fox_confessor | Fic: These Four Kings (Year Seven 4/?)

Title: These Four Kings (Year Seven 4/?)
Author: Dani (

escribo)
Word count: 4675
Rating: PG-13
Pairings: Lily/James (in the future will be Remus/Sirius)
Timeline: Early October 1977
Disclaimer: All Harry Potter characters are the property of J.K. Rowling and Bloomsbury/Scholastic. No copyright infringement is intended. I've not made nor seek any profit.

Year 1: one/ two/ three/ four/ five/ six/ seven
Year 2: one/ two/ three/ four 
Year 3: one/ two/three/four
Year 4 (coming in the future when work quits eating my brains! Sorry for the out-of-order-ness)
Year 5 one/ two/ three/ four/ five/ six/ seven/ eight
Year 6 one/ two/ three/ four/ five/ six/ seven/ eight/ nine
Summer one/ two
Year 7 one/ two/ three

Their first Hogsmeade weekend was cold and rainy and, by mid-afternoon Lily was happy to tumble into the Three Broomsticks with James to warm up, dry off, and get something to drink. She wasn't even surprised to see Peter, Sirius, and Remus at their usual table in the back, seemingly waiting for them. She had long ago reconciled herself that dating James was often a group activity. What did surprise her was how little she minded.

James stopped off at the bar to buy warm butterbeers for them all while she made her way back to the table. She had a bone to pick with Remus. Sabine had been a wreck the night before, in tears because either she broke up with Remus or he had broke up with her. It was hard to tell. That she seemed to have gotten over it rather quickly, if the fact that Lily and James had just seen her in Madame Puddifoot's with a sixth year Ravenclaw was anything to go by, was immaterial. Remus, bundled up in a thick black sweater and a bright blue scarf, didn't seem bothered by it at all. Neither did Sirius, whose mood had improved dramatically since breakfast that morning.

"You two seem to be a in a good mood," Lily said as she slid onto the long bench next to Peter.

"Moony just spent an hour sniffing the used books at Tomes, even though he was meant to be getting a haircut with the money he spent." Sirius grinned down at Remus, who was flipping through a thin, leather bound book. The only word Lily could make out on the battered spine was "memory", a favorite topic of his lately.

"You're the one who talked me into it."

"And what about you?" She asked Sirius pointedly.

"What's not to be happy about on a free Saturday with my best mates."

"In the pissing down rain," Peter moaned.

"I hadn't noticed."

"Ignore him," Sirius laughed, and Lily could understand why girls tripped over themselves trying to get his attention--when he smiled and his eyes sparkled like that, Sirius was dangerously handsome. "James had all the new members of the Quidditch team on the pitch before dawn for practice."

"I'll never be warm again."

"So, there's no other reason for this sudden change in mood?"

"Why are you so interested, Evans?"

"I'm not, particularly," Lily said as she moved down the bench a bit as James joined them. "I just thought it was interesting is all, it being so rare."

"What the lovely Lily is so delicately trying not to say is that we just saw Sabine suckering some poor sod who isn't our Moony into having tea with her at Puddifoot's."

"Did you really?" Sirius said with a false brightness. He didn't look up at her but gave his brilliant smile again as he moved one of the warm glasses of butterbeer closer to Remus.

"That's not what I was saying at all, and you can quit being so gleeful about it. Did you stop to think that maybe Remus isn't as glad about it as you are?"

"I'm fine, Lily."

"Better than fine now that the harpy is out of his life."

"She wasn't that bad, Black," Remus said, though he managed to look both apologetic and guilty at the same time. "Just not for me."

"I found her offensive in nearly every way."

"She was a good kisser."

"I didn't find that particularly true."

"Perhaps it's me who's the good kisser then."

Sirius' smile turned predatory as he twisted in his seat, clearly prepared to follow that line of inquiry to whatever end it led him. Lily looked over to James who nodded, encouraging her. If she thought it strange how interested James was in Remus' love life, she wasn't going to argue about it here. Besides, she had to admit to herself that it was rather fun needling Sirius.

"I know a couple of other people who are interested, Remus," she said, interrupting Sirius before he could truly get started.

"I'm not sure it's a good--"

"Couple? As in more than one?" Sirius asked, cutting across Remus' words.

"Is that so shocking?"

"Of course not, but--"

"He's kind, which girls really love, despite what you think, Black. Smart," Lily began ticking off on her fingers what she felt were Remus' better qualities. "Tall. Handsome. Funny."
Remus dropped his face into his hands and groaned loudly.

"Can we stop talking about this please?"

Sirius found his smile again and offered it up to Remus, obviously enjoying his embarrassment. "He can also burp louder than any other seventh year and smokes like a chimney, though he lies about it something terrible."

James and Peter laughed as Remus straightened up in his chair, putting on his best put upon face.

"He's friends with you lot, so obviously a martyr," Lily said, coming to Remus' rescue when it was clear the other three wouldn't. "There's a mystery in that that girls love."

"Insanity, Lily. It's called insanity," Remus said.

"No matter. You're a catch."

"I kind of want to date him myself." James put his hand to chest and fluttered his eyes in Remus' direction as Sirius and Peter laughed louder and Remus threw his coaster at James' head, catching the edge of James' glasses.

"So you feel compelled to set him up," Sirius said to Lily once they had settled down. "I wonder who put that idea in your head," he added, looking directly at James.

"It was my own idea. James is off limits." Lily grinned at James, who sat back in his seat looking smug. "And you're the bad boy that girls want to reform and I'm certainly not encouraging that."

"Is that what they're calling it? Reformation," Remus quipped and then sloshed butterbeer down his front when Sirius bumped his shoulder against him. "Thanks for that."

"Which leaves Remus as the most eligible boy in Gryffindor," Lily continued.

"What about me?" Peter asked.

"You have a girlfriend, Pete."

"So, Remus? Are you still game?" Lily asked.

"You could just ask someone out yourself," Sirius said.

"And spoil Lily's fun?" James stretched his legs out beneath the table and jostled them against Sirius', kicking his ankle repeatedly until Sirius kicked him back. "Let them be, Sirius."

"Okay. How about Agnes Diggory? Hufflepuff. Fifth year."

"Too young for the most eligible boy who apparently has his choice of anyone of the school," Sirius said. He gave James' foot one last shove and then leaned his elbows on the table. "Lupin needs someone smarter than Agnes. Didn't she manage to set fire to her robes in Potions?"

"Meris Dearborn. Gryffindor."

"Caradoc's sister. I know her," Remus said. He'd gone back to his book, apparently prepared to leave Lily and Sirius to their own devices.

"Sixth year. Top of her class. Old enough, smart enough."

"Not her," Sirius said. "She can't take a joke."

"You sent her a howler pretending to be her mother." Lily ignored both James and Peter laughing next to her. "Last week you charmed her ponytail into the shape of a horse's head. It took her ages to comb it out."

"That last was Moony's idea," Sirius said.

"It wasn't!"

"You dared me to do it," Sirius said to Remus before he turned back to Lily. "Which is why he needs someone with a sense of humor."

"Someone he can laugh with rather than at?"

"Exactly." Sirius spread his hands wide, palms up, as he smiled back at Remus. "Someone who won't get easily offended when he points out how stupid they're being."

"I don't do that."

"You do it to me all the time."

"That's because you deserve it."

"Astrid Flint," Lily said and that had their attention back. She knew as soon as she said the name that Sirius would object and he didn't disappoint.

"She's Slytherin."

"Peter's dated a Slytherin once and she was a perfectly lovely girl," James said.

"And no one was more surprised than me when she didn't curse him in his sleep. No Slytherins."

"You can't just hate all Slytherins on principle, Black."

"I think you'll find that I can, Evans. Name someone else."

"She's fine," Remus said, turning a page in his book. "I'll go out with her."

"You will not," Sirius said firmly. He pushed his glass away and then crossed his arms over his chest, glaring at Lily. She glared back, unimpressed. How dare he insult her friend and push Remus about as if he belonged to Sirius. It was ridiculous and Lily refused to give in.

Remus, on the other hand, laughed merrily and finally put down his book. He looked more cheerful than he had in several days. "Just one date. Just to see what it's like."

"That's probably what's she's saying about you, too. No Slytherins."

Remus stared at Sirius' profile for a long minute, tapping his fingertips on the scarred table. His eyes were narrowed, as if he was measuring how far he could push Sirius, and Lily was suddenly curious about this--about how much was for a laugh and how much was Remus pushing the limits of a friendship that seemed to have no boundaries. She wasn't surprised when he made his decision, or when Sirius accepted it without much more than a grunt. "She's a friend of Lily's. It'll be fine."

***

Lily couldn't bear the thought of how insufferable Sirius would be once he found out that Astrid and Remus had already broken things off, if he didn't know already. It hadn't even been two weeks. They'd only had two dates, and not even on their own because Sirius insisted that they double with Peter and Mary and then with James and Lily. The most infuriating part of the whole was the way Remus seemed to cave into Sirius' angry little tirades and brooding. As she came into the Great Hall for dinner and saw Remus sitting on his own in their usual place, she decided she'd had enough. There was real chemistry between Astrid and Remus, she was sure of it, and she couldn't bear to see him constantly trying to appease the little tyrant, at least not without Lily saying something.

She stormed over to the Gryffindor table and sat across from him, pointing her finger at him before he could say anything. "You broke it off with her."

"It wasn't working out."

"Because of Black."

"It had nothing to do with Sirius."

"It's just like with Sabine. He didn't like her either. He wouldn't even give her a chance--"

"He dated her once. That was her chance." Remus looked away from Lily and began straightening the cutlery at the side of his place. "We weren't compatible."

"I suppose that's what you said to Astrid when we both know that Sirius hated her to begin with."

"He hates all Slytherins. He had nothing against her personally, and this really had nothing to do with him. I know she's your friend, Lily, and don't think I don't appreciate--"

"Did he just tell you to break it off straight away, or did he--"

"He had nothing to do with it, all right. And for the record, Sabine broke it off with me." Remus put his hand flat onto the table and took a deep breath. "Listen, Astrid said I didn't kiss bad for a half breed. As much as you're not going to like hearing this, it was exactly what Sirius said it would be."

"I am so sorry, Remus."

"Don't be. I just wanted to see what it would be like with a Slytherin so it doesn't make me any better. She was just a little more honest about it." Remus looked over his shoulder to the door as more students began to come in for their dinner, searching, Lily supposed, for his friends. "Look, I know you don't like him but Sirius --."

"He shoots down everyone I try to set you up with. They're not smart enough or pretty enough or--"

"He's just protective of his friends."

"I'm surprised he lets James date me."

"Sirius likes you, he really does," he hurried to add on when Lily scoffed. "Besides James has been in love with you since third year. Sirius wouldn't do anything to try to upset that. His friends really do come first. We're his family."

Remus looked over his shoulder to the door again, turning back to her after another group of students came through. "Don't tell James about Astrid either, okay? He'll tell Sirius, and Sirius hasn't exactly grown out of hexing Slytherins."

"She deserves to be hexed. I might do it myself."

"You know that I don't blame you." Lily nodded then shrugged her shoulders as Remus smiled softly at her. "I just think maybe I won't date anyone for a bit. They're not really interested in me. They're just doing you a favor or hoping Sirius notices them--"

"That's not true."

"Or they want to see if the stories about me are true. Half breed. Filthy--"

"Stop it, Remus," Lily whispered.

"Beast. Diseased," Remus hissed, his mouth drawn into a thin line. He curled his hands into fists on the table, and Lily thought perhaps he'd even forgotten that she was there.

"That's not true. None of that is true," she hissed back. "What I said before, what I said at the Three Broomsticks--that's what's true."

Remus nodded, a grim smile crossing his lips. Lily reached for his hand but he pulled them away. "I'm sorry, Lily. I'm tired and I don't know. I'm not feeling very well."

Remus turned one last time and saw Sirius and James coming in with Peter from Quidditch practice. "Listen, James already has the best girl at school, right?"

Lily blushed, waved her hand in front of her face to stave off her tears. "All those things I said were true, Remus."

"All right. Don't forget your promise." Remus stood abruptly and grabbed his bag as James, Peter, and Sirius came closer. They were laughing and jostling each other, joking loudly enough to attract attention as they walked through. "I'm going to go back to the tower."

"You haven't had dinner."

"I'm not really hungry. I'll see you later."

Lily watched as Remus started to walk past Peter and Sirius on his way out of the Great Hall. Sirius grabbed his arm to stop him, blocking his path. "Where are you going?"

"Not hungry."

The jovial air fell from Sirius and he stepped directly in front of Remus, trying to force Remus to look at him. "Tell me what's wrong."

"Nothing. Just leave it, Black."

"You know it doesn't work that way."

"I'm fine, Sirius. I'm just tired."

"I'll come up with you."

"Don't, okay? I just want to be alone for a little bit. Just have your dinner and you can find me in the common room when you're finished."

Remus pulled away and turned, leaving Sirius looking after him before Sirius looked back at the table--at Lily. "What did you say to him?"

"Go easy, Pads," James warned.

"It's okay, James. I didn't say anything to him," Lily said but she couldn't meet his eyes. She knew Remus was right about Sirius' loyalty and she wanted to tell him, wanted Astrid to hurt for hurting her friend, and she was ashamed of herself for even thinking it. "He said he was tired."

"Are you sure he was just tired? That it wasn't--"

"Tired. I talked with him before you came. He was fine, just. Tired."

Sirius stared at Lily for a minute, contemplating whether or not he believed her, before he finally sat down but all through dinner he was unusually quiet. James and Peter made up for it, chatting away about everything and nothing, but Lily could tell that James was worried, too, by the way he kept his eyes on Sirius. Lily ate her dinner as quietly as Sirius had, watching him put aside food in a napkin--a roll that he carefully buttered, a pastie, and a pile of fat grapes--as he shoveled down his own dinner. At the end, he wrapped his little bundle up and stuck it in the pocket of his robe, and then Lily knew it was for Remus, which made her feel worse.

Afterward, when they were walking back to the common room, Lily thought about Sirius, about what Remus had said, about what she knew from James. Sirius was walking ahead of them, barely listening to James or answering when someone asked him a question, and Lily knew he was focused on getting back to Remus. It dawned on her then that it wasn't just loyalty to his friends that was driving him but something more, something different. Something--

Lily stopped suddenly in the middle of the stairway, tugging on James' arm. "I forgot my bag in the Great Hall. Would you mind terribly?"

"No, we can go back."

"Would you go for me? It's just that I told Alice I'd meet her right after dinner to give her some notes and--"

"It's fine. Pete and I'll go."

Lily waited until they were back down the stairs and around the corner before she ran to catch up with Sirius. She grabbed his arm and pulled him into an empty classroom.

"Potter's like my brother, Evans, so no matter how much you beg--"

"Don't be disgusting. It's about Remus."

Sirius' demeanor changed immediately and he became serious, taking a step toward her. "Did he say something to you before dinner? I knew something was bothering him."

"He just broke it off with Astrid."

"Good."

"Because she called him a half breed."

"Right. I'll fucking kill her." Sirius turned on his heels and headed to the door but Lily grabbed him before he could make good on his threat.

"That's not why I told you and you can't say anything. I promised Remus I wouldn't tell you."

"Then why did you?"

Lily looked away, her mouth curled in disgust. "Because I thought she was my friend."

"Slytherins aren't your friends. They're incapable."

"I'm learning that, all right."

"And don't set him up with any more Slytherins. Though I think he just agreed to go out with her to piss me off."

"Remus wouldn't do that."

"He's not exactly sugar and spice, you know that, right?"

Lily rolled her eyes, twisting her lips as she tried not to smile. "He's kind."

"I know he's kind. He's also the mastermind behind half the pranks we've pulled at this school and has the smarts not to get caught. He's a devious bastard, and delights in winding me up."

"It's because he knows you won't ever really get mad at him," Lily said softly. "It's because he knows you'll always protect him, even from yourself."

"He doesn't need protection," Sirius said slowly. "If anything--"

"You want him for yourself."

"What?" Sirius stumbled over the word but couldn't quite meet her eyes as he back away from her. "What are you on about, Evans?"

"You love him."

"Of course I love him. We all do."

"No. You love James like a brother and you tolerate Peter because he's friends with James. But Remus..." Lily let her voice trailed off. "You're in love with him."

Sirius stared at Lily, his mouth opening and closing like a fish before he forced out a laugh. "What?"

"You heard me."

"How do you get from ..."

Lily crossed her arms over her chest and tilted her head to stare at Sirius until he huffed in frustration and walked away from her. She watched as he roughly pushed his hand through his hair, dropping into one of the desks but still wouldn't look at her. He was looking instead at the palm of his hand, rubbing his thumb over a tiny scar that Lily could barely see. She let him be for a few moments before she sat next to him and covered his hand with her own.

"Did James tell you?" He finally asked.

"Do you think he would?"

"No."

"He didn't. But he told me what you did, how you saved Remus' life. What you risked." Lily turned Sirius' hand over and touched the scar. "You have to tell him."

"I can't."

"You have to, Sirius. You have to tell him. He deserves to know."

"I don't have to do anything." Sirius pulled his hand away and stood to pace the room. "He deserves someone better, okay? He deserves--" Sirius looked off, fishing for a name but unable to come up with one. "I don't deserve him."

"That's what Severus said to you, isn't it. That's what you fought about."

"I didn't need an excuse to fight with Snape."

"But that's what made you angry enough to--" Lily stopped herself, unable to say it. "He found out. Severus found out. He's half Muggle and all Slytherin. He would have--"

"No."

"He was going to tell. You were protecting Remus."

"No. That's not it. I was protecting Remus, all right, or thought I was. I thought that Snape--" Sirius turned away from her, his hand pushing through his hair again.

"I know he's a werewolf."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"I've known, Sirius," she said. She stepped closer to him and put her hand on his shoulder. "I've suspected since fifth year but he told me himself last spring."

Sirius turned on her, backing her up against a wall, his hands on her arms, his voice raising. "Did you tell Snape?"

"Of course not! I've kept Remus' secret." He stared at her hard. "It's the truth. I never told anyone. I wouldn't. Severus is clever, no matter what you think. He figured it out. He's been saying it since forever and at first I didn't believe him and then I tried to convince him he was wrong. And then, last year, after-- I made him promise not to tell. He hasn't. He won't."

Sirius continued to stare at her until it seemed he decided she was telling the truth. He backed away from her then, his hands raised before he turned, kicking a chair out of his way as he began to pace the room again. "He just kept after Remus. Mulciber and Avery can barely manage a thought between them and they managed that curse last year? That was Snape."

He turned then, coming closer, pleading with her to understand, and Lily wanted to. "I thought it would scare him. I thought it would make him leave Remus alone. I didn't think he'd be stupid enough to listen to me. I thought he would think it was another prank. I just--I just wanted to make him pay for all the things he's said and done to Remus."

"Remus could have killed him. He wouldn't have been able to live with that."

"No. I was there. I wouldn't have let him."

"You couldn't have been. You couldn't have stopped him."

"I was there, Lily. I'm always there. I'm--" Sirius stopped short and took a deep breath. His eyes were suddenly bright, and he laughed--the sound loud and brittle in the quiet of the room. "I'm an animagus."

"You can't be," Lily said, stunned. "That takes years of study, and you have to register--"
As she watched, Sirius took a couple of steps away and suddenly transformed into a large, shaggy black dog before he changed back a man. Lily covered her mouth with her hands and stared at him. "No sixth year could have learned that."

"It took years. I was in fifth when I managed it the first time."

"James?"

"What? Does he know? Of course he knows."

"Is he one, too?"

"I'm not telling you that," Sirius said but his pale gray eyes were sparkling with mischief. She knew it was true, that James had learned as well, and she wanted to laugh at their cleverness, at their daring, but she couldn't. It was too much--too big. She shook her head, unable to believe that at the moment.

"I learned to do that so that I could help Remus," Sirius continued, gently clasping her wrists in his large hands and leaning down so that they were face to face. "I learned it so I could be with him during the full moon and he wouldn't have to be alone. I would never do anything to purposely hurt him."

"I know, Sirius."

"But I did. I hurt him. I could've-- He could've ended up dead because of me. He almost died because of me. Snape was going on about what a monster he is." Sirius' voice was raising again and he clutched at his jumper, his hands shaking. "I'm the monster. Me. It's the legacy of my bloody family and I can't be rid of it no matter how hard I try. But he forgave me. I didn't deserve that. I don't deserve--"

"But you love him."

Sirius took a step back, and then another, before he turned to sit back down on the bench that lined the wall. He cradled his head in his hands.

"I do," he said. "You can't tell him."

"I'll stop trying to set him up." Lily gave a choked laugh, swiping at the tears on her cheeks. "It was James' idea. James'-- He knows, doesn't he."

Sirius nodded miserably.

"I guess he thought--"

"I know what James thought."

"I'll stop."

"No. Don't do that. He's not. I mean, he doesn't." Sirius sat up straight and took a deep breath. When he finally turned to her, his eyes were pleading and she felt so sorry for him. She sat next to him on the bench and took his hand again, and this time he let her.

"He deserves someone," he said after a while. "He just wants to be normal and he deserves to be made happy. Just, no more Slytherins, all right?"

"I still think you should tell him, Sirius."

"I almost lost him once. I won't do anything that might jeopardize what we have now. He doesn't know and I'm not going to tell him."

"Now who's being thick if you think he doesn't know?"

Sirius looked up at her, his eyes narrowed as he considered that but then he shook his head. "C'mon. James is going to think I'm ravaging you in a dark corner of the castle."

That was the end, Lily knew. He wouldn't talk about it and he wouldn't budge, at least not now. She followed him from the room, walking silently at his side as they went back to the common room. There, they found James, Peter, and Remus sitting in the chairs and couches nearest the fire, James telling her that they couldn't find her bag and Lily said she must have left it in her room. On the stairs to the girls dormitories, Lily stopped to watch as Sirius sat next to Remus and began offering up the food that he brought back. Neither said anything, Remus merely accepting whatever Sirius gave him bit by bit. By the time she came back down, James and Peter were beginning a game of chess and Remus had slumped down in his seat, book in hand, his head against Sirius' shoulder. Sirius sat still as a statue, staring into the fire, his arms crossed over his chest and his long legs stretched out in front of him. Lily knew she would keep his secret better than she had kept Remus' but she couldn't help but feel sad for them both.

When she finally looked away, she saw that James was watching Remus and Sirius as well, as if they were pieces from his chess set who just needed the right sort of direction. She would keep their secret, yes, just as James had. But just like James, Lily was suddenly determined to find a way around them both.

continue

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

kiltsandlollies.livejournal.com

God, I love Lily in this, and finally she and Sirius had a good conversation, a right conversation, and Sirius was smart about it. The conversation in the Three Broomsticks was wonderful as well, and I loved this: "Insanity, Lily. It's called insanity. Fabulous. <3

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Wreak my stockings

Fic: These Four Kings (Year Seven 4/?)

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