me, though, right? Your dad won't mind?" Sirius asked, though he knew Remus hadn't been home in days.
"He won't mind. Alistair Moody will if we're late, though. He's big on first impressions, and you already have a lot to overcome."
"I heard they call him Mad-Eye. That true?"
"Yeah."
"Why?
"You'll see."
Sirius drew his fingers down Remus' spine, enjoying the way Remus shivered at the contact, before he sat up and pressed his lips against Remus' shoulder and wrapped his arms around Remus' waist. "I'm afraid," he whispered into Remus' warm skin, half hoping he hadn't been heard.
"The famous Sirius Black of fabled Hogwarts legend, nervous? I know of several girls who--"
"Shut it," Sirius growled as he playfully bit Remus' neck before soothing it with kisses. "Before he disappeared," Sirius began before he stopped and took a deep breath.
They hadn't talked about Regulus since the night in the Forbidden Forest. All Remus' injuries were healed but he still had nightmares, Sirius knew, still woke up sometimes shaking violently in the middle of the night, and even Sirius could still see the Dark Mark hanging sickly green in a field of stars when he shut his eyes. Some wounds, he knew, would never be healed until this war--he struggled with the word even in his own mind though he knew now that it was true--was over.
Remus covered Sirius' hands with his and squeezed them gently, encouraging him, and Sirius held him tighter--as tight as he could.
"Regulus said," he tried again, pausing at the name before he pushed forward, "that Voldemort was too strong, that we couldn't win against him."
"Do you believe that?"
"I don't know what I believe."
Remus was quiet for a long time before he stood and turned to face Sirius, pulling him up to stand as well before he cupped Sirius' face in his hands. "Do you believe in us?"
"Yes," Sirius said fiercely, reaching up to hold onto Remus' wrists.
"And James? And Lily and Peter?"
"Yes, of course, but--"
"That's all there is, Sirius. That's all we need."
"And you think that will be enough?"
Remus smiled and stretched to kiss Sirius one last time before he rested their foreheads together. "It's always been enough for me."
Username:
escriboWord Count: 7393
Rating: R
Notes/comments: Thanks to
kiltsandlollies, mypretty_art, and pavlablack for the encouragement, the beta, and the hand holding :D It's much appreciated. Inspired by Broken Wand by ravengrimm
"I have to go."
"What do you mean, you have to go?"
"Go," Remus said, stepping away when Sirius reached for him. "Leave. Separate myself from you and your drunken friends."
"Idiot. They're your drunken friends, too," Sirius said without heat as he followed Remus out of the flat Sirius shared with James and onto the landing. He pulled the door shut behind him before turning back to join Remus on the first step down, crowding him. "I meant why."
"I have to run an errand for my dad."
"At nearly half past eleven?"
"It has to be done tonight."
"Why didn't you say earlier?"
"You didn't ask."
"I have to ask every time now?" Sirius slid his fingers along Remus' clavicle, and gently pressed his thumb against the soft dip in Remus' throat so that he could feel his pulse thrum. "I thought you'd stay the night."
Remus blushed, a new habit that had come with the beginning of this thing between him and Sirius, one that Sirius liked because it felt like a secret between them--a bigger secret. A different one, one just for them. "I thought about it."
"Tell me you think about anything else."
"Rarely," Remus confessed, his blush deepening, though Sirius only felt the heat beneath his fingers rather than saw it in the dim stairwell. "It's mad how often I think about you."
"Yeah? So stay and I'll show you what I was thinking about."
Remus slid his hand into Sirius' hair, tugging him down and into a fierce kiss, and Sirius went gladly, hoping that it meant he'd won. He stepped closer, pressing his body against Remus', his hands sliding beneath the hem of Remus' sweater vest and shirt to touch skin, cursing him for wearing so much clothing. They bumped noses, breathing out their laughter before Sirius kissed Remus again, moving his lips over Remus's lips and cheek in a quick succession of tiny kisses in his bid to nibble on Remus' neck, pulling him closer, knowing Remus couldn't resist when Sirius kissed him like that. He groaned when Remus ducked away, taking another couple of steps down before he leaned against the wall.
"I hate it when he's right."
"Who?" Sirius asked as he walked down to stand even with Remus.
"My dad. He told me not to come here first. I have to do this thing tonight. I promised, and I can't put it off." Remus took another step, almost to the next landing now. "I shouldn't have come at all. He told me not to."
"You can't stay away from me."
"Something very much like that. He thinks you're bad--" Remus paused--hesitated just long enough for Sirius to gather what Mr. Lupin thought of him, though Remus shook his head and tried again. "He thinks you're a bad influence for me."
"What do you think?"
"I think he doesn't know about this." Remus took a step up and hooked his finger through the necklace Sirius always wore, balancing the small moon charm on his thumb. "He doesn't know what you've done for me--what you do. He doesn't know how much I--"
Remus dropped his hand, releasing Sirius but staying close, and fumbled through the pockets of his jeans for a cigarette and a lighter, coming up empty-handed on both counts. Sirius knew Remus' dad didn't like him to smoke, and Remus had promised he'd quit after they left Hogwarts. Two months later, he'd been mostly successful. It was only when it was close to the full, or they were stretched out naked on Sirius' bed, or when he was nervous that Remus succumbed. As the full was still more than a few days away and they weren't anywhere near a mattress, that only left the last option, and Sirius bit back a small smile, hoping he knew how that sentence ended.
"Sorry," Sirius whispered, but he knew he didn't sound very repentant at all. From the look on Remus' face, he didn't think so either. Sirius leaned his shoulder against the wall and buried his hands into his pockets to keep from reaching out for Remus again.
"For what?"
"Trying to make you stay."
"It's all right. As much as I love watching Prongs continue to strike out with Evans even after he's convinced her to marry him, I really did just come to see you tonight."
"You could come back when you're done and see a lot more of me."
"I'll have to go to my dad after. He'll want to make sure it's done."
"What's done?"
"The thing."
"Clears that up. Another kiss then, before you leave? I promise not to touch."
"Don't make promises you can't keep."
Sirius grinned and stepped down onto the landing, his hands firmly in his pockets as he bent his head. Remus kissed him, pulling Sirius closer with a firm hand on the back of his neck before he pulled away.
"I really have to go. I'm already late."
"At least tell me where you're going."
"I can't talk about it--"
Sirius frowned, something in Remus' tone making him reach out again, scowling when Remus danced just out of his reach. "What do you mean, you can't talk about it? Where--"
"I just meant I'm late, Sirius, and getting later. I have to go."
One more kiss, and then Sirius watched as Remus headed down the stairs and listened until he heard the main door open and squeak closed. Sirius stood there for a minute, biting his lip as he debated whether or not he wanted to go back inside yet. The sounds of the party rose and fell in a strange ebb and flow that would doubtless have the neighbors calling the Muggle police again, and the noise was suddenly too much. Sirius didn't feel like going back inside, not when he knew that Remus wouldn't be back. He could have sworn that Remus had said he'd stay this weekend, too, and he frowned, trying to remember their conversation of a few days before. There certainly hadn't been any mention of an errand.
Sirius took one step back toward his flat before he changed his mind and ran down the stairs two at a time. He was sure that Remus had said he'd stay the night, and equally sure that Remus would have apparated away by now before he could try to persuade him otherwise again. Out on the street, Sirius turned to go down the alley they sometimes used and watched--surprised--as Remus turned the corner at the end of their street, jogging across a line of cars as he made for the Tube station. Sirius followed, more than a little curious. Since they'd received their Apparition license at the end of sixth year, brooms, buses and tubes had been declared déclassé, Sirius' motorbike the only exception.
There was a heavy haze hanging in the station, and Sirius fumbled with the change in his pockets to get a ticket, hoping he had enough Muggle coins. He was worried that he'd lose Remus as he finally navigated the maze of stairs and halls to the train track below, guessing that Remus would be headed south based on nothing more than the knowledge that north was where he lived. Twice Sirius thought to turn around to go back home, feeling foolish to follow when he couldn't have said why he did, or to call out to Remus so that he didn't feel quite so furtive, but didn't. Something told him to remain in the shadows, just out of sight, to follow silently.
He almost missed the train when it came, and worried as it rattled along that he'd miss when Remus, two cars up, got off. When Remus did disembark, it was nearly the last stop on the line and the station was deserted. Sirius waited until the last moment to hop off the train, lingering behind as long as he dared until he thought to change into Padfoot. It was easier then, to trail along behind Remus and remain unseen once they were back above ground.
The boarded up cash and carry shops and sad rows of dirty flats soon gave way to abandoned warehouses and industrial shops, their fences sagging and the pavement cracked in places beneath his paws. Sirius didn't recognize where they were at all and could only follow Remus' scent, still afraid to come too close, knowing that Remus would recognize him instantly even as Padfoot. The streets were mostly deserted, and as Remus crossed ahead of him, Sirius could tell that Remus had his wand out as he slipped behind a gate, his soft curse coming to Padfoot's sharp ears as Remus caught and ripped his shirt. He disappeared then, the dark maw of the building swallowing him up, and dread seized Sirius.
It was then that Sirius caught another scent, one he almost couldn't place though it was familiar. He sat back on his haunches and lifted his great shaggy head, sniffing at the air, before he saw another figure jog across the street and carefully make its way through the same broken gate. Padfoot loped down the street, still keeping to the shadows until he had to cross the street to find the break in the gate. He walked forward carefully, still sniffing the air, as he, too, found his way through.
Sirius shifted back onto two legs and pressed himself against the rough brick. He held his breath and listened, realizing then that he didn't have his wand. He had never thought he'd need it when he had first followed Remus out into the stairwell. It was too late to turn back, he knew, and he was afraid the sound of apparition would set off whatever danger Remus was walking into, and Sirius had no doubt on that point. There was danger here. Sirius did the only thing he felt he could do--move forward silently into the building.
At the end of the long corridor the room opened up into a wide space, filled with strange machinery. Sirius could see Remus outlined in the bright blue light from his Lumos charm. He crept forward, trying to make out the whispered words he could just barely hear, trying to see who else was there--whom Remus was meeting--but the sound was swallowed up by the vastness of the space. Sirius tried to move closer but ducked and froze when his foot connected with a bottle, sending it rattling away.
"Who's there?" Remus called out as he swung toward the noise, his face ghostly pale as he searched the shadows.
"We should go."
"Wait." The light from Remus' wand dimmed as he turned back to his companion, distracted. "I'll pass along your message, but let's just make the exchange, too."
"Not here. Not now. It's too dangerous."
"You can't change your mind now."
"I'm not! I'm not changing my mind but you have no idea what he's capable of. He'll destroy me if he finds out I've met with you."
"He's not going to find out."
"He'll know. He always knows."
"Just--let's make the exchange. I'll tell Dumbledore what you said. He'll know what to do."
Sirius watched as Remus and Regulus each held out their hands, exchanging something, though he couldn't begin to guess what it might be. He was too stunned at the mention of Dumbledore, that it was their old headmaster who had sent Remus out to meet his brother like this--that Remus had never told him. He took a step back, meaning to leave when Remus did, planning to confront him before he had the chance to apparate away but another sound caught his attention. It was footsteps, more than one set, and they were coming closer.
"Someone's definitely here," Regulus hissed as he took several steps away from Remus, who extinguished his wand. "I shouldn't have come."
"Just go back the way we came, but wait until you're out of the building to apparate. They won't know you've been."
"They'll kill you if they find you!"
"Go! We promised your safety."
"No one is safe anymore."
"Go!" Remus yelled as the first blaze of red light lit up the cavernous warehouse, exploding in a shower of sparks just above Sirius' head. "Run!"
Sirius stood, meaning to go to Remus' aid though he had no idea how he'd fight without a wand, when Regulus ran into him, knocking them both to the floor. Over his shoulder came another flash of red and he watched as three hooded figures materialized suddenly, stunning Remus before he could cast his first spell. "No!" Sirius cried out, trying desperately to untangle himself from his brother.
"Search everywhere and find whoever he was meeting," screeched a voice that Sirius instantly recognized as belonging to his cousin Bellatrix. "The Dark Lord will want to question them."
He watched as she grabbed a handful of Remus' hair and disapparated seconds before he felt the pull in his stomach and knew that Regulus had disapparated them away as well. There was nothing he could do, he knew, and only waited until they landed before he latched onto his brother, apparating them again back to the flat he shared with James. Once they landed the second time, Sirius pushed away from Regulus and struggled to his feet.
The room went silent, the Muggle record player scratching along at the end of the record, long forgotten. James was on the couch with Lily, one hand still beneath her thin jumper but his wand was already drawn. "What's going on?"
"That's what I want him to tell me," Sirius snarled as he pointed at Regulus.
"I have to go. It's not safe for me to be here."
"You're not going anywhere until you tell me what happened to Remus."
"What do you mean?" James asked as he got to his feet, pushing Lily to stand behind him. "What happened to Remus?"
"I can't help him," Regulus cried out, panicked, his eyes on Sirius. "No one can!"
"What do you mean, you can't help him? He was there to see you! He saved your life!"
"No! I mean yes, but I didn't know it was going to be Lupin. They just said--"
"Who said?" Sirius asked, cutting across Regulus' words.
"Dumbledore. He just said someone from the Order would be there to meet me."
"The Order? What are you talking about? Remus doesn't belong to--"
"You're so naive, mother always thought so; only worried about your boyfriend when there's a whole--"
At the mention of his mother, Sirius grabbed Regulus by the front of his shirt and shook him violently. "I don't care about your stupid little games, Regulus. Tell me what really happened to Remus. Where have they taken him?"
"Stop it, Sirius!" James pulled Sirius away from his brother and stood between them. "He's telling you the truth, or at least I know the Order exists. They approached me."
Sirius rounded on James, his mouth falling open. "And you didn't tell me?"
James looked away guiltily. "Professor Dumbledore said he'd talk to you when the time was right. He swore me to secrecy."
"And you think Remus took the same oath."
"If he's working for them, he would have had to."
"He would have told me."
"No, he wouldn't. You know he wouldn't have, not if Dumbledore asked it of him."
"Then we'll go to Dumbledore--"
"You can't!" Regulus stumbled backwards until his back hit the wall, his wand clutched in his shaking hand. "They'll know. They'll know it was me and they'll kill me."
"Better you than him."
"Sirius!"
"He's one of them, Lily." Sirius pushed past James and grabbed Regulus by the arm, pushing his sleeve up to show the mark on his arm. "Their little club isn't such a secret, is it? Murderers, the lot of them. What have you done with Remus?"
"I haven't done anything with him! I told you, Dumbledore said someone would be there to meet me."
"And why should we believe you? How do we know it wasn't you who set the trap? How do we know you didn't--"
"Because I want out, Sirius." Regulus slid down the wall until he could sit on the floor with his arms clasped around his knees. When he spoke again, his voice was quiet and trembled with fear. "I want out. I didn't know--in the beginning it was--"
"Fun?"
"No! A rush, but I didn't know the things they were planning--the things they wanted me to do. I want out. Dumbledore said he could get me out, but he wants information. I promised to give it to him."
"Why wouldn't Dumbledore have been there himself if it was so important?"
"I don't know. I just know that someone was supposed to come and your friend was there. I had a locket that the Dark Lord would give anything to protect, and I gave it to Lupin in exchange for a fake one. I was supposed to make the switch so that he wouldn't know, Dumbledore said, and then I was done."
"What's so important about the locket?" Sirius jumped at the sound of Lily's quiet voice. He'd almost forgotten she was there.
"I don't know."
"He's lying!" Sirius yelled and James grabbed his shoulder to keep him from getting close enough to throttle Regulus like Sirius wanted.
"I'm not. I'm not lying. I just--"
"Who else was there? I know it was Bellatrix. Who else did you tell?"
"No one. It was just me and Lupin before you showed up and then Bella. It must have been the Lestrange brothers. They must have followed me. Bellatrix hasn't trusted me for a while now."
James exchanged looks with Lily before he took his glasses off and began cleaning the lenses on his shirt tail. "We should go to Dumbledore. Take Regulus to him."
"There isn't time," Regulus said. "Remus has the real locket and if they find it on him, they'll kill him, if they haven't already."
"Where would they have taken him?"
"I don't know. They were planning some big attack near Hogsmeade but I don't know anything else. They didn't tell me."
"Who else would know?"
"I don't know. Lucius, maybe." Regulus dropped his head into his hands and scrubbed at his face, like he used to do as a young boy when he was in trouble. Sirius remembered comforting him, being the only one who could make things better and keep him safe from their mother.
Guilt blossomed heavily in Siruis' stomach. He knew there had been no one to protect Regulus in a long time. Dropping to his knees in front of Regulus, Sirius put his hand on his shoulder and squeezed, knowing it was too little too late for them both. "We'll go see him."
"You can't do that. You were branded a traitor the moment mum blasted you from family tree. He'll never talk to you. He'd never tell you anything."
"No, but he will if you ask."
"I can't go back, Sirius. You don't know what I've done."
Taking Regulus' arm again, Sirius bared the mark once more. "I have a good idea."
"It won't do any good," Regulus said, jerking his arm away though he couldn't quite meet Sirius' eyes. "The Dark Lord is too strong. You can't fight him."
"So I should just leave Remus to his fate?"
"This isn't helping Remus," James broke in, stepping between the brothers once more, pulling Sirius away. "We have to find out where he's being held now, before it's too late. You want out, Regulus, and we need to get Remus back. Start here."
Regulus stared at Sirius for a long moment, taking his measure, before he nodded. "I think-- I might know another way. I'll make things right, Sirius."
He was gone, then, apparated away with a loud crack, and Sirius stared at the space where he'd been.
"He'll be back, Sirius. Tell me what happened."
Sirius rolled his shoulders and pushed a shaky hand through his hair, accepting the wand James held out to him, the one Sirius had wished he'd thought to take with him when he'd followed Remus. "Tell me about the Order."
"I told you--"
"Don't, James. We don't keep secrets. If Remus had just told me--"
"He couldn't. He's shared everything with you, I know, but this is different."
"Tell him, James," Lily said. "It's time."
"You know as well?"
James sighed, hanging his head, and put his hands on his hips. Sirius knew that look as well as he knew himself. "All right, but not here--not now. We'll get Remus and then we'll talk. Together, all of us. We'll tell Professor Dumbledore that if one of is in, then we're all in."
"Then we're in?" Sirius asked though he already knew the answer.
"We have to be, Sirius. Regulus wasn't lying. Voldemort--"
"James!"
"No, Lily. You're right. It's time." James smoothed his hands over Lily's shoulders and kissed her forehead. "You should go home."
"You're not shutting me out."
"I'm not, but--"
"But nothing. If you won't go to Dumbledore then you're going to need my help."
Sirius could read the stupid, besotted grin that crossed James' face, too, and he shook his head. As he opened his mouth to chastise them both, he was interrupted by a loud crack of apparition. It wasn't Regulus, and Sirius wasn't surprised; he never expected him to come back--but it came as an even bigger shock to see who he sent instead. "Kreacher!"
"Kreacher is coming to the traitor's home as Master commanded though Kreacher's Mistress would not approve."
Sirius stared down at the ugly little house elf where it stood in the middle of the room pulling on its ears. "Regulus sent you."
"Nasty, whinging little beast that one has always has been, such a disappointment Mistress says," Kreacher croaked as if Sirius hadn't spoken, his beady eyes focused on his toes as he continued to mutter. "It would kill her, it would, if my mistress knew how the spawn lay with a dark creature, oh yes, we knows--"
"Answer me!" Sirius raised his hand to smack at Kreacher but James held him back again, pushing him to stand with Lily as he knelt in front of the house elf.
"Your Master Regulus sent you with a message, didn't he, Kreacher."
"Another traitor--"
"Yes, I am. I know. Terrible, awful, not worthy to be Wizards. Got it. The message, Kreacher."
Kreacher raised his head and tilted his long, pointed chin. "Master said Kreacher was to find out where they are keeping the werewolf and to say whether he lived or died."
"And?"
"He is alive."
"And where is he, Kreacher? Tell us and consider your duty here done."
"He is alive, but Mistress Bellatrix will kill him as soon as she tires of him."
"Where?" Sirius demanded.
"Outside of Hogsmeade, in the Olde Forest, where the centaurs used to gather." With that, the old house elf disappeared with deafening crack.
James, Lily, and Sirius continued to stare at the spot where Kreacher had stood, each considering his words until Sirius finally spoke. "I told you the little idiot was a true Slytherin. He only cares about saving his own neck."
"He sent Kreacher," James said, but he sounded unsure--uneasy.
"Can we trust what he said?" Lily asked.
"He couldn't have lied if Regulus told him to find out where Remus was and come to tell us. Besides, we don't have a choice now." James paced the room twice before he came to a stop in front of Lily and Sirius. "We'll apparate to the Forbidden Forest and then we'll find their camp from there. If they're that close to Hogwarts, then surely Dumbledore will know. He'll have something planned, I'm sure."
"What if he doesn't? We can't fight off an entire army."
"It won't be an army. Dumbledore has said that so far they've only struck at the homes of Muggle-born Wizards. He said they like to strike right before dawn, that he needed people like us to help protect them."
"You think that's what will happen tonight?"
"I don't know, Sirius. We'll send Lily to the castle through the passage in Honeydukes."
"James--"
"No, Lily. Sirius is right. We have to go now, and we have to make sure Dumbledore knows. I'm sure they didn't mean to keep a hostage. Sirius and I will find Remus, but we're counting on you to bring reinforcements."
Lily stared at James for a moment before she threw her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. "You'll be careful?"
"There's my girl. Of course we will."
She kissed him once--hard--and then was gone.
James put his hand on Sirius' shoulder and looked him in the eyes. "No more secrets."
"Right."
"So when were you going to tell me about you and Remus?"
"What?"
"I'm not angry. It's weird, but I get it. I think. You could have told me."
"I wasn't sure."
"About him or me?"
"I'm sure about him. I just didn't want things to change between us."
"They won't."
"He'll be all right, won't he?"
James pressed his forehead against Sirius' "We've always kept him safe, yeah?"
"Yeah."
"Are you ready to do it again?"
"Yeah."Sirius barely had the word out before he felt the tug in the pit of his stomach pull him forward as James apparated them away from the flat.
When they landed, Sirius fell to his knees on the soft pine needles that carpeted the forest floor. It was quiet and cool, dew just beginning to settle on the leaves and sparse grass as Sirius got to his feet. He watched as James straightened his glasses and his shirt, listening to the sounds of the forest around them.
"Where are we?" Sirius whispered.
"Our spot near Hagrid's cabin."
Sirius nodded. He recognized it now as the place where they would gather before the moon rose to corral the wolf back into the passage beneath the Whomping Willow. There was a stream nearby and a path that would lead them through the woods to Hogsmeade, one that students would take to sneak off the grounds. He knew, as James did, that if they followed it, it would likely lead them to the Death Eaters. It was their best hope to find them.
James drew his wand and began to pick his way down the path and Sirius followed silently, transforming into Padfoot to trot along at James' side. He could smell the rabbits, squirrels, and other small creatures that lived in the woods and had crossed this path a hundred times, but nothing else. They walked for a long time, Sirius nearly giving up, before he caught it--a faint but familiar scent that grew steadily stronger until finally Sirius transformed back.
"He's here."
"Can you smell him?"
"Her. Bellatrix. She came this way within the last few hours. Their camp must be ahead. Let's go."
"We can't just go charging in there, Sirius."
"If Remus is there---"
"I know but we need a diversion."
"What do you suggest?"
"I don't know. I'll think of something. Just wait for my signal before you go for Remus."
"What signal?"
"You'll know." James grinned in the second before he transformed into the stag and disappeared into the woods.
For a moment, it was as if they were back in school with mischief at hand, and Sirius grinned back, emboldened by James' confidence, but once he was alone, Sirius shivered in the cool night air, his wand clenched tight in his hand. With James gone, the forest seemed more ominous, and Sirius was tempted to change back into Padfoot. Before he could, there was a shout and a shot of red fireworks over the trees. Sirius took that as James' signal and took off running down the path, listening carefully, though the answering cries seemed to be headed in the opposite direction.
The trail opened out into a glade of soft grass next to the stream, and Sirius knew he must be close to the village now. There was a tent tucked in the shadows of the trees with only one man standing guard outside it, and Sirius felt his heart beat faster, knowing somehow that Remus must be inside. He took a step forward, a twig breaking beneath his foot, and gasped as the guard turned toward the sound, casting his Stupefy blindly.
Sirius dove to avoid the spell and cast his own, hearing the guard grunt as it hit him. He kept coming, though, shaking his head, and Sirius could see it was one of the Lestrange brothers. He raised his wand again, casting a different spell, one that rose like fog in the night. It was a call to arms, Sirius could see now as it took the shape of a great skull with a snake--the Dark Mark, like he'd seen on his brother's arm. The sight of it chilled Sirius, and he knew that there would be reinforcements coming soon.
"It's too late, boy. You're too late." This close Sirius could tell it was Rodolphus, his cousin's husband, and Sirius' lips curled in anger as he heard the sound of the man's wheezing laughter. "Unless you've come to join us, Sirius. The Dark Lord would certainly welcome you."
"I'd hardly want anything he'd have to offer."
"Not even to save the life of the mangy werewolf you call friend? He's a bit damaged now, but I'm sure his life could still be spared for the right price."
Sirius roared in anger, fearing what he would find once he reached Remus, and cast the darkest spell he could utter and still keep his soul--one his mother had taught him as useful in cowing her sisters when they were young. Rodolphus crumpled onto the ground, his dirty blond hair falling like a sheet over his suddenly pale face.
Sirius ran forward, ducking into the tent, falling to his knees at the sight of Remus. He was curled onto his side on the ground, his skin pale against the long gash that marred his cheek. Sirius pressed his palm against Remus' face, willing the bleeding to stop. "C'mon, Moony, be all right."
"Sirius?"
"It's me, Moony. Just be still."
"What are you doing here?"
"Rescuing you."
"Had them right where I wanted," Remus said weakly, trying to smile as he struggled to focus on Sirius' face.
"I could tell."
"How did you find me?"
"Regulus."
"He told you? Is he safe?"
"I don't know, Remus. I don't know that any of us are anymore." Sirius looked to the opening of the tent. He could hear explosions and see blasts of light though they still sounded far away. He hoped against hope that Lily had found help at the castle. "Can you stand? We have to get out of here."
Sirius helped Remus to his feet, catching him when he swayed. "Everything hurts but I'm all right," Remus whispered. "I just need a minute."
"I don't know that we have one. James led them away but they'll be back and there are anti-apparition wards up all over. We have to go."
"All right, I'm ready. Where's my wand?"
Sirius looked around the tent until he spotted Remus' wand in the dirt, as though it had been ground beneath someone's heel. There was a glint of silver and his stomach dropped at the sight of it, knowing it had been snapped. Remus saw it as well and drew in a sharp breath. "No--"
"Leave it, Remus. We have to--"
Sirius broke off as Remus fell to his knees once more and bent to pick up the pieces of his wand that were held together by nothing more than the strand of unicorn hair at its core, cradling them in his hand. He'd always taken far more care than his classmates in learning to master it though it had been given to him secondhand and had sometimes seemed to have a mind of its own. It had become more than just a focus for his magic, but another symbol of his humanity, and Sirius knew how much it must cost him to see it damaged.
"I'm sorry, Remus," Sirius murmured as he put his hand on Remus' shoulder. "We'll get you a new one, one of Olivander's."
"I'll never be able to afford that."
"I can."
"Sirius, I can't accept--"
"It's not about charity," Sirius bit out as he captured Remus' face between his hands. "You saved Regulus. I shouldn't have followed, I know, but I did, and I saw. You saved his life when he would have left you for dead."
The furrow between Remus' brow deepened as he considered Sirius' words. "You were there?"
"I'm sorry. I know it's meant to be a secret, and I won't tell, I solemnly swear, but I was worried. I-- " Sirius stopped and swallowed hard, searching Remus' eyes. He'd never said it before, not to anyone, and certainly had never believed in it like he did in that moment. "I love you, Remus. My family owes you this, all right?"
Remus looked down mournfully at the wand in his hand before closing his fist over the pieces. He nodded once before swiping his hand over his eyes. "I wanted to tell you but--"
"I know. Dumbledore swore you to secrecy."
"No. I mean, yes, he did but I'm not talking about that. I mean--" Remus' hiccuping laugh sounded almost like a sob after a moment, and Sirius pulled him close. "I almost told you earlier, before I left. I wasn't sure what would happen tonight and I wanted to tell you. I wanted you to know that I love you, too."
Sirius barked out a laugh, feeling lightheaded and reckless, as though he could take on the whole army of Death Eaters that Lily had feared. He surged forward, catching Remus' mouth in a hard kiss though he pulled back at the sound of Remus' whimper.
"I'm sorry," he whispered, still laughing as he ran his knuckle over the cut on Remus' lip. He kissed Remus more gently this time, avoiding his injuries as he helped Remus to his feet again. "Okay? All right? I'm sorry I hurt you. I can't believe you love me. Merlin! If Bellatrix finds us like this, she'll kill us both."
"I was afraid she was going to--"
"Don't say it, Moony. I can't bear it. We'll get you home and then--" Sirius paused with his arm around Remus' waist as they stood just at the threshold of the tent. "Listen? Do you hear that?"
"I don't hear anything."
"Exactly. We have to get out of here. We've lingered too long. C'mon."
Sirius carefully drew back the flap of the tent and looked out into the surrounding darkness. Rodolphus was gone, and there was no one near though the Dark Mark still wavered in the air above the glade. Despite the clear night and the moon that hung heavy above them, Sirius chanced a whispered Lumos spell to guide their way, hoping it didn't bring their enemies to them. He moved carefully forward, holding onto Remus' hand, knowing that they only needed to get to the stream and cross it to be able to apparate away. They were almost there when a rustling nearby startled them both. Sirius stepped in front of Remus and raised his wand, prepared to fight once more--prepared to do whatever he had to do to protect Remus.
"Lower your wand, boy," came the gruff call, and Sirius could feel Remus' fingers digging into his shoulder.
"Dad?" Remus called and Sirius watched as Remus' father emerged from the woods, his wand pointed steadily at them both. "How did you find us?"
"Tell me what song your mum used to sing to you when you were laid up sick."
"Dad?"
"Tell me!"
"I don't-- It was a poem, not a song. Afton. Flow gently, sweet Afton. It was a poem," Remus repeated, his fingers curling tightly into the thin material of Sirius' shirt. "What's going on?"
"I had to be sure it was you. I told you to be careful. I told you--"
"The Lestrange brothers were here, and--" Remus paused and Sirius felt rather than saw how Remus tensed, hating to say anything more.
"Bellatrix," Sirius said, then cleared his throat, still painfully aware of how Mr. Lupin kept his wand trained on his chest. He remembered quite suddenly the first time he'd met Remus' father--third year at King's Cross--and how Sirius' father had insulted them both with a sweeping look that had taken in their threadbare clothes, Remus' secondhand wand, and the battered bag that Remus had clutched tightly against his chest. Sirius felt the same slow burn of embarrassment as he had then, to be related to such people--to carry the name Black like a stone around his neck, and just like then, he wanted to apologize though he hadn't done anything than be unlucky in his birth. "James," he whispered instead. "He's in the forest."
"That slip of a girl came for Dumbledore and told him what happened," Mr. Lupin said, talking over Sirius as if he hadn't spoken at all. "We'd known, we were waiting for them. We've beaten them back to the ridge so I came down here. It won't be long now before it's over. Hagrid knows this forest better than they do."
"What about James?" Remus asked.
"I don't know. I didn't see him. I came looking for you. When you didn't come home and we saw that--" Mr. Lupin stopped and looked up at the Dark Mark. Sirius could see the same thought crossed his mind as it had Sirius--they had come too close to losing Remus tonight. "Come away now. Come with me. You're too young and I shouldn't have let Dumbledore talk me into letting you join. I should have sent you away with your mother when I had the chance."
"I wouldn't have gone."
"No, you'd just run off to London if I let you. I knew he would lead you to trouble." Mr. Lupin angrily jerked his chin toward Sirius and Remus took a step forward, the fragments of his wand hanging uselessly from his fingers.
"He hasn't. He came for me!"
"He's a Black," Mr. Lupin said with such finality that Sirius knew his name was as much a strike against him as if he'd taken the mark as his brother had. "I've warned you before. You've no idea--"
"He's a marauder first," Remus said with the same certainty, lifting his chin the same as his father had. "He came to find me like he always will."
"He's not one of us, Remus. Which side will he choose in the end, do you think?"
"I'll fight at Remus' side," Sirius bit out, finally finding his voice, "as I've always done."
Mr. Lupin stared hard into Sirius' eyes and Sirius straightened, determined not to be found wanting. Behind them, they could hear the battle as it raged on, though it was quieter now, further away. Sirius closed his fingers over Remus' wrist, pulling him closer, and saw when Mr. Lupin caught sight of the the necklace Sirius always wore. He recognized the moment Mr. Lupin made his decision, his eyes the same as his son's, before he turned back away to the forest path where he'd come. "They'll come for him now that they know who he is," he said as if to himself, defeated. "He should come with me. We could hide."
"We have to fight, dad," Remus said. "It's the only thing we can do."
"You're grown now. I suppose I've always known that. I just wanted--" Mr. Lupin sighed and took another step. "You should go. There's nothing more for either of you to do tonight. This is almost over but there will be more to come."
"I'll keep him safe," Sirius promised, and held his breath until Mr. Lupin nodded once and swiped his hands over his eyes before he disappeared into the trees.
When Sirius awoke, he lay still for a long time watching the curl of smoke spiral toward the ceiling before disipating altogether. He was warm--almost too warm--but didn't want to move except to stroke his hand over Remus' sharp hipbone before resting it on his flat stomach.
"We should go soon," Remus murmured before he drew on his cigarette again.
"Sooner we go, sooner we can come back, right?"
"Lazy."
"I've been called worse." Sirius still didn't move, not even when Remus twisted to stub the cigarette out and pick up his new wand. It was ash this time, though still with a unicorn hair core, quite springy and long, and Sirius bit back a comparison he longed to make. There would be time for jokes, he knew, but right now he raised up on his elbow so that he could watch Remus' face as he tested the wand again, grinning when it responded to his whispered Lumos.
"Thank you," Remus said again and turned his smile to Sirius.
"You've thanked me twice already--quite thoroughly." Sirius let his hand slide lower on Remus' stomach, enjoying the slight intake of Remus' surprised breath as his fingers curled over Remus' cock. "Not that I'd turn you down for a third."
"We'll be late."
"Later, you mean."
Remus hooked his finger in Sirius' necklace and tugged him close so they could kiss, gently at first before it turned hungrier. When Remus finally pulled away to sit up, Sirius groaned into the still warm pillow.
"You'll come home with me, though, right? Your dad won't mind?" Sirius asked, though he knew Remus hadn't been home in days.
"He won't mind. Alistair Moody will if we're late, though. He's big on first impressions, and you already have a lot to overcome."
"I heard they call him Mad-Eye. That true?"
"Yeah."
"Why?
"You'll see."
Sirius drew his fingers down Remus' spine, enjoying the way Remus shivered at the contact, before he sat up and pressed his lips against Remus' shoulder and wrapped his arms around Remus' waist. "I'm afraid," he whispered into Remus' warm skin, half hoping he hadn't been heard.
"The famous Sirius Black of fabled Hogwarts legend, nervous? I know of several girls who--"
"Shut it," Sirius growled as he playfully bit Remus' neck before soothing it with kisses. "Before he disappeared," Sirius began before he stopped and took a deep breath.
They hadn't talked about Regulus since the night in the Forbidden Forest. All Remus' injuries were healed but he still had nightmares, Sirius knew, still woke up sometimes shaking violently in the middle of the night, and even Sirius could still see the Dark Mark hanging sickly green in a field of stars when he shut his eyes. Some wounds, he knew, would never be healed until this war--he struggled with the word even in his own mind though he knew now that it was true--was over.
Remus covered Sirius' hands with his and squeezed them gently, encouraging him, and Sirius held him tighter--as tight as he could.
"Regulus said," he tried again, pausing at the name before he pushed forward, "that Voldemort was too strong, that we couldn't win against him."
"Do you believe that?"
"I don't know what I believe."
Remus was quiet for a long time before he stood and turned to face Sirius, pulling him up to stand as well before he cupped Sirius' face in his hands. "Do you believe in us?"
"Yes," Sirius said fiercely, reaching up to hold onto Remus' wrists.
"And James? And Lily and Peter?"
"Yes, of course, but--"
"That's all there is, Sirius. That's all we need."
"And you think that will be enough?"
Remus smiled and stretched to kiss Sirius one last time before he rested their foreheads together. "It's always been enough for me."
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The whole thing was amazingly written and unbelievably believable. Thanks for cheering me up!
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