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fox_confessorTitle: The Trick Is to Keep Breathing
Writer:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
escribo
Pairing: Mike/Harvey
Rating: PG-13
Summary: AU: Mike copes with fatherhood
Notes: So, as part of my pre-Nano training program, I have a hurt/comfort bingo card, thatkiltsandlollies and I are using to challenge one another. This is the result of my first prompt, "brainwashing", which I meant to make a nice Remus/Sirius, as they seem tailor made for a little first war brainwashing scene but then this happened, which seriously stretches the limits of the concept of "brainwashing". :D
"I believed her."
"I know you did, Mike."
"I can't believe she did this."
"You have to get past that."
"How?"
"I don't know. Just focus on the baby."
Mike held Sophia tighter inside the circle of his arms and bent to press his lips to her forehead. She smelled so good and he couldn't believe how much he loved her already. The thought of anyone taking her away from him paralyzed him with fear and he determinedly stared at Harvey rather than look at the couple leaning against each other across the room.
"You can't--"
"Mike. Trust me."
"I do."
"Did you sign anything?"
Mike thought back to the weeks he'd spent with Jenny since he'd found out she was pregnant, since she told him the baby was his. They'd made plans, turning the second bedroom into a nursery in the place he'd bought his Gram before she died. He'd planned to sell it after but then he'd bought into the life he thought he was getting instead, the lies that Jenny had woven about the family they'd create together. He had believed her when she said his grandma would have liked that, making a home of his own in this home he bought for her. He had believed her.
Instead he'd found out too late that Jenny had put the baby up for adoption long before she'd come to him, took money from people expecting the same thing he was--a lot of money--and now she was gone, leaving him to pick up the pieces.
"Mike," Harvey said sharply, dragging him back from his thoughts.
"No. Nothing like--I didn't give up my parental rights and I didn't know she was going to do this. I didn't know. I'm not giving Sophie up."
"It's okay, all right? I'll take care of it," Harvey said as he settled his hands on Mike's shoulders, as he moved them to gently cup Mike's face and keep him in the here and now, kept him from panicking. "We'll take care of her together."
***
The first week was hard, but Mike was used to hard. He didn't like it, but in a strange way it was familiar. He developed a routine of bottles, diapers, and naps that kept him from thinking during the day about what was happening with Harvey. He couldn't think about the other couple, for once limiting his compassion because it was what he needed to do to protect his daughter. Harvey said he was proud Mike was finally getting it but that night, lying in bed listening to Sophia breathing through the baby monitor, Mike thought perhaps Harvey wasn't talking about the case but about Mike finally getting his priorities right.
He got the chance to ask him on Friday night when Harvey brought him news, Chinese take away, and a contract to read even though he was supposed to be on leave. He couldn't bring himself to do it, though, far too distracted by what Harvey had said before he took the baby from Mike's arms and settled on the couch. Instead, Mike settled down with the work Harvey had set down in front of him. "This is a civil complaint."
"We're going after the attorney who was handling the adoption. They ignored a lot of regulations that could have prevented things from getting this far."
"They want a paternity test."
"I can't fight it but I don't think it's worth it. She's clearly yours."
Mike watched as Harvey stroked the back of his finger over the baby's cheek as he finished feeding her a bottle (and Mike wasn't so far gone that he hadn't managed to sneak a picture of that to send to Donna later). "Do you think?" he asked softly, smiling a bit. He'd spent more time than he was willing to admit out loud trying to decide which pieces of Sophia belonged to him and what he could possibly say when she was old enough to ask about her mother.
"She has your eyes."
"All babies have blue eyes."
"She has your nose."
"I hope not."
"She definitely has your mouth." Harvey smiled down at Sophia, pulling the nipple of the bottle from her mouth, putting her on his shoulder, and gently began patting her back, laughing when she finally burped. "That's all you, too."
"You're good with her."
"I've always been good with the ladies."
"She is way too young for you."
"She's too good for me."
"She's too good for us both."
Harvey tipped his head, his eyes narrowed, as if trying to decide how serious Mike was being. "You're good with her, too."
"It's only been a week."
"You've got this."
"What am I going to do when I have to go back to work?"
"Pearson Hardman was one of the first firms to offer an on-site daycare, Mike. Is this like the time you didn't know we had an IT department?"
"It's never come up before."
"Yeah? Well now you know. She'll be ten floors down with all the other over achieving kids of your co-workers." Harvey stood up, rocking Sophia in his arms as he went to stand in front of the windows. "You've got this, Mike, and you've got me" he said quietly, so much so that Mike wasn't sure he was meant to hear until Harvey spoke again. "Eat your dinner and read through my contract. I've got this."
***
It got easier.
Actually, it got perfect. Mike loved his life. He loved seeing Sophia smile her gummy little smile at him in the mornings as they got ready to leave. He loved being able to sit with her at lunch, not minding a bit that all his ties had been thoroughly chewed on at one point or another. He loved listening for the little sigh she made just before she drifted off to sleep at night. He particularly loved that Harvey found an excuse at some point each weekend to stop by and check on them, usually ending up spending half the day just playing with Sophia and talking with Mike. In gratitude, Mike never pointed out that this--Harvey playing peek-a-boo, Harvey bringing groceries to make sure Mike was eating, Harvey reading to Sophia, even if it was more often contract law rather than Dr. Seuss--definitely fell into the "having feelings" category, mostly because he thought Harvey having feelings was awesome.
***
Mike deliberated for three weeks over what to do for Sophia's first birthday. He entertained a party with all the other one year olds from her day care for a bit but when he consulted Sophia one morning over strained pears and rice cereal, her only reply was Havi. He laughed along with her, dabbing at the splotch on his suit jacket, both because it was her second word (the first, daddy, he was proud to say, had been four weeks ago), and because it was a brilliant idea. He'd always known she'd turn out to be a genius, too.
He couldn't wait to share this revelation with Harvey so they waited for him in the lobby at Pearson Hardman, Mike bouncing Sophia on his hip until he spotted Ray's car.
"Hey, are you free this Sunday?" Mike called out as soon as Harvey was close enough to hear.
"I think I can manage to clear my schedule," Harvey said, trading his cup of coffee and his briefcase with Mike so that he could take Sophia and lift her over his head. He laughed, surprised, when she demonstrated her new word. "Did you hear that?"
"I think she said hairy," Mike teased.
"That was definitely Harvey, wasn't it, pretty?" Harvey said as he settled her against his side, herding Mike toward the elevators. "Can you say it again? Har-vey. Harrr-vey."
"So Sunday?"
"Hmm? Did you think I'd miss my favorite girl's first birthday?"
"You're such a sap."
Harvey snapped his head to look at Mike but his Excuse me? What did you say to me? was lost to Sophia's perfectly timed Havi! as she easily commanded his attention again. Mike could only tip his head back and laugh out loud.
***
In the end, when Harvey found out that Mike had no plans other than Birthday! and Cake! (an elaborate multilayered pink thing in the shape of a ballerina teddy bear that he fully intended to let her dive fist first into if she wanted), Harvey invited them over to his condo. Mike stopped dead two steps inside, Sophia squealing in delight and squirming to get down to hug a massive stuffed unicorn, when Harvey led them into the kitchen to reveal an explosion of pink: streamers, shiny balloons everywhere, bouquets of flowers, and a stack of gifts.
"Harvey," Mike started but didn't know quite where to begin.
"Shut up and enjoy it, Mike."
"But you didn't have--"
"I know. Let's have lunch first. I cooked--"
Mike slipped his suddenly sweaty and slightly shaking hand into Harvey's and pulled him back. Their first kiss was awkward, noses pressed against cheeks and Harvey choking on the words mac and cheese before they both drew back to look at each other. This time Harvey cupped Mike's cheek and ran his thumb gently over his skin, the way Mike remembered watching Harvey doing nearly a year ago to Sophia, as if Mike was just as precious, just as cherished.
"Took you long enough," Harvey whispered against Mike's lips, and Mike nodded slowly.
"I had to be sure."
"And are you?"
"I've always known that you and Sophie are the best things that have ever happened to me, so yeah. If you want us, you've got this."
"I absolutely want this."
Mike smiled, feeling his happiness straight down to his toes and back, and stopped only long enough to press a second kiss to Harvey's lips, to pull him in hard and tight and rejoice at the feeling of Harvey holding on just as tight.
Writer:
escriboPairing: Mike/Harvey
Rating: PG-13
Summary: AU: Mike copes with fatherhood
Notes: So, as part of my pre-Nano training program, I have a hurt/comfort bingo card, that
kiltsandlollies and I are using to challenge one another. This is the result of my first prompt, "brainwashing", which I meant to make a nice Remus/Sirius, as they seem tailor made for a little first war brainwashing scene but then this happened, which seriously stretches the limits of the concept of "brainwashing". :D"I believed her."
"I know you did, Mike."
"I can't believe she did this."
"You have to get past that."
"How?"
"I don't know. Just focus on the baby."
Mike held Sophia tighter inside the circle of his arms and bent to press his lips to her forehead. She smelled so good and he couldn't believe how much he loved her already. The thought of anyone taking her away from him paralyzed him with fear and he determinedly stared at Harvey rather than look at the couple leaning against each other across the room.
"You can't--"
"Mike. Trust me."
"I do."
"Did you sign anything?"
Mike thought back to the weeks he'd spent with Jenny since he'd found out she was pregnant, since she told him the baby was his. They'd made plans, turning the second bedroom into a nursery in the place he'd bought his Gram before she died. He'd planned to sell it after but then he'd bought into the life he thought he was getting instead, the lies that Jenny had woven about the family they'd create together. He had believed her when she said his grandma would have liked that, making a home of his own in this home he bought for her. He had believed her.
Instead he'd found out too late that Jenny had put the baby up for adoption long before she'd come to him, took money from people expecting the same thing he was--a lot of money--and now she was gone, leaving him to pick up the pieces.
"Mike," Harvey said sharply, dragging him back from his thoughts.
"No. Nothing like--I didn't give up my parental rights and I didn't know she was going to do this. I didn't know. I'm not giving Sophie up."
"It's okay, all right? I'll take care of it," Harvey said as he settled his hands on Mike's shoulders, as he moved them to gently cup Mike's face and keep him in the here and now, kept him from panicking. "We'll take care of her together."
***
The first week was hard, but Mike was used to hard. He didn't like it, but in a strange way it was familiar. He developed a routine of bottles, diapers, and naps that kept him from thinking during the day about what was happening with Harvey. He couldn't think about the other couple, for once limiting his compassion because it was what he needed to do to protect his daughter. Harvey said he was proud Mike was finally getting it but that night, lying in bed listening to Sophia breathing through the baby monitor, Mike thought perhaps Harvey wasn't talking about the case but about Mike finally getting his priorities right.
He got the chance to ask him on Friday night when Harvey brought him news, Chinese take away, and a contract to read even though he was supposed to be on leave. He couldn't bring himself to do it, though, far too distracted by what Harvey had said before he took the baby from Mike's arms and settled on the couch. Instead, Mike settled down with the work Harvey had set down in front of him. "This is a civil complaint."
"We're going after the attorney who was handling the adoption. They ignored a lot of regulations that could have prevented things from getting this far."
"They want a paternity test."
"I can't fight it but I don't think it's worth it. She's clearly yours."
Mike watched as Harvey stroked the back of his finger over the baby's cheek as he finished feeding her a bottle (and Mike wasn't so far gone that he hadn't managed to sneak a picture of that to send to Donna later). "Do you think?" he asked softly, smiling a bit. He'd spent more time than he was willing to admit out loud trying to decide which pieces of Sophia belonged to him and what he could possibly say when she was old enough to ask about her mother.
"She has your eyes."
"All babies have blue eyes."
"She has your nose."
"I hope not."
"She definitely has your mouth." Harvey smiled down at Sophia, pulling the nipple of the bottle from her mouth, putting her on his shoulder, and gently began patting her back, laughing when she finally burped. "That's all you, too."
"You're good with her."
"I've always been good with the ladies."
"She is way too young for you."
"She's too good for me."
"She's too good for us both."
Harvey tipped his head, his eyes narrowed, as if trying to decide how serious Mike was being. "You're good with her, too."
"It's only been a week."
"You've got this."
"What am I going to do when I have to go back to work?"
"Pearson Hardman was one of the first firms to offer an on-site daycare, Mike. Is this like the time you didn't know we had an IT department?"
"It's never come up before."
"Yeah? Well now you know. She'll be ten floors down with all the other over achieving kids of your co-workers." Harvey stood up, rocking Sophia in his arms as he went to stand in front of the windows. "You've got this, Mike, and you've got me" he said quietly, so much so that Mike wasn't sure he was meant to hear until Harvey spoke again. "Eat your dinner and read through my contract. I've got this."
***
It got easier.
Actually, it got perfect. Mike loved his life. He loved seeing Sophia smile her gummy little smile at him in the mornings as they got ready to leave. He loved being able to sit with her at lunch, not minding a bit that all his ties had been thoroughly chewed on at one point or another. He loved listening for the little sigh she made just before she drifted off to sleep at night. He particularly loved that Harvey found an excuse at some point each weekend to stop by and check on them, usually ending up spending half the day just playing with Sophia and talking with Mike. In gratitude, Mike never pointed out that this--Harvey playing peek-a-boo, Harvey bringing groceries to make sure Mike was eating, Harvey reading to Sophia, even if it was more often contract law rather than Dr. Seuss--definitely fell into the "having feelings" category, mostly because he thought Harvey having feelings was awesome.
***
Mike deliberated for three weeks over what to do for Sophia's first birthday. He entertained a party with all the other one year olds from her day care for a bit but when he consulted Sophia one morning over strained pears and rice cereal, her only reply was Havi. He laughed along with her, dabbing at the splotch on his suit jacket, both because it was her second word (the first, daddy, he was proud to say, had been four weeks ago), and because it was a brilliant idea. He'd always known she'd turn out to be a genius, too.
He couldn't wait to share this revelation with Harvey so they waited for him in the lobby at Pearson Hardman, Mike bouncing Sophia on his hip until he spotted Ray's car.
"Hey, are you free this Sunday?" Mike called out as soon as Harvey was close enough to hear.
"I think I can manage to clear my schedule," Harvey said, trading his cup of coffee and his briefcase with Mike so that he could take Sophia and lift her over his head. He laughed, surprised, when she demonstrated her new word. "Did you hear that?"
"I think she said hairy," Mike teased.
"That was definitely Harvey, wasn't it, pretty?" Harvey said as he settled her against his side, herding Mike toward the elevators. "Can you say it again? Har-vey. Harrr-vey."
"So Sunday?"
"Hmm? Did you think I'd miss my favorite girl's first birthday?"
"You're such a sap."
Harvey snapped his head to look at Mike but his Excuse me? What did you say to me? was lost to Sophia's perfectly timed Havi! as she easily commanded his attention again. Mike could only tip his head back and laugh out loud.
***
In the end, when Harvey found out that Mike had no plans other than Birthday! and Cake! (an elaborate multilayered pink thing in the shape of a ballerina teddy bear that he fully intended to let her dive fist first into if she wanted), Harvey invited them over to his condo. Mike stopped dead two steps inside, Sophia squealing in delight and squirming to get down to hug a massive stuffed unicorn, when Harvey led them into the kitchen to reveal an explosion of pink: streamers, shiny balloons everywhere, bouquets of flowers, and a stack of gifts.
"Harvey," Mike started but didn't know quite where to begin.
"Shut up and enjoy it, Mike."
"But you didn't have--"
"I know. Let's have lunch first. I cooked--"
Mike slipped his suddenly sweaty and slightly shaking hand into Harvey's and pulled him back. Their first kiss was awkward, noses pressed against cheeks and Harvey choking on the words mac and cheese before they both drew back to look at each other. This time Harvey cupped Mike's cheek and ran his thumb gently over his skin, the way Mike remembered watching Harvey doing nearly a year ago to Sophia, as if Mike was just as precious, just as cherished.
"Took you long enough," Harvey whispered against Mike's lips, and Mike nodded slowly.
"I had to be sure."
"And are you?"
"I've always known that you and Sophie are the best things that have ever happened to me, so yeah. If you want us, you've got this."
"I absolutely want this."
Mike smiled, feeling his happiness straight down to his toes and back, and stopped only long enough to press a second kiss to Harvey's lips, to pull him in hard and tight and rejoice at the feeling of Harvey holding on just as tight.
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He couldn't think about the other couple, for once limiting his compassion because it was what he needed to do to protect his daughter.
Limiting his compassion, yes. Yes. Mike. <3
"You've got this."
Harvey as sure about this as he is about everything, and not giving Mike an inch to be insecure.
He loved being able to sit with her at lunch, not minding a bit that all his ties had been thoroughly chewed on at one point or another.
HANDMOTIONS.
This was just so cool. :D
no subject